So your friends in real life, twitter or Facebook have a falling out. Should you remain friends with those people? Or is that disloyal? What about if they fall out with a whole association or organisation?
I’m friends on twitter and Facebook with people that I know have fallen out with other people in the long and distant past. In ‘real life’, I might stay on ‘polite’ terms depending on the situation; like with neighbours.
I’m also happily available for any blogging community like BritMums, Love All Blogs, Tots100, Net Mums, Mumsnet, ooh and if Huffington post or Parentdish fancied me, then I’m here! But I can totally understand that this could be frowned upon as many are much more loyal to just one community.
I’m trying to mix a balance between four wise, but contradictory pieces of advice …
Don’t cut off your nose to spite your face
Judge people on how they treat you
If they did it to someone else, they’re just as likely to do it to you
Keep your friends close and your enemies closer
We all makes mistakes
Everyone deserves a second chance
There have been times in my past where I’ve been upset by friends sitting on the fence, I think it can easily make you a little paranoid. In a way the clarity of being disliked is very secure! However that is really rather daft, as not everyone in the world fancies both David Tennant and Ryan Reynolds, so why would we all have the same likes and dislikes in terms of combinations of friends?
It might sound cynical to say ‘keep your friends close and your enemies closer’, but when I wrote about the ‘Mums Standing Up Together Campaign‘ idea I’d had, my twitter time line got very quiet, and it was almost like my back itched. Eventually a mummy blogger I only vaguely knew let me know that she had been inundated all day by messages about it and my suspicions were correct. But should that actually bother me? After all when I thought about it on reflection and realised that there are many different types of discussion, I also realised that to do what I want to do will mean that this happens a hell of a lot more. I’ve been warned about people appearing supportive, but not being behind closed doors, however, on the other hand there are times when I have been really nice to someone in a situation where they needed help, but wasn’t really close or fond of them at all.
I was talking to a good friend yesterday, and she explained that in ‘cave man’ times, we would have competed psychologically for the men, who used the more simple technique of clubbing each other over the head. The woman who survived the psychological attack and appeared stronger emotionally and mentally would appeal more to the physically stronger man. So if it’s that hard wired into us to be horrid sometimes, maybe we shouldn’t blame each other for it and just get on with it? Does it mean that we can’t but help to view every woman as competition?
Anyway, those are just my musings. What do you think? Do you stick to a clique, or try to be friends with everyone? Is it fickle to be in both Mumsnet and NetMums? Do they mind? I admit to feeling a subtle pressure to pick one blogging community and not be a tart and spread myself around all Love all Blogs, Tots100 and Britmums. Are there people out there subtly recording my fickleness; I suspect so?
Right I’m off to a toddler group; another bastion of female cliqueness! So that Little Dimples can learn to share by hitting someone over the head. Soon she’s going to be facing these all important questions about friendships, but at the moment, just being the same age is about all the criteria she needs.