What is success and failure

Am I a big fat loser?

What is success and failureSo I lost the bid to defend my title from last year in the Small Business Blog award for the Mums and Dads blogging awards *sad face*.

Question is, does that make me a big fat loser?

And therefore all the rest of the people who lost and all those who didn’t get to the finals are losers too?

Sensible people would point out that last year I won, and that I won the BiBs ‘Inspire’ blogging award earlier this year.

Mean people would point out that this means I WAS a success and am no more!

 

Philosophically I don’t believe that anyone is more successful than me or you.  I believe that we are successful at what suits us most or what we need most, because that is where our focus and priorities go.

So it makes sense that the winner was the very gorgeous Fiona, who has a lovely holiday retreat for families down in cornwall where kids can meet the animals on the farm, because by winning it will help her family business and it will make sure that more families find out about this lovely place to go.  She has shown a lot of focus to use her blog as an entertaining window into her world, and good on her.

 

I wanted to win to help me with launch or version 2 of my book and the paperback version.  But due to delays I didn’t manage to hit the september deadline anyway.  I remember one of my category last year saying ‘make sure you keep that award on your desk and make the most of it’; and I REALLY did.  But this year I couldn’t have promised the same.

 

I have been feeling a bit of a failure recently as firstly with the general back pain I found myself slow and lethargic, and then as it became really painful I found myself properly depressed.  I’ve been to an Osteo, Physio, acupuncturist, massage, improved my nutrition, coaching, and aqua aerobics, all with no success.  Ironic as I used to be able fix backs worse than mine within 3 months when I first started as a healer years ago, so I’m getting very frustrated 6 months on.  Add to that loss of childcare, problems with sorting nursery settles, putting on a bit of weight due to the bad back, a reduction in available sponsored posts, some friendship shifts and failing to juggle many balls at all and I was definitely not looking ‘successful’ to me.

Myleene Klass at MADsHowever, I did get to review a holiday in the summer and two festivals, I do have my lovely new monthly slot as a ‘lifestyle correspondent’ for Radio Verulam, I got my V2 of my book edited this time and with a few days of final changes it is ready for the techie bit of publishing, and I have a couple of lovely clients sticking with my lack of availability.  Curly Headed Boy seems settled in the new school despite a slight glitch at the beginning on Yr2, and in a few weeks Little Dimples will hopefully be running into nursery happily.  Oh and the pills from the doctor have reduced the pain.  Plus I got to hug Myleene Klass at the awards ceremony and she is really sweet.

 

Statistically speaking if you can read and write in this country, you are already in the top 84% of the country.  There were 3000 blogs nominated for the MAD Blog Awards (there are over 4000 in the Tots100) and only 75 finalists, which would put me in the top 2.5% of the blogs.  I bet the bloggers that didn’t get into the top 2.5% are much better at cooking, baking, sewing, crafting and a multitude of things than I am.  I also bet that they wouldn’t give up those things just to be in the top 2.5%.

There are so many ways to measure ‘success’, and often we ignore the things that come easy to us.  For instance a friend of mine considers me a massive success because I had two kids after being told I was ‘barren’ at 19.  She pointed out to me that it wasn’t just the doctor making a mistake, but that I had put a lot of effort into healing my body, and just because it wasn’t with the specific aim of having kids, doesn’t make it any less of a success.  I wouldn’t be without them, in order to be more financially successful.

For some Mums, just getting to London and managing the fear of walking into a room full of opinionated parent bloggers shows massive success.  Plus if they aren’t currently cripppled with wicked back pain then they are leaps and bounds ahead of me!

 

So do you see what I mean?

When looking at success you need to look at physical health, friendships, kids, family, relationships, financial security, job or job choices, intelligence, mental health, ability to fight back from life’s knocks and sometimes just the ability to get through the day.  Sometimes you are actually looking at the ‘potential’ brewing within them, rather than something that is obvious.

Frankly if you love your kids, are dealing with your problems or asking for help with your problems, and are doing the best you can, then you’ve pretty much cracked it and deserve an award.  If every now and again you find a better way to do things and have a go, then that’s amazing.

Becoming a Mum has brought me back to the basics of life.  I have some big plans, but there are times as a Mum when we need to take each day as it comes and not worry about ‘how’ we will get to the end point.

Just ‘keep on swimming’ as Dory says!

(In the olden days I would be full of deeply metaphysical and philosophical insights and quotes, now I quote ‘Finding Nemo’; just about says it all heh!).

 

Here’s an award, just for being you!

 

Everyone is fab

 

Oh and by the way, thankyou to everyone who did vote for me, I really appreciate it and had a lovely night as a finalist, and thank you to the Tots100 guys for all their hard work!!

 

UPDATE!!!!!!! BREAKING NEWS!!!!!!

OMG guess what I’m a winner after all!!!  This photo of Jessie at Crazy Kitchen and Jen from Britmums/Jenography and the caption ‘What blogging events are all about’ won me a wonderful Nexus7 – thank you so much MADBlogAwards and Asus for picking me!

What bloggers are like!

 

 

 

27 comments

  1. Loser you – good god, Lisa – you have achieved so much, and I look up to you. It was a pleasure to be in the company of so many talented women and men on Friday. I considered it an honour to be there. I think that everyone that made it as far as they did should be incredibly proud of their achievements; yourself included. Keep on doing what you are doing I say!

  2. Being a finalist is such an amazing thing and you should be so proud that people are nominating and voting for your blog! I am definitely successful – Not many people can fit so many chocolate eating opportunities into one day as I can! As for my blog, no awards yet but who knows what the future may bring. I love writing it and would rather be happy than sacrifice something to make it worthy of awards, x

    1. @bex – yes exactly – at the end of my life it’s more important that I don’t feel I missed out on things with my kids I think, so I just have to work with my limitations. BTW I could so compete for the chocolate eating award with you!

  3. I was amazed to be even nominated at all & I thought they must have it wrong when I was announced as a finalist…apparently not though. I would never consider you to be a loser, as that would mean I am too & I think all of us that were there on Friday night are all winners! It was lovely to meet you, what were we like pawing over Myleene like that!! haha

    1. I had so much fun sitting next to you helen – wish I could have stayed longer, but baby was calling :o( I wonder if Myleene knows she has a new stalker? ‘Myleene, Myleene, come over here Myleene, I love you Myleene’ – LMAO!!! Notice how you got the best position with her in the photo too!!!!

  4. Lisa, you manage to be kind, and care about people, and put themselves out when they need help, as well as not moaning about back pain, and managing a family. That makes you a winner in my mind. But you are right that we all focus on what’s wrong with our lives, when just noticing what is good can help sort out so much of the bad stuff. Well done and sorry I didn’t chat with you lots on Friday (and thanks for the help over the dress 🙂 x

    1. So glad you won lovely and you made such a good decision on that dress – absolutely gorgeous!!! Well done for flying the Snorbens flag for the rest of us Losers ;o)

  5. Lisa, Lisa, Lisa. If I remember rightly, aren’t you the ONE blogger that everyone said they’d like to meet when Britmums asked the question? ‘Nuff said. Am DMing you about the rest. I am so incredibly sorry we didn’t get to chat againbut it was scrumptious to see you XXX

    1. Awwww really – I didn’t know that @anya – that’s lovely! We are so going to have to make our own blogging event where we can just chat lots!

  6. No way a loser! You were one of the very first people to tweet with me when I started last year, I looked up to you then and still do now. I had no idea about all the back trouble and thought you looked amazing on Friday night. Our category was “too close to call” from those in the know, it could so easily have been you not me up there and that is in a difficult year for you. I hope this year brings good things your way and lots of success. Thank you for the wonderful words here for my business too, it means loads to me. x

    1. It’s a pleasure Fiona – you made a lovely winner and I was really chuffed for you! You’ve put a hell of a lot of effort into your blog and social media strategy and I hope it makes your gorgeous farm fully booked for the whole of next year!

  7. I think we were al winners in our own right as you say think of health, family friends and although I didn’t win either I had such a fun evening I felt truly honoured to be there 🙂 I cannot wait for the next event and fingers crossed I can get invited 😉 Well done and good luck for the book. Take care, Kate xx

    1. Thank you lovely @makeshiftmummy – yes those evenings are really fun aren’t they. I come away with so many people I didn’t get to talk to though!

  8. Nah, you’re not a big fat loser, flower. And you know why? Cos you’re lovely, you are, and that means you could never be a loser.

    CJ x

    1. Awww thank you @crystaljigsaw – and right back atcha! I’m thinking next year we get them to have a ‘blogger who wrote a book’ award – then you and me can be up against each other and have a good chinwag at the awards (obviously assuming that we kill off anyone else who has also written a book in the meantime!).

  9. I was just so grateful that for the BIBs and the MADs there was a travel category as I would never have reached the finals otherwise. Having a sort-of niche blog helped a lot. But I was writing the same things in all the years I wasn’t nominated for awards and I don’t think I’m doing anything differently – sometimes it’s just whether you are on people’s radar when they are considering nominations.

    So good to meet you again x

    1. It was lovely to meet you properly this time @Trish – yes I think that you are right in that the radar has a lot to do with it. There are lots of amazing bloggers who used to be up for these awards who we don’t see around much – but they are still blogging and getting lots of readers. Plus as I said, you won ‘coolest sponsor’ award with your night on a yacht!

  10. Just look at that big smile – gorgeous (you have amazing teeth btw, have you had them ‘done’?!) I hope this post really doesn’t mean you’re sad on the inside, but I don’t think it does. You’ve achieved so much, and quite rightly need to take a rest and sort your body out rather than push on an wear it out completely too soon. Really wish I could have been at the awards ceremony just to spend time with all you lovely ladies. When I read ‘Frankly if you love your kids, are dealing with your problems or asking for help with your problems, and are doing the best you can, then you’ve pretty much cracked it and deserve an award’, I instantly thought ‘right, well where’s mine then?’, then I scrolled down and saw you had thought of that! You are Fab too :).

    1. LoL @StephsTwoGirls, the only reason you can see my teeth so well is because I’m a bit ‘goofy’ and still have an overbite despite years of orthodontics! Oh yes you definitely deserve that award lovely! Lets hope we get to meet up again soon for pizza/cake in good old Snorbens!

    1. @nickie must admit I was shocked to find out that you are as much of a loser as me! At least I know I’m in bloody good company!

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