Help, Am I Deluded?

I’ve met my fair share of coach/therapist/healer types who were extremely deluded about either their grandiose plans, their skills or their market actually wanting them. There have also been a fair amount if people with a great deal less training and experience than me, who were a load better at marketing and therefore a hell of a lot more financially successful. So the question is, am I deluded too, or is it just a matter of my marketing skills needing a polish?

The thing is, I’ve spent nearly 11yrs in this business in one form or another, and although I’ve enjoyed it, and it’s enriched my life with less stress, 2 miracle kids, a lasting relationship and a feeling of contentment, it hasn’t done so financially. I’ve got to ‘that time’, it’s ‘make or break’. I’ve decided to focus on mums as it is a subject close to my heart. I’ve got a fab new way of doing my coaching online, which makes it more accessible and affordable for mums. Lastly, I’ve signed up for a ‘bootcamp’ to help me launch my new product. But is it doomed to failure, because no one wants it or me?

Let’s back track a bit. When I became a mum, I realised that the training I had received was brilliant, and saved me many hours of angst. But it was also inappropriate for a mums time and resource limitations, so I created the mummy whisperer program. I saw all these mums talking/blogging about losing their identity, having problems with conflict or lack of communication in their families, and getting stressed out because they thought they/their kids/partners/life should be different. My thought process was that they ‘needed’ all these things I could do to help them be more contented with their lives and grow strong families. But, do mums really want it? That is, it might sound nice, and a few might sign up, but are there enough who REALLY want it? And would they want me? And would they pay enough to make them appreciate it and give me a fair level of earnings?

Apparently, I am meant to focus on a smaller niche than just mums, one where I have experience, credibility and contacts. The idea is if I focus on a niche, my message will be clearer and will get more mums signing up. So that has made me decide to focus on mums with kids starting nursery or school. Not new mums of babies, because my longer term plan is to provide them with a book, and not mums of teens because I don’t have teenagers yet. But if there is a market, the next question I’m facing is wether I need to cut it down even smaller to: working mums, work from home mums, or stay at home mums. Now I reckon that my program would help them all, especially as they all face guilt and work/life/rest/play balance in some way shape or form. But I can also see several potential problems, especially that working mums don’t have enough time left over to make their lives easier, and SAHM’s wouldn’t want to spend the money on themselves. By creating a program that can be worked through online, I was hoping that mums could fit it into their lives more easily, and by giving a payment option over 3 months with a 14 day free trial it would make it more affordable. But that might not be enough, or is that where marketing comes in?

There is an even bigger problem as well! What I’m offering is a way for a mum to be more sure of themselves and listen to their own natural instinct and knowledge of their family, instead of a one-size fits all parenting technique. But do mums want an answer tailored to their own family, which leaves them in the driving seat, or would they prefer to be told what to do according to a set of rules, even if it’s pretty much impossible to create? If there are mums who like the idea of what I offer, does that mean that they are already going that way and so don’t need my help?

In the past I have specialised in mental health issues, relationship problems and small business owners. Perhaps a mum facing the loss of her marriage, mental health or business would be more likely to ask for help. But if that is the case, then I’m going to have to take more time off work, because I don’t currently have the time to support these more extreme demands; I was planning on tackling them later.

What do you reckon? I’d really appreciate any feedback (be gentle please!; so I’m going to offer a copy of my book ‘getting the hang of gratitude’ to one of the people who leave a comment (I’ll use some random fair way of selecting!).

21 comments

  1. Hi there. This post really resonates with me because I’m also a coach with kids and facing a similar situation. Ok, I’ve got my niche and I know that my niche has problems to which I have the answer. I’m a health coach and have specialised through further training in helping women ditch emotional eating. I’ve recently turned to working online because juggling clients and the kids wasn’t working very well. I’ve been learning a lot about internet marketing, finding your niche etc. and it all says choose a narrow niche and think about what problems THEY want solving rather than what can you offer and what they would be willing to pay for (crucial that bit!).

    1. Hiya Rebecca,
      that sounds like a great niche! Feel free to repost your url or blog, as the one you have posted doesn’t work. Are you using jigsawbox too? If not, check out http://www.1shoppingcart.com/app/?af=1232882 it’s fab!
      I had a bootcamp focus clinic on my niche today and they reckoned that Mums of children between 2-7 was fine, but gave me much clearer pointers on where I was taking mums from and to, and what my solution to their pains is. Lets hope I can put it all into practice soon and help more mums in the process! Going to do more research as well to make sure that I’m providing something mums want and not just what I reckon they need ;o)

  2. Hi there,

    An NLP response to this might be “what’s your outcome?” ask yourself if it is helping people, making money, having a successful book, being a successful business person etc. If you know the outcome then it makes things clearer.

    It does seem to me that you need to be really clear what you want unordered to be able to articulate and excite other people.

    I kept hearing in the text that you wanted to make a financial gain. Is this the right vehicle, could you achieve it another way, is it more important to you to make money or to help people or tonmakenminey helping people?

    There is a nice process that can be done over the phone. Let me know if you want to do it (no charge!)

    Also, my wife Vicky is pregnant on the second ivf attempt. We are expecting the little lad on Valentines day so your message was relevant to me. What about the dads? I haven’t got a clue what to do with a kid!

    Anyway, I love to see anybody making any kind of creative venture. Please let me know I can help.

    Cheers mate

    Tom McGuire

    1. Hiya Tom, Thanks for all your ideas. Yep, don’t worry, I do have a clear plan of action, it’s just that in a blog post I wasn’t going into that much detail! I dont really have a problem with the idea of making money from giving people a great product. There is an alternative, but making money from my blog, but that would affect the integrity of it. Elena later on suggests corporates, which I do have contacts with, but it isn’t practical with a 7 month old baby! Hope you don’t mind, but I’m not really an NLP lover, but I really do appreciate the offer of help. I had a great focus clinic today on the bootcamp I have joined and got lots of ideas, so watch this space!
      Oooh your baby is due around the same time little dimples was, congratulations!
      Yes, I could help Dads too, but dont have as much credibility & experience; so I’ll leave that to you! There are some great books out there e.g: ‘I’m having a melt down and shes having a baby’, and ‘the fathers book’, but the best source is daddy blogs.
      Keep in touch!

  3. Ok, I havent done your course yet as I have been very very busy but I will start this week (I promise) and give you some really proper constructive criticism. I think the problem with on-line is that you dont have to make an appointment and physically go there and so it, so from that point of view its hard for me as a busy working mum of two toddlers as it always goes on the back-burner.
    I think the coaching that you offer is fabulous and it has really honestly helped me at a point in my life when I needed it. I still go back to it and think about that. For me I think that this is where you really excel.
    For me the stumbling block in these things will always be the cost. I simply cannot justify something that isn’t physically tangible. However, I know for sure that there are mums that can and that is where their priorities lie.Payment options are certainly a good idea as you should get a fair recompense for your services.
    I think you should persevere for a while with your internet idea, but I also think you could investigate giving talks to groups of mums, or hosting special mummy whisperer evenings.
    Once I start the course, i’ll be able to give a bit more feedback, but I dont think you are deluded at all.
    Cx

    1. Thank you so much lovely. Don’t feel guilty at all about not starting yet, I’ve got some great ideas for making starting on the program easier, and am going to add in monthly free webinars to keep the motivation going. I can record them and pop them in with the program and then cut down to 3 monthly ones when things get going. I’m also going to add summaries, so that referring back like you like to do is much easier, and I’m going to try and come up with a cute poster or diary insert of some kind with the most important reminders, which can be there for you guys all the time.
      Yep, going to look at cost in more detail next week. Hopefully, I’ll get a massive following and can then persuade a publishing company to turn this into a book for £6, so available to everyone.
      Great idea about the talks/evenings, thank you, will look at including it into my launch plan.

  4. I love the flexibility that your course offers, the fact it can be tailored around a busy life (sorry I’ve not done more than open it, I’ve had a really bad week)

    Focusing on Mums is a great thing to do and I think there is a need for it, a departure from the prescriptive set of rules and a realisation that you can trust yourself

    I think this is an if you build it they will come – give it time, get out there and promote and as word spreads I think you’re going to have a success on your hands

    1. Thank you, thats a good bit of advice about taking time; very wise! Glad you enjoy the flexibility. I’m going to add free webinars to, to make it easier to keep motivated (they can be recorded if mums miss them).

  5. I think marketing is the most difficult part of being a therapist in most complementary/health fields. Unless you have a lot of financial backing and the sort of personality that allows you to sell yourself well. I agree very much with zooarchaeologist on the matter about something being physical or if not it goes on the back burner.

    I have been a therapist for 10 years and recently went on a marketing course as I wanted to increase my clientelle…. and let me tell you…. I STILL don’t get it!! I am still unable to put myself out there. But what I did get from it is that its best to try do your marketing online. I know what you are offering is a package online and if I could afford it I would sign up NOW……. but I fear that although I want the help.. and need the help I would put it on the back burner because unless someone is there to physically help me and hold my hand, I won’t deal with the issues.

    I think your niche market is a great target audience, as long as they want to be helped, and I think that is where you may need to do market research, if possible. How many mum’s will admit to their issues and be willing to pay that money to deal with it……. some of us hope its a phase!!

    Hope that helps.

    1. At least the good news for you is that when our bodies break we have to come to you ;o) I agree with you about the hand holding. It’s a shame that I can’t do that too, but following loads of your ideas I’m going to add monthly free webinars. You are right ‘its just a phase’ is definitely my key challenge! I’ve got some ideas today about shifting the focus a little more onto what happens for the children when the mummy is contented; afterall we’ll all spend money on the kids ;o)

  6. Hallo my dear friend. While reading your blog one word came to mind a few times, and that was contentment. At the end of your life, you would want to look back and think that you had a full life. But as you get older your priorities change a lot. I’ve read a few biographies and listened to interviews and all these people were extremely succesful financially, but regret time lost with their families. So I would say go for it, but keep your family first. Just as you need to juggle your family commitments, so does your clients. Personally I would suggest narrowing your niche and doing as much as possible over the internet and phone and the odd workshop or coffee morning. I regularly attend a Joyce Meyer coffee morning and MAKE time for it ’cause the benefits outweighs the time/drive it cost me. Statistically ‘word of mouth’ has always had the best returns, but it is a fact that we do need to be visible. We also need to work smart not just hard, so cut back what is not viable and follow your heart.
    Love you darling

    1. I was thinking about you today lovely! I like that word ‘contentment’, its what I’m hoping to offer mums and their families, but you are right, not at the expense of my own. I’ve not heard of Joyce Meyer, will find out more about it, thanks for the idea. xxxx

  7. Apologies for my english I am just start to study to write in english. I have the privilege to have you as coach and what make me crazy is that you have this LOGIC that works so precise regarding people and events.
    I am sure there is many mums out there that really needs your help. What about given speeches or working with big corporates where they have a large numbers of Dads and Mums that they are unblance about their work- life.V family life! It will not take all your time but if you get a big company at least will bring in the dosh. Lets don’t forge you are the most senior Dr Demartini Teacher.

    1. Never apologise for your language gorgeous, after all I can’t write in italian! As a matter of fact I do have a corporate client that I was talking to with a proposal when I was pregnant, but they didn’t move fast enough and little Dimples arrived. I do think that this online coaching would work really well for them, so they are definitely on my target list for next year, but not until I’m able/willing to leave my baby for a bit longer ;o) My plan was to get some corporate work in order to pay for me to do some work with the surestart centres, which are brilliant children centres.
      It’s quite weird being in this market as my background doesn’t really mean anything, so it’s not like in the Demartini community where my qualifications mean something. Life was a lot easier in a way then!

  8. I got this text from someone whose internet was down:

    Hi, G woke up and got my brain turning at this time in the morning and you came to mind. I mainly came up with questions:

    Why do you want to make this work right now?
    Whats the point to D (hubby) if you’re super mum and earning money?
    Also, more mums I know want to be the best for their kids and dont think about themselves, maybe it would work that way; back handed mum strengthening ;o)

    You do already have a baby, so maybe you dont have time for a new one.

    Hope this helps a little
    xxx

    1. Thankyou! Funnily enough I came to the same conclusion myself over night, and it was also highlighted in the focus clinic on my niche today. So yes, I am going to concentrate on the benefits to the kids of the mums feeling fab: which is that it must be better for them to achieve their potential when their mum is contented and centred, and trained to direct them.

  9. How about going back to good old visualisation and manifestation techniques and affirmations Lisa ? I’m reading ur post and thinking it sounds like hard work I’m in the mood for letting go a bit of all my own ideas, letting go and letting the universe do a bit of work I guess.I’m getting the feeling that being a mum must be so challenging for women but I hope they r willing to also put themselves first via your course and asking for help xx

    1. Funny you should say that grace, but I had a similar thought last night and pulled and after a little meditation got this:
      “I have only to believe that I have no fear and my fear will melt away” plus “I have only to believe in myself and all my obstacles will dissolve”.

      It did help just checking I was sane though: watching the xfactor did have me worried that I might be just as deluded about what I’m meant to be doing as some of those poor guys ;o)

  10. Merry Mount also logged a comment, but on the wrong post:

    I have taken many on-line marketing courses, some free, some very expensive.
    . Your content is fabulous and well written. It exudes wisdom with forethought so can rule that out as being the culprit of failure.

    I suggest you google Sean Malarkey (twitter xpert) and Robert Grant with Crowd Conversions. (face book xpert) They both have an enormous amount of free internet marketing guides.
    You may also want to set up and use skype. It is a very cheap phone line you can use just for your business for free. I usually carry a $10 balance just so I can make an international call.
    With skype you can screen share with your clients. Talk & see your clients. Check it out.
    My broken back was a direct result of not making my purpose my priority. When I started my book, I soon learned that internet marketing was a “have to know” was a necessity.
    Check out google adword tool.
    http://www.socialomph.com is a great free tool

    Get back on purpose. Your purpose, my guess, is to teach other mothers how to be a more loving and informed mother.
    Stay focused by asking yourself, prior to every decision you make, “Will this get me closer to my passion and goals?”, and if the answer is no, don’t do it. God is guiding us to our destiny.If roadblocks of self-doubt come to us, we are off purpose. Being on-purpose feels natural and easy.
    At the apex of chaos lies our greatest learning. What is God telling you to do?

    You have attracted this questions of being delusional for a reason.

    Let’s look at the problem: Fear of failure

    This is an emotions problem, that cannot, according to Einstein “A problem cannot be solved at the level it was created”.

    The fears you have now are right brain emotions. Go to the logical side and find how this whole scenario of perceived failure has benefited you.
    Because of Newton’s 3rd law of physics, “For every actions, there is an EQUAL, but opposite reaction. Because of your perception that all has been in vain, it was a bad thing.

    I will help you out with your benefit. I have spent as much time learning marketing as you have producing these insightful blogs. Yours are well done with variety.

    My webmaster is on my ass daily for more blogs. The hard part is done.

    I hope some of these suggestions has helped in some way.

    Stay Balanced
    Love ya”
    Merry Mount
    http://www.MerryMountOnLine.com

  11. So here’s my reply to Merry:

    Thanks Merry! I think that you were trying to update my other post, so I’ll include you in the competition!

    Thank you for your tips, I will look into them. I have found Joel Comm, ShoeString Gal, Mari Smith and ProBlogger whom I have found great. But I have at last signed up for a ‘Bootcamp’ that will take me through the whole process of niching, product building, marketing, sales and launch. I suspect that my week areas are niche, sales and launch, as the internet bit I’m pretty good at (I have been using skype for years and do use socialoomph). That’s why I posted the this blog, because I wanted to make sure that I wasn’t daft before I signed for the bootcamp. Don’t worry, the fears are all sorted out now! I do tend to blog as I process things, to show some reality, because many people in our business only show the end result – new blog on the way.

I love hearing what people think about my posts!