Don’t Cut The Easy Ones Mr Osborne, Cut The Right Ones

Benefits CutsToday I’m not here!

I’ve over at Britmums talking about Welfare cuts (if you haven’t read the story of Tamsyn Woods story of her fight for her husband, please do click over there) and how whilst we need to deal with this recession, we seem to be picking on the vulnerable and weak who can’t speak out at the moment.

Come and join in and if you are around on twitter tonight (fri 12th 8.30pm) join us with the hashtag #Shouting4Tamsyn.

It must be possible to have cuts with:

 Common sense

Fairness

The right priorities

 

In the meantime I have some ideas for where they can get extra money from – just took me 5 minutes off the top of my head.  Have you got any? (Yes, yes I know there are the bankers and the rich, but whilst we are being fair, lets look at the middle and bottom of the range too!).

 

Builders: (not all of course, my Dad was a roofer) the ‘pay in cash’ system is HUGE.

Peterborough: when I lived ‘up north’ (I know it’s not really up north, but it felt like it!), everything was done on the black market or in cash, I bet that is true of many places.

Benefits fiddlers: near me now (Hertfordshire) I reckon you could get back £1million easily from the people who are openly playing the system.

Councils: stop letting ridiculous people make ridiculous decisions like spending money on fiddling with the road near me that didn’t need doing.

EU: Oh don’t get me started on the EU.  Other countries don’t do what they say and they totally get away with it, why are you letting them play us for fools?  For instance, if you have a banding system for council houses, shouldn’t people born in England (from any colour/creed/background) get priority?  Shouldn’t people not born in the England pay for their NHS treatment?

Foreign Aid: of course we have a responsibility to help other countries too, but there are some seriously ridiculous spending going on and you know it.

 

Need help Mr Osborne?  Let me at your budget; I can give you a sense of perspective and reorder your spending in a month and I’ll do it for free; think of that, you can have common sense, intelligence, and the ability to add up all yours for a month for free!

 

In the meantime,  stop picking on Mums.  Mums are where everything starts, we are important.  I know you may not be in power when our kids grow up, but the ramifications of your decisions will have a dramatic effect on our society.  So support the strong Mums, struggling to provide for their families or overcome illness/disability.

And seriously Mr Osborne, we shouldn’t have to keep kicking off about ridiculous decisions with no common sense!

So come on, stop picking on the weak ones, and go for the ones that are meant to be paying, or make cuts that show us that you have your priorities in the right place.

 

 

Want to help speak up about this?

Read my Britmums post #Shouting4Tamsyn

Join us on twitter tonight if you can.

Sign the petition for Tamsyn’s campaign being organised by Babyhuddle for her.

Sign the general petition for disability cuts.

If you would like to know more, there is an interesting article in the guardian with lots of stats.

 

 

 

 

 

#BlogItForBabies and Predictions for Mummy Blogging in the UK for 2012

I’m sorry, I haven’t been here for a few days.

‘Where’ve you been?’ you might ask?

Well I was over at Nickie’s place on the fabulous IAmTypecast blog discussing my predictions for the UK Mummy Blogging Community for 2012.  I didn’t post it here as I know many of my lovely readers are not bloggers.  But you might want to take a look, as some of the lessons to be learnt by bloggers in this coming year also work for other groups of people.

I love the Mummy Blogging community, and I think it has great potential.  But what I pointed out is that in order to grow and survive it will need to mature and change.  I feel these changes coming on now, and hope that the bloggers embrace them with open arms.  If they don’t then it could mean the stifling of a great movement, as I have seen in other communities before.  Change always creates a bit of chaos, so there is bound to be upheaval, but it’ll settle down.

I described 5 potential directions for the current bloggers and there are some great comments from people discussing them.

Now obviously, some will move around from one to another, and there will be new bloggers coming along in future years.  However, I do think that there are going to be distinct ‘attitudes’ that bloggers will adopt.  Lets see, we’ll know in the next 6-12 months if I’m right!

I do actually have loads of tips for blogging or running your own small business.  Do you guys want me to pop them on this blog?  Let me know if you’re interested; otherwise I’ll just do more guest posts instead.

 

For the rest of the week I was supporting a blogging campaign which shows all the best of the innovative, far thinking and growth potential that I talked about in my guest post.

The mighty Mammasaurus who runs the blogging site ‘Love All Blogs’ is travelling around the UK this week for the #BlogItForBabies campaign to raise awareness of Save The Children Fund’s ‘Build It For Babies’ campaign.

Here is the official blurb:  Blog it for Babies hope to raise money for selected equipment for a delivery room in a healthcare clinic in Bangladesh. We would love for a  campaign started by parents who are lucky enough to be able to take their babies and children to their GP’s when they are ill to be able to save the lives of little ones in Bangladesh who sadly do not have the same chance.

 

If you would like to donate a pound, all you have to do is text XVRL71 £1 to 70070

 

On Mammasaurus’s arrival in St Albans the whirlwind that is Actually Mummy had arranged a tent, with stalls from fab companies (apart from the 2 companies who refused to pay up at the end of the day despite the price being agreed, getting free links from great websites and blogs, and all the free tips available, let alone the chance to get involved in the activities – sorry had to be said!).

There was an hours lesson with ‘The Rock Choir‘, free blogging/SEO/Social Media tips from top UK mummy bloggers, and we finished with my son Curly Headed Boy teaching how to dance to Justin Bieber’s ‘Baby, Baby’, check out our moves here (the little one is Little Dimples):

 

Those crazy bloggers finished the day with naked ironing; they’ll do anything to raise money for charity!

 

 

Now you know why I love the Mummy Blogging Community!  There are some amazing women in there and I’m proud to know them.

 

Bailey Sarwa

Nominate Someone For A Big Break

Do you know someone who needs a Big Break or needs some money?  Well if so, you can nominate them for a Big Break by clicking here.

Each month a lucky someone will get £1000.

Plus each time someone is nominated Marie Curie Cancer Care  will get a donation.

Bailey Sarwa

It’s kind of a win-win situation heh, hence I accepted the opportunity to blog about it and nominate someone myself.  Then I spent days trying to work out who on earth to nominate as there were so many people.

In the end I chose Becki Anne Jones who is the mum of Bailey Sarwa, a young boy fighting his second bout of neuroblastoma.  This photo is one of the reason’s why; it say’s more than I could put into words.

I’ve chosen her because she is working so hard to look after Bailey, and showing massive determination to raise a huge amount of money for potentially life saving treatment that he can’t get in the UK.  Plus she still has her younger son to look after, who misses her when she is at hospital with Bailey.

This family is obviously so loved that there is a massive campaign around St Albans at the moment to try and raise the money for Bailey.  There are people dancing, collecting, selling, running, jumping out of planes for Bailey, and coming up with more and more ideas for him, even though the majority of us have never met him or his mum.

We might not know him, but what we do know is that Bailey is a fighter, who in the years he was in remission raised money for neuroblastoma himself.

Bailey’s mantra is ‘I know no fear’ and the campaign’s mantra is ‘Believe’.  If it’s possible that positive thoughts and prayers can heal anyone, then I’m sure that he will overcome this fight.  All we need is the money to get him the treatment he needs.

But they have a long way to go.  So I’m really hoping that Becki will win this nomination, so that she gets the £1000, as I don’t have a thousand pounds to give to her myself.

You can nominate her too – the more nominations she gets, the more likely she is to win!

If you would like to donate or run an event for Bailey please go to this official site for Bailey; remember every little counts.

 

Let’s get them back to looking healthy and happy as in this other photo.

 

 

Direct Debit are the company sponsoring this big break campaign, so here is a little plug for them plus an opportunity for you to win £10,000 if you decide to organise your monthly bills …

Giving a special someone a break by nominating them to win £1,000 is part of The Big Break campaign from Direct Debit . And, as well as putting someone forward for that £1,000 prize, if you sign up to pay your bills by Direct Debit with a participating biller, you will be in with a chance of winning your very own Big Break to the tune of £10,000.  At the same time, you’ll trigger a donation to charity – either to the biller’s own nominated charity or to Marie Curie Cancer Care.  You can find out more about the campaign here http://www.thebigbreak.co.uk 

Disclosure: I wasn’t paid anything to write this post.

 

Cake

#DoSomethingYummy – Eat Cake!

Today I had a huge pile of Mummy bloggers at my house and here is the massive pile of cake we had (in fact there was more, but I missed off some lovely biscuits!)

       

This is the advantage of living in St Albans; the Mummy Blogging capital of the world.  Lots of bloggers and lots of cake!  I think that we can potentially look a little scary when we go to an event together, but we are really very friendly – after all everyone who eats cake must be friendly!

I know that they wanted a look at each others blogs, and thought you might want to know who else hangs out around me.  So here is the list of cake eaters …

  1. Helen Redding – Crumbs and Pegs – who feels she is a newbie; I can remember what that feels like, I still feel like that myself sometimes!
  2. Annie Robb – Just Annie QPR – who brought eggs and will be my children’s heroine this weekend as they love eggs for breakfast and are loving make easter decorations.
  3. Renatka Behan – Fabulicious Food – who made the big chocolate cake and cupcakes; all I can say is yum!
  4. Penny Carr – Mrs C – the lovely Penny, always so humble about her blogs success
  5. Clare Rudd – The Veggie Experience – poor lass had to sit on a wooden step with no complaint
  6. Helen Wills – Actually Mummy –
  7. Chrissie – Mediocre Mum – so pleased to see her since her husbands accident and hear that all is OK
  8. Heidi Roberts – Kitchen Talk – brought warm banana bread, much to Chrissie’s delight
  9. Mirka – All Baby Advice – the memorable Mirka who managed to not give birth while there – phew!
  10. Me – who eats cake, and has a rubbish memory!

I admit to having help – the lovely Nanny Bets came over to keep an eye on the kids, so that we might get a chance to finish the odd sentence.  Plus the big hairy northern one sorted the crumb mountain which pretty much went from the front to the back door by the end of the morning.  He is actually going back to work next Tuesday, so I thought I should make the most of him; hope this is a confidence boost for any of you looking for jobs at the moment.  (BTW I’m just a bit behind, there will be more blogs about coping with redundancy coming soon).

 

I’ve written this post for #DoSomethingYummy #EatCake for the charity Clic Sargent (an amazing charity for families dealing with a child who has cancer).  I’ve been supporting it for the last 4 weeks with my blog posts:

Surviving Mental Health for #DoSomethingYummy – my first honest account of 3 problems I’ve experienced

#DoSomethingYummy for Half Term and Two Year Old Birthdays – guaranteed to make you smile!

#DoSomethingYummy: A Warning from my childhood: The Cinderella Complex – a serious discussion about how ‘the one’ and expecting to be able to rely on a prince, can have dangerous effects.

#DoSomethingYummy: Can you love two children the same: How I found it different but the same loving two children

If you would like to get involved then Yummy Mummy Week is from 10-18th March 2012. It is a week long fundraising event where mums are being asked to get together with friends and family and ‘do something yummy’ for CLIC Sargent.  If you would like to run an event to support the week go to www.yummymummy.org.uk and sign up for a fundraising pack.

NHS: Is it Fair That People/Children Without Choice Don’t Get Help?

My head’s disagreeing with itself.

It watched a program about the American situation with horror.  There are children without homes, and not getting anything to eat when they go home from school.  People are living in tent cities or storm drains.  It was like something out of the middle ages.  Of course, unlike us they don’t have the same degree of NHS and Benefits system.

Someone asked an American politician what he would do about a man in a coma without health insurance who would die without medical assistance.  The Politician said ‘but he made the choice not to have health care’.  So they pushed and said ‘So you are going to leave him to die?’, and again the politician said ‘he made a choice’.

I came away for the first time glad that our rate of tax is higher, and much more appreciative of our systems; despite the fact that at times I have wondered why I’m paying for a group of people (NOT all, just some) to do nothing and taking away their responsibility and ‘choice’ for sorting their lives out.

Then I watch a program about the growing problem of obesity in the UK and that the likelihood is that it will bankrupt the NHS.  This makes me think that America must be really struggling with it already.  For a start it infuriates me as no operation is going to educate someone or help them learn the skills they need to motivate themselves to take care of themselves.  Why don’t people understand that you can’t help people to lose weight with diet and exercise only?  Why don’t they realise that mindset and education are the most important things?  So I’m not keen on the operation anyway and am pretty sure that mindset, education and exercise could be covered for less than £50,000 (cost of the gastric band operation).

Then I hear stories about Bailey Sarwa, a 12yr old boy with Neuroblastoma cancer.  During his remission he raised loads of money for charity.  But now it’s back.  There are treatments available for him in America or Germany.  But ‘we’ don’t have the budget for it.  So his parents are desperately trying to raise the money for him.  Doing all the posts for #DoSomethingYummy over the last month has made me find out more about parents with children who have cancer, I can totally see why they are trying to pull out all the stops to save their son.

How can that be right?  He has no choice about being ill.  But the obese, alcoholics and smokers do have a choice.  How can that be fair?

My parents were alcoholics, my mum had lung disease from smoking, I smoked for 10yrs, I was overweight for years, my husband was overweight and technically obese.  I understand the problems involved in having an addiction.

But there is choice; Oh God, now I sound like that cruel American politician.

There’s no doubt that we know that over eating will kill us, infact according to new statistics, being obese is more likely to kill you than smoking or drinking; which is shocking.  There’s tonnes of information all over the media about nutrition, hell even Jamie Oliver tackled it!  So it’s no excuse to not understand the basics of nutrition.  Admittedly mindset isn’t covered much, and even the personal training world doesn’t focus on it much.

Would I have wanted my mum to have no health care for her lung disease?  My Dad died of cancer, which could have been associated with the alcohol.  Would I have wanted him to die at home with no pain relief?  Was I just lucky to learn the things I learnt about nutrition and mindset?  Am I being overly harsh on these people, and not thinking of them as ‘real people’?

Or is it the budget that is wrong?  Our governments (labour and conservative)  spend stupid amounts of money on things that make no common sense.  But the budget can’t be un-ending.  We all have budgets, so we know the truth of that.

Is it all about sacrifices for the ‘greater good’; the idea that sometimes you have to make a tough decision because there is the potential that any money spent on a child with cancer, might be ‘wasted’ because they might still die?  The cost of the treatment is really high, but there aren’t as many sick children as there are obese people.  Children have so much potential to give to this world.  Or am I just blinkered because I’m a mum?

I don’t have any answers.  I’d love to know what you think?

Are you as confused as me?  Or do you know something I don’t that will shed light on all this?

 

If you would like to know more about Neuroblastoma here is the link to ‘Families Against Neuroblastoma‘.

If you would like to donate to Bailey Sarwa’s appeal (every little pound counts), then you can donate here.

 

Mental Health

Surviving Mental Health for #DoSomethingYummy

Mental Health

This post is being written as part of the blog prompt for #DoSomethingYummy  from Typecast which is the campaign for CLIC Sargent Charity for children with cancer.  I’ve picked the prompt ‘Something I’ve survived‘.  

Yummy Mummy Week is 10th-18th March, so if you haven’t had a chance to add your own post, you still have time. OR just donate a few quid.

I do hope that you will think about donating even a little bit to CLIC when you think about what those children and parents are surviving and dealing with.  This is a great practical charity, that does loads of things to help the families and help them survive the awful stress of a sick child.

 

I’m going to talk about how over my life I ‘survived’ a ‘nervous breakdown’, ‘suicidal tendencies’ and more recently some kind of ‘Identity/Midlife Crisis’ or ‘Mummy Breakdown’.

I’m really nervous of writing this post.  I don’t know why, as the stats show that at least 1 in 4 of us will have some sort of mental illness in our life.  Maybe it’s the fact that I’ve had a few experiences of it that bothers me?  Makes me sound a bit ‘unstable’.  I didn’t even know I was worried about it, until I tried to write about it.  Plus I’ve been very ‘lucky’ with the help around me and knowledge I had, so I think that I feel a little guilty.

The other thing is what on earth to call it?  Because I’ve been in the alternative healing or therapy world for 12 yrs, I never had to go the medical route, so I was never labelled.  I don’t want to upset anyone who has had a label and get it wrong; there are so many different types of problems with mental health.

I’m not sure that it matters what I call it though, does it?  It was definitely something I survived; just.

My first experience was more like a sudden ‘nervous breakdown’, probably on the verge of a full ‘mental breakdown’.  It felt like I was teetering on the edge of a black hole.  I was pulled back from the edge by fellow therapists in a Kinesiology based therapy.  So I just experienced the shut down of my body for about 6 months.

In my second experience I just didn’t want to be in this world any more and grew an unhealthy fascination with trains; i.e. suicide.  (I know that makes no logical sense, and also I should have thought of the train driver; but I wasn’t ‘thinking straight’).  This time I was even luckier, as I was trained in a much deeper form of therapy and my mentor was in the UK.  After 2 very tough hours he got me back to life and able to work through the baggage.

What ’caused’ these two situations you might ask?  Why does someone, as we often see in the media these days, just crack?

I suspect the stresses of the previous 30yrs had taken their toll.

I was very up and down in nature at the time.

My very unhealthy belief in something that was impossible was a huge part of it.

Ironically learning all those therapies can make people less stable for a short while.

Plus I wasn’t taking care of myself well; always pushing too hard.

And I didn’t have a wide spread of interests.

It’s proved to be true that someone who has a wide spread of interests is more likely to survive the vagaries of life, because although one area of life might have the rug pulled from under it, the other areas will be able to keep them stable.  I had given up a well paid job, moved house and lost a lot of my ‘identity’ or ‘personal power’ in the process.  So since then I’ve very carefully watched my beliefs, and got rid of most of my ‘baggage’ and tried to keep a broad range of interests.

But it happened one last time, because I missed on important part of the equation; my basic foundations, which is pretty typical for a Mum.

It kicked in a little a few months after Little Dimples was born, I’d had a health scare and things weren’t going well at home.  I became the most pathetic version of pathetic that you can imagine.  A friend politely described it as ‘losing my mojo’; you know when a mum goes ‘grey’ and starts to disappear.  That’s where I was and I was TERRIFIED; sorry for the capital letters, but it seems such a silly thing to be scared of, and yet it felt like a life or death situation.  I was scared that if I didn’t do something I was going to soon end up a half-dead shell of a Mum, who cooked, cleaned, did all the basics, but that was all.  It could be considered a ‘mid-life crisis’ because I was just over 40.  It wasn’t the fog of depression.  It felt paralysing, so maybe it was some sort of long panic attack or ‘Identity crisis’?  Maybe I’ll call it a ‘Mummy Breakdown’; i.e. something to do with being a Mum, not PND, and not life/coping threatening?

This time no one else seemed available to help me, and I wasn’t in a space to use all the techniques I’ve learnt.  So what to do?  Run away?; I tried that, it didn’t help.  Give up?; However pathetic, there is something a bit bloody minded about me.  At last listen to the cliches and practical stuff I’d been spouting off about about looking after myself and the basics of life; Bingo!

After nearly a year, on the 11/11/2011 I woke up and thought ‘F*** this for a game of laughs’ and started to sort my ‘Sh*t’ out and blogged as I went.

The cliches were surprisingly true:

Change Yourself To Change Your Life

I was stunned by how really simple things could make me feel a thousand times better, within just a few months without changing anyone else or any of my circumstances.  I didn’t even ‘do therapy’ stuff as I would normally have done.

All I did was change me and look after my health.

I sorted myself by focussing on the things that I did have control over, rather than the things that I was missing or had no effect on, and by looking after myself and my body; And so was born my book ‘The Mummy Whisperer’s Six Steps To A Sparkling You And Enjoying Being A Mum’, which maybe should have been called ‘How To Survive A Mummy Breakdown’.  I decided that the things I did have control over where my thoughts, how I managed my time, my nutrition and fitness, how my house was laid out, some of the finances of the house, and getting a bit of sparkle back into my life.

I wouldn’t say that my ‘journey’ is over; I’m half way through finishing writing ‘Losing Weight for busy mums without diets or bootcamps’ and there are a good 3 more books to come after that I suspect.  But I love to write, so maybe that is the ‘silver lining’ from all of this?

In the next couple of days I’m going to write up a simple set of tips to help anyone get started who is feeling stressed or overwhelmed.

If you are currently suffering from a mental illness it will help you too, but it depends on the depth of it as to how much you’ll be able to do without a external help from someone else; I’m not in anyway underestimating how difficult it can be to pull yourself out of it on your own.  Maybe the stars where just aligned well for me that day to give me a kick start?  So I’ve got an idea for that too for how I could give you a little kick start and pick me up, so come back next week to check it out.

Most of all I hope that any Mums who don’t take basic care of themselves will now understand how potentially harmful it can be.  You need healthy food, a bit of exercise and sleep to manage as a Mum.  Running around like a headless chicken, in a house that stresses you out, and not getting your budget under control can lead to so much stress that you will one day not be able to deal with it.

Think of your kids and start to think more about yourself.

I’d really love to know what you think of my post as it’s the most honest I’ve ever been about these three times in my life, so feel free to add lots of comment love!

 

** The picture at the top comes from an amazing australian artist called Craig Martin www.craigmartinillustrations.com


#DoSomethingYummy: Half Term and Two Year Old Birthdays

Cuteness alert!

This wasn’t just any old half-term.

This was the one where Little Dimples turned two and totally ‘got’ what a birthday was.

So here she is singing ‘Happy Birthday’ to herself!

 

 

Oh and if you didn’t get the last few words, we reckon it was ‘and there you go’!

 

I know that the subject of sick children is really hard to think about, so many of you will want to ignore the fact that this is to do with CLIC.  All I’m asking is that you think about it for a second.  Some families have kids who aren’t well enough to sing ‘Happy Birthday’.  But organisations like CLIC make it easier on the children and the families.  We might not be able to get rid of all disease; that’s not possible.  But charities that support families at these tough times are therefore very worthwhile to give your hard earned money to.

This post is being written as part of the blog prompt for #DoSomethingYummy  from Typecast which is the campaign for CLIC Sargent Charity for children with cancer.  I’ve picked the prompt ‘Of Half-term and getting the kids involved‘.  

 

cinderella complex

#DoSomethingYummy: A Warning From My Childhood: The Cinderella Complex

cinderella complexThis post is being written as part of the blog prompt for #DoSomethingYummy  from Typecast which is the campaign for CLIC Sargent Charity for children with cancer.  I’ve picked the prompt ‘What kind of family did you grow up in? ‘

I did some research into CLIC and found this info on their site ….. As the UK’s leading children’s cancer charity, CLIC Sargent is the only organisation to offer them all round care and support. That’s because we’re there every step of the way:  During treatment – providing specialist nurses, play specialists, Homes from Home  In hospital & at home – offering specialist social care and support in the community – services for young people, holidays, grants  After treatment – helping survivors, supporting those bereaved

 

I have what I call a ‘juicy’ family history.  Ironically, it’s not some of the more difficult or shocking things that happened in my past that causes me trouble sometimes; I’ve been there, dealt with most of them and forgotten more than I can remember.  No, at the moment I’ve realised that I’m still haunted by the ‘Cinderella complex’.  I was reminded of it when I read Claire Macnaughton’s post.

I’m writing about it as a warning to all Mums of young daughters, who like Little Dimples, might like watching Snow White or any of the other hundreds of disney films available.

So cut to my teenage; ailing elderly parents,and many an afternoon watching subtly brainwashing black and white movies to make sure I stayed chaste and ‘saved myself’ for ‘the one’.  This was a very clever move on behalf of my mother, who was never going to do ‘the talk’ with me.

I was a thorough romantic and loved any type of romantic film.  But it birthed a belief in me that there would be ‘ONE’ person that I could rely on for ever and for everything, who would be totally and persistently reliable.  This belief has haunted me ever since in many different formats, and I’m still trying to shake it.  It is a truly dangerous believe, because it is totally impossible for it to be true and I’d held it as a basic fabric of my existence.

The truth is that everyone is reliable, if you understand them well enough to be able to predict their behaviour.  However, they won’t always be able to be there for you, do what you want them to do or want to be there for you.  Plus if you don’t know them deeply it can appear that they are very unpredictable.  Problem is; no one told me that.

At about 20 I suddenly realised that my mother (nick named the ‘wicked witch of the west’) wasn’t that all encompassing ‘would love me whatever I did’ person and quickly put the crown of responsibility on the big hairy northern husband’s head.  We are obviously still together 23yrs later, but that crown well and truly fell off.  I didn’t mind the crown falling off his head, but my problem was that I realised that no one else was going to pick it up.  It broke my heart and made me question the worth of the world for a scary while.

I thought I’d cracked it, but I actually replaced it with therapy; specifically the very complicated one that I’ve trained in.  This let me down as a Mum, as it was totally impractical in the life of a mum.  You can see where I was motivated to create the ‘Mummy Whisperer’ from now can’t you ; to create that reliable presence on the internet or in a book that a Mum could just pick up whenever she needed it?

I thought I had cracked it again.  But in my recent tiredness, I realised that I had sneakily replaced it with a slightly different belief; that I could be sure of what I was getting from people I paid.  Hence I employed a cleaner, and little old irish granny and would often choose to throw money at a problem, whether it was needing some energy (reflexology) or getting some DIY done.

It’s not so dangerous a belief any more, just uncomfortable to discover with hubby being made redundant, so a lot of the support systems I had built up are no longer there.  I’m tired.

Time to look for a new option maybe?  Or time to break the myth so that it doesn’t cause me trouble any more?  I know that there are predictable things in the world, but none of them are sufficient for me; even the weather seems unreliable now a days!  Perhaps I should look at why I wouldn’t want one reliable source of support; it would actually be very suffocating after all?

In the meantime, I don’t think that ‘Twilight’, ‘Disney’ or ‘Gone with the wind’ have ruined my life.  But as a Mum of a little girl, I plan to just whisper a few realities in her ear so that she doesn’t grow up to face the harsh lessons that I did.  It’s a fine balance between allowing her to see and feel the magic in the world, but also have two feet grounded on the realities of the world.

Isn’t it ironic that what seemed like one of the easiest parts of my childhood has actually caused one of the biggest problems?

Have you found that some of the best times of your childhood have made your adulthood difficult?

Did you fall for the Cinderella complex?  Does it affect what you let your children watch?

I’d love to know what you think.

Brother and sister

#DoSomethingYummy: Can you love two children the same amount?

This post is being written as part of the blog prompt for #DoSomethingYummy  from Typecast which is the campaign for CLIC Sargent Charity for children with cancer.  It hit a note with me because just after Little Dimples was born I had a cancer scare for about 6 months.  The terror that hit me was immense, but there is one thing that I know would feel worse and that would be one of my children falling seriously ill.

Whilst I was writing this post I heard about a little 12yr old boy living near me who is suffering a rare form of cancer.  There is no treatment available in the UK but hope in Germany and the States.  Every little counts, but it’s needed FAST.  Here is his Facebook group and the article in my local paper with more specifics.  While he was in remission, this little boy raised £5000 for charity himself, so I’m hoping that he gets a massive dose of Karmic love back for him.  So far they have raised £21,000, but they need £500,000, so all we need is lots of Mums to give £1 or 100,000 to give £5.  Here is where you donate.

 

Many Mums worry about how they can feel the same about another child after their first.  How could you possibly feel that much love?  For me I felt that my love to Curly Headed Boy got even bigger when I saw how lovely he is with Little Dimples, and how close they are.  My brothers are twenty years older than me, and not close to each other.  So I hadn’t seen that sort of sibling love close up, and it’s really lovely.

I assumed it was obvious to him, but one day I asked my son wether he knew that I loved him as much as my daughter and I nearly cried when he shook his little head.  How could he not know, when I constantly told him I loved him and hugged him?  I was careful to repeatedly remind him afterwards that I love him and that I love him as much as my daughter.  I also remind him when she is naughty, that it was his idea to have another child in the first place!  (He nagged me for a year for a sister; good thing she came out a girl!).

But it is different.  It’s the same amount.  But it’s a different feeling, and they have had different effects on my life.

Curly Headed Boy is my soul mate, its a deep intense love, and he has been a guide to me about who I am and what I want to be in this life.

Little Dimples is my sweetheart, it’s a much lighter love, and she has helped me to get stronger in myself and realise what I love to do in this life.

(Some people might wonder where the big northern hubby might fit into this; he teaches me what I want to have in this life)

It’s a really amazing experience to go from technically barren, to falling pregnant at 36 without trying and then most of all discover that you love being a Mum.  It’s a huge part of why I do what I do as the ‘Mummy whisperer’, because I think I am so, so, so lucky to enjoy it so much.  I love my work, but I love my children more and I hope that I don’t ever have to face the idea of losing them.

 

 


An Amazing Woman In My Life

It’s amazing what you can find in Tesco’s; I found a 73 year old, Irish grandmother with a huge heart.  She cares for Little Dimples while I work, gives Curly Headed Boy the security of a nearby grandma, and supports me in the way that my Mother would have wanted to if she had been alive.  She would say that she has gained so much from us, but I she doesn’t know how special she is.  So here’s to you Nanny Bets, an angel sent here to watch over us xxx

 

 

I am writing this post as part of the 90 words about 90 women for Breakthrough Breast Cancer, which was started by ‘Kate On Thin Ice’.  If you are a blogger and would like to join in and support Kate, click here for more info.