Guess What?!!!!!!!

I’ve been jumping up and down for the last couple of weeks because I’ve reached the finals in TWO, yes that’s the TWO main parent blogging competitions this year.

Thank you to everyone who nominated me!

The first is the ‘BiBs’ or Brilliance in Blogging run by Britmums.  I’m up for the ‘Inspire’ category, and thankfully just have to sit back with all my fingers and toes crossed for the next few weeks until the BritMums Live blogging conference.

But I need your help with the second!  This is for . . . → Read More: I need five minutes of your time for an itsy bitsy vote!]]>

Guess What?!!!!!!!

I’ve been jumping up and down for the last couple of weeks because I’ve reached the finals in TWO, yes that’s the TWO main parent blogging competitions this year.

Thank you to everyone who nominated me!

The first is the ‘BiBs’ or Brilliance in Blogging run by Britmums.  I’m up for the ‘Inspire’ category, and thankfully just have to sit back with all my fingers and toes crossed for the next few weeks until the BritMums Live blogging conference.

But I need your help with the second!  This is for the MADs ‘Mums and Dads Blogging Awards‘ run by the Tots100 and hosted by Parentdish.

I’m defending my title as Small Business Blog and really need your votes as I’m up against some great blogs.

Click here to vote for me!

Winning last year really helped my blog take off, so winning again would be a huge bonus.  The more things like this that happen, the more I ‘get out there’ and can help Mums who aren’t enjoying their lives right now.

Whilst you are at it, some of you might not know many blogs, so can I give you a little hint of 3 other great blogs, and friends of mine for St Albans also up for a vote?  I wouldn’t suggest them if I didn’t think that they are great!

All Baby Advice – Mirka has just had a new baby and so is up for best baby blog.  I love her blog because it talks about raising bi-lingual kids

Actually Mummy - the lovely Helen writes a fab blog from the perspective of her eight year old daughter and is up for the school days blog.

Dorky Mum – Ruth is a new blogger who is unusual in that she talks about politics and is up for the best new blog

I kept a little quiet for a while as I was in Woman’s magazine a few weeks ago, and it was REALLY embellished.  So I kept my head down incase anyone actually read it!  I wasn’t expecting to take up a whole page, I thought it would be more like a little corner, so I was a bit shocked.

Big northern one, you might want to go away for a bit as I share some . . . → Read More: How to fit sex into a busy life as a parent?]]> I’m back to doing what is most popular on my blog: writing about sex!  In particular how to fit sex into a busy life as a parent.

I kept a little quiet for a while as I was in Woman’s magazine a few weeks ago, and it was REALLY embellished.  So I kept my head down incase anyone actually read it!  I wasn’t expecting to take up a whole page, I thought it would be more like a little corner, so I was a bit shocked.

Big northern one, you might want to go away for a bit as I share some (not all) of our secrets!

Here’s our problem:

• We’ve got rubbish sleepers.
• Little Dimples is still napping at lunch time, so doesn’t go to sleep until late, by which time I’m knackered.
• Now we have two kids, nap times aren’t available for a quickie at the weekend.
• There are no relatives nearby, so no accessible babysitting; my kids are fussy about trust.
• Little Dimples is still breastfeeding so evenings are tricky in terms of going out for a meal because that’s when she most wants milk.
• I’m co-sleeping and sometimes Little Dimples is very aware of there being no actual body next to her.

So you can see that in order to fit in sex to our lives, it requires some ingenuity.

But there is some ‘good news’!

• Whereas I used to get really grumpy without sex, I’m now more chilled about it.  I think that I used to need it for intimacy, but I now get loads of cuddles and love from the kids, so I’m basically just after sex (sorry if that is shocking to anyone who doesn’t think that Mums have any libido left).
• Being over 40 has helped too, as I’m more confident in myself, and less nervous.
• Losing 2 stone last year and getting to a healthy weight has helped me gain more confidence
• My kids love a little old lady who lives locally who helps out with looking after Little Dimples when I work.  So she is available sometimes during the daytime at the weekend.

So what are my tips?

Tips For Mums

1) What’s the minimum?

Work out what the basic minimum is and aim to hit at least that.  Don’t worry about what everyone else is doing; they’re probably lieing about it anyway!

Basically compromise between what you would both ideally like, any differences in libido, and reality.  I know you’re tired, and I’m not suggesting you make it worse, but a couple of 20 minutes here and there per month  aren’t going to make it much worse; you might be lucky, it might only be 5 mins ;o)

2) Be patient and adjust rather than complain

‘This too shall pass’ – it’s not long in the lifetime of a marriage to have to adapt your sex life a bit for a few years.  Remember that this is about keeping your sex life alive in some way, and ‘a change is as good as a rest’.

Be realistic about the type of sex you are going to have.  If your life is like mine it is likely that long romantic sessions are not going to fit in, maybe enjoy the excuse to have ‘quickie’ sex!

3) Plan it and think out of the box

Don’t complain about the lack of spontaneity, after all it can be fun to schedule sex and have the anticipation.

Don’t leave it to the man to make sure it happens.  They aren’t going to be as aware as you are of the difficulties of fitting it in.  So it’s up to you to keep an eye on your monthly diary and make sure that you can fit in at least the minimum with trips/visitors and your period (if he’s fussy).

If evenings hardly ever work out for you, think about organising for your kids to go to see a neighbour/friend/relative during the day for a couple of hours.  Our excuse is that we want to go out for coffee for a ‘chat’ (which we do also do sometimes – now I’m blushing at the look I’m going to get every time I mention coffee to my neighbours!).

4) Find a way to cut down on the foreplay time needed!

Don’t be subtle.  If he doesn’t notice the lingerie, perfume and the fact that baby went to sleep early, just be direct i.e. ‘Fancy a quickie?’ works well.  (I’ve got some more posts up my sleeve to help with this!).

If you need a build up, then whisper something suggestive in his ear at the beginning of the day and enjoy the fun of ‘sexting’.  By the time your chance comes you’ll both be up for it.

5) Don’t worry if it doesn’t work out

If you are managing to hit your minimum, then you should be able to have a sense of humour when things go wrong; i.e. the kids puke or one of you ends up snoring!

Plus you’re parents, so you’re probably tired, especially if you have young kids, so a degree of pragmatism is going to be needed.  Make sure that you keep talking about it and don’t stick your head in the sand; you’ll probably find that chatting about your mutual tiredness and frustration will help loads.  Perhaps go out for that coffee after all, just to get a chance to chat together and feel more intimate.

Tips for the man:

Often all you’ve got to do is ‘turn up’ and don’t mess up your chance at getting some sex!

Check out my post on what makes a man unsexy and my other one on what makes a man sexy and my top tips on persuading a wife that isn’t keen on having sex.  I’ve written loads more about sex and being a parent here too.

Basically if you want sex, make sure she isn’t too knackered or feeling like a drudge, and don’t be grumpy/smelly/lazy in the last couple of hours of the day, because then sleep is going to look a lot more attractive than you.  Plus remember that many women will need some intimacy, romance or affection in between as well!

What do you guys reckon?  Do you have any top tips you’d like to share to help out other busy parents with fitting sex into their hectic lives?

Would any of these tips just not work for you at all?

How many of you find that because you don’t schedule your sex life in any way, it often doesn’t happen for weeks or months on end?

Changing where you child goes to school is even worse!

Rationally there is no way that just this one choice will be the making or breaking of them.  But for some reason we become complete nutters when bewildered by choices, social pressure, decisions between private vs state schools and ghosts from our own experiences.

I was always a big fan of state primary, it seemed daft to pay for something that was available for free.  But never say . . . → Read More: Why we changed our mind from state school to private and back again]]> Choosing schools must be one of the most stressful experiences a parent ever goes through.

Changing where you child goes to school is even worse!

Rationally there is no way that just this one choice will be the making or breaking of them.  But for some reason we become complete nutters when bewildered by choices, social pressure, decisions between private vs state schools and ghosts from our own experiences.

I’ll never pay for primary I said!

I was always a big fan of state primary, it seemed daft to pay for something that was available for free.  But never say never!

When you are pregnant you just don’t look at schools as much as the older parents advise you to.  So although there were ‘problems’ with the local state school Bowmansgreen, there were plenty more around, so we didn’t think twice about it and moved into a new quite ‘posh’ estate in a ‘village’ called London Colney (it’s more like a suburb to St Albans).

Then the baby boom hit.

Panic and the rush for a Private school

Bowmansgreen was my only option and although it had a new headmistress with a great reputation, but she hadn’t sorted the problems out yet.

To be honest there’s not a lot of ‘problems’ where we live, but there are two little areas of the village where there are definite big problems.  Of course within those two areas are great and lovely families.  However a select few make a big impression, and it just so happens that I live quite near one of these areas.

I just wasn’t willing to let my ‘golden haired boy’ be an experiment that might go wrong – rightly or wrongly.

So along with my whole crescent I panicked.  I was late in preparing Curly Headed Boy and competition for private schools near London is intense.  He was lucky to get a place and so off he went to a private school called Radlett Prep.  (A prep school is one that is specifically preparing kids for getting into good private secondary schools).

After a few settling in problems he seemed to really start to enjoy it.  The school is very old fashioned, and hard core; but then most of the private schools are tough.  But it was always very clear what you were getting from them; maths and english.  Pretty much just that.

However, there was one problem.  I knew he was imaginative, creative and artistic, but apparently he is also bright, so the school just wouldn’t let him relax; after all he was a prime candidate for good results.  It wasn’t just the school either, as there were some kids who were ‘unusually competitive’; I’m talking critiquing his spelling, writing, reading and speech.

He said he was fine.  But I was worried that the ‘real him’ was getting squashed.  Plus he looked tired, really really tired and developed nervous ticks.

(Now don’t get me wrong; this is not a criticism of private schools as some of the kids were really thriving under the structure and pressure.  It’s very much a case of me not being sure that it suited my child, that is all.  Plus there are different types of private school; it’s just that he didn’t get into those ones).

The universe offers up an excuse

Then the big hairy northern one was made redundant.  I gave notice immediately ‘just incase’ he didn’t get a job quickly as previously he was off work for over a year.

I talked about not wanting him to choose a job just to pay for schooling; which I think shocked some parents, whose priorities are much more academic than mine and would sacrifice everything for their children’s education.

After 4 months the hairy one got a job, but I said that it was just a contracting job so it wasn’t secure enough for Curly Headed Boy to stay.

I went back to doing the school run and realised that I dreaded it; what should be 20mins was a 1.5hr round trip in the morning and 1hr round trip in the afternoon.

Then as we started to talk about the fact that he might have to change schools my son started to admit that he wanted to change schools, because all he ever did was ‘work’.  Even football classes and P.E. were ‘work’.  He’s in year 1 (6 years old); I started to have big concerns about where the ‘fun’ was in his learning.

Just incase I considered changing my mind, one of the senior teachers was very grumpy when she discovered he was definitely leaving and they were losing a cheque.  There was no ’we’re going to miss your son so much etc etc, hope everything gets more settled for you soon and maybe we’ll see you back here’.

There was a choice of state school after all!

How ironic, after all that panic we had the choice between a small village school about 10 mins drive away with just one class per year and the local school Bomansgreen (2 classes per year in comparison to Radlett Prep which is 3 classes per year).

Remember the new head with a good reputation?  She’s not daft at all.  She did a resounding sales job on Curly Headed Boy, and so he picked Bowmansgreen.

So he’s just started at our local school in term 3 of year 1 and can now walk to school (unless it’s pissing it down, because I’m a wimp!).

He gets school dinners (it was packed lunch at Radlett), free morning snacks and encouraged to try different fruits in govt campaigns.  There’s loads more art, lots of time on the computer (maybe too much!), no drama but lots of music, and I got to see him in his school assembly with him dressed as a flower (oh yes, there were tears!)

Two weeks in and I can see the stress falling off my son, although Little Dimples seems unimpressed if her tantrums to and from have been anything to go by!

There are some problems with fitting in with the kids and it is VERY different; but he’s pragmatic about it and we’ll tackle it.  His emotions have been very up and down with the nerves and excitement, but he is adamant that he is happier.

He might be a bit bored and ahead, but they have already changed his view of reading and he  is now reading books for fun, which I’m really chuffed about.

Most of all I’ve come to understand that I want my children to have rich lives, and that academic qualifications don’t necessarily create a full life.

So the story continues …… I’ll let you know how we do!

I’d love to hear if you’ve made similar decisions to move your children at any time?

I received an email from a Mum a week or so ago that reminded me so much of what many of us feel at times in our lives:

I feel like I’ve lost myself and really can’t do anything, be a good mum, work or even decorate our house which we moved in last year. I don’t really think I’m depressed, but just can’t find my feet. 

I got a little more information from her, and here are the cliff notes, which I bet many of you can relate to as well:

The problem is that those pink cheeks can easily descend into Rosacea, especially in the early years when I didn’t know much about it.

Now a days I manage my skin so well that no one would know how difficult it is, so I thought I’d share my top tips:

1) Avoid highly perfumed products

2) Be careful of aromatherapy products

3) Don’t let your skin get dry, . . . → Read More: Top Tips For Rosacea (red skin on the face)]]> I’ve got that typical Bristolian healthy pink cheek look, which along with my curly hair and mighty 5ft 4 1/2 inches, does have the tendency to make me look like a hobbit.

The problem is that those pink cheeks can easily descend into Rosacea, especially in the early years when I didn’t know much about it.

Now a days I manage my skin so well that no one would know how difficult it is, so I thought I’d share my top tips:

1) Avoid highly perfumed products

2) Be careful of aromatherapy products

3) Don’t let your skin get dry, always use moisturiser

4) Drink water

5) Limit your alcohol intake and DON’T binge drink

6) Limit the spicy foods

7) There are cover ups that can work well, like a yellow stick I once had from Benefit, I didn’t get on with the green tinted ones.

Always use SPF

9) If you go for thread vein removal, don’t scrimp, make sure you go to a highly experienced person, not just a beauty salon

BUT THE BEST TIP IS:

10) Buy Paraben Free face products.

I went from using loads of cover up on my face to just a tinted moisturiser after realising the affect of Parabens on my face.  Which saves time and gave me loads more confidence.

I’ve used Ren (Wash and moisturiser) and Arbonne (makeup), which are not terribly expensive, but not cheap either.

When my husband was made redundant I tweeted asking for advice about cheaper options (I’m so sorry I can’t remember the lovely beauty blogger that replied to me), and the guys at Purity sent me a big bag of stuff to try.  It has a morning range and an evening range, the combination of which really suited my skin and best of all the pots are only £4-£6.  You can buy it online or from Superdrug.  I’m not sure it would work for skin over 45, that might depend on you.  But I reckon it would cover teens to 45 easily.

I see so many Mums with Rosacea who don’t protect their skin and obviously don’t know that they could make a massive difference if they changed the products that they use.  It’s a shame because it must really dent their confidence levels and it’s not necessary.

So don’t put up with Rosacea and spending hours on cover up; just use products with less in them,

I’d love to know what you think or if you’ve tried anything that helped?

I’ve you’d like to see my Top 10 Beauty Tips on a budget, take a look here

First we went to see the family premier of ‘The Lorax’ by Dr Seuss.  I was unsure as I’ve never been convinced by Dr Seuss (I just don’t get what ‘one fish, two fish, blue fish, red fish’ is about!), so I haven’t read many of his books.  But the opportunity for face painting, balloon modelling and seeing a 3D film convinced me, so off we went.

Curly Headed Boy (6yo) was TRANSFIXED from beginning to end.  It’s a . . . → Read More: Review of The Lorax And Little Frankie And Benny’s]]> Last weekend I felt really chuffed because due to my blogging I was able to give the family a big treat.

First we went to see the family premier of ‘The Lorax’ by Dr Seuss.  I was unsure as I’ve never been convinced by Dr Seuss (I just don’t get what ‘one fish, two fish, blue fish, red fish’ is about!), so I haven’t read many of his books.  But the opportunity for face painting, balloon modelling and seeing a 3D film convinced me, so off we went.

Curly Headed Boy (6yo) was TRANSFIXED from beginning to end.  It’s a great story with really useful themes about taking care of the environment and trees, plus the power of marketing to make people buy anything including air.  Also he loves music, especially when it has a lot of guitar in it and there was loads of it in the film

Little Dimples (2yo) slept through out (how does she do that!), and couldn’t be convinced to wear the glasses.

I’ve always wanted to know what happens if you go to a 3D film without the glasses?  Well its all fuzzy, that’s what happens!  I’m not convinced about 3D; there were a couple of bits that were noticeable, but really it just made my eyes hurt a bit by the end of it.

I’ll definitely be getting the film when it comes out on DVD (but not 3D) and really recommend going to see it when it appears in the cinema’s on 27th July and am predicting a big rush on Dr Seuss collections and fluffy orange toys at Christmas.

So very contented, orange and excited we went off to a Little Frankie and Benny’s near Leicester Square on Whitehall Road, because we’d been sent a voucher to review them.

It was PACKED with tables about 1cm apart from each other, but then it was a ‘Little’ Frankie and Benny’s.

The kids had hot dogs which they enjoyed.  There is actually a Kids and a Junior menu which is really sensible financially.  But Little Dimples always wants want Curly Headed Boy has, so I couldn’t try that out!

They gave big glasses of apple juice which I thought was good because often you pay ridiculous amounts for a small children’s glass.  Plus they then brought me a small glass for my daughter, so that she wasn’t trying to drink from the big one.

The big hairy northern one ordered from the specials menu which I thought was good value to have 2 courses for £10.95.  Apparently he was sent the wrong wrap though, but there was no fuss and they stuck to the deal.

I had the scampi, which I’m always a fan off, and it was lovely with the cracked pepper.  I would have liked some peas or greenery with it; maybe I’ve been to too many Little Chef’s as a child!  I ordered a plain salad, but it came covered in sauce.  I’m sure they would have changed it, but I was hungry.

The kids loved their pancakes with ice cream, and hubby had a crumble.  My cheesecake was ok, but not worth finishing for the calories ;o)  There was something missing from the kids meals, so they gave us chocolate buttons.

Basically if you are looking for quick, family oriented, with really good service and friendly staff, then the Little Frankie and Benny’s on Whitehall Road is great.  I’m not a big foodie, and am pretty sure that connoisseurs wouldn’t be keen, but it works for a family and there are plenty of options (you can see their menus online and check it out).

Have you ever been to a Frankie and Benny’s?  I hear that some are not as good as others, so I’d love to know (you are welcome to link your blog posts if you wrote about it).

Are you a fan of Dr Seuss or like me did you not ‘get it’?  If you go and see the film, please do let me know what you thought.

‘Where’ve you been?’ you might ask?

Well I was over at Nickie’s place on the fabulous IAmTypecast blog discussing my predictions for the UK Mummy Blogging Community for 2012.  I didn’t post it here as I know many of my lovely readers are not bloggers.  But you might want to take a look, as some of the lessons to be learnt by bloggers in this coming year also work for other groups of people.

I love the Mummy Blogging community, and I think it has great potential.  But . . . → Read More: #BlogItForBabies and Predictions for Mummy Blogging in the UK for 2012]]> I’m sorry, I haven’t been here for a few days.

‘Where’ve you been?’ you might ask?

Well I was over at Nickie’s place on the fabulous IAmTypecast blog discussing my predictions for the UK Mummy Blogging Community for 2012.  I didn’t post it here as I know many of my lovely readers are not bloggers.  But you might want to take a look, as some of the lessons to be learnt by bloggers in this coming year also work for other groups of people.

I love the Mummy Blogging community, and I think it has great potential.  But what I pointed out is that in order to grow and survive it will need to mature and change.  I feel these changes coming on now, and hope that the bloggers embrace them with open arms.  If they don’t then it could mean the stifling of a great movement, as I have seen in other communities before.  Change always creates a bit of chaos, so there is bound to be upheaval, but it’ll settle down.

I described 5 potential directions for the current bloggers and there are some great comments from people discussing them.

Now obviously, some will move around from one to another, and there will be new bloggers coming along in future years.  However, I do think that there are going to be distinct ‘attitudes’ that bloggers will adopt.  Lets see, we’ll know in the next 6-12 months if I’m right!

I do actually have loads of tips for blogging or running your own small business.  Do you guys want me to pop them on this blog?  Let me know if you’re interested; otherwise I’ll just do more guest posts instead.

For the rest of the week I was supporting a blogging campaign which shows all the best of the innovative, far thinking and growth potential that I talked about in my guest post.

The mighty Mammasaurus who runs the blogging site ‘Love All Blogs’ is travelling around the UK this week for the #BlogItForBabies campaign to raise awareness of Save The Children Fund’s ‘Build It For Babies’ campaign.

Here is the official blurb:  Blog it for Babies hope to raise money for selected equipment for a delivery room in a healthcare clinic in Bangladesh. We would love for a  campaign started by parents who are lucky enough to be able to take their babies and children to their GP’s when they are ill to be able to save the lives of little ones in Bangladesh who sadly do not have the same chance.

If you would like to donate a pound, all you have to do is text XVRL71 £1 to 70070

On Mammasaurus’s arrival in St Albans the whirlwind that is Actually Mummy had arranged a tent, with stalls from fab companies (apart from the 2 companies who refused to pay up at the end of the day despite the price being agreed, getting free links from great websites and blogs, and all the free tips available, let alone the chance to get involved in the activities – sorry had to be said!).

There was an hours lesson with ‘The Rock Choir‘, free blogging/SEO/Social Media tips from top UK mummy bloggers, and we finished with my son Curly Headed Boy teaching how to dance to Justin Bieber’s ‘Baby, Baby’, check out our moves here (the little one is Little Dimples):

Those crazy bloggers finished the day with naked ironing; they’ll do anything to raise money for charity!

Now you know why I love the Mummy Blogging Community!  There are some amazing women in there and I’m proud to know them.

One of my biggest tips to looking after yourself and feeling sparklier is to look after your skin.

There is no short cut; Kate Moss is a good living example of how partying and not looking after your skin will catch up to you eventually.

However, you also don’t have to go as far as Gwyneth Paltrow and you don’t have to spend a fortune.

I’m really fussy as I have rosacea and therefore the products I use have to be Paraben free (you wouldn’t believe the difference it makes).  But luckily there are now really good value . . . → Read More: Ten Tops Tips For Beautiful Skin On A Budget]]>

One of my biggest tips to looking after yourself and feeling sparklier is to look after your skin.

There is no short cut; Kate Moss is a good living example of how partying and not looking after your skin will catch up to you eventually.

However, you also don’t have to go as far as Gwyneth Paltrow and you don’t have to spend a fortune.

I’m really fussy as I have rosacea and therefore the products I use have to be Paraben free (you wouldn’t believe the difference it makes).  But luckily there are now really good value products available which are much cheaper; e.g. £5 per pot, rather than £20 per pot.

I ALWAYS wash and moisturise my skin morning and night.  I do it without exception, because I had (or have) difficult skin; which then rewards me by looking like I have great skin.

I don’t bother with toning; cold water does that for me.

One of my biggest and cheapest secrets is to use a flannel.  That way I hardly ever have to use a face mask or scrub, because I get a gentle exfoliation every single day.

Another one is to go out for a walk or a run; fresh air helps as well; who’d have thought that going for a walk is better for your skin that going to the gym sometimes!

So to have beautiful skin on a budget make sure you:

1) cleanse & moisturise every morning and night

2) Use cold water instead of toner

3) drink water

4) gently exfoliate regularly (or use a flannel)

5) eat moderately healthily

6) always use sun protection (I like tinted moisturisers with SPF)

7) don’t smoke (sorry, but you’ll get wrinklier quicker if you continue)

count your blessings (stops the wrinkles looking miserable)

9) Use face products that have as few chemicals & parabens in them as possible

10) Don’t binge drink (red noses are not attractive!)

Remember your skin is your body’s biggest organ, so it’s worth looking after.  Glowing healthy skin is really attractive, and doesn’t need to cost you a bomb.

Do you have any tips you’d like to share?  I’d love to know?

Try out these tips and if they help, please come back and put a comment in to encourage other people.  You should see an improvement really quickly within a couple of weeks.

I was inspired to write this post by My family club, who have paid for me to write two posts about ways to save money.  They have a regular twitter party on thursdays with the hashtag #thriftythursday, which is jam packed with ideas for saving money.  This weeks being beauty tips, check out their 10 cult beauty buys for under £5.

I really recommend you check out them out, not just because they paid for this post and review, but also because I think it’s a great site.  It has tonnes of vouchers and discounts that you could then use to look after yourself and feel more sparkly again!

MOST importantly they have a competition where you would win an IPAD3 when you register!!!!

Yay you can now subscribe by email to my blog!!

Already subscribed?  Sorry, there is a slight problem …  I was very excited when I first managed this a few months ago.  But anyone who subscribed then is on the wrong feed.  Sorry!  Can you subscribe again pretty please?

Why bother?

Well otherwise you might miss some of the amazing tips I give, or updates on my life which are obviously crucial to your very existence!

If you haven’t read it yet and want to know why you might enjoy it, the main difference is that I . . . → Read More: (Re)Subscribe By Email To My Blog]]>

Yay you can now subscribe by email to my blog!!

Already subscribed?  Sorry, there is a slight problem …  I was very excited when I first managed this a few months ago.  But anyone who subscribed then is on the wrong feed.  Sorry!  Can you subscribe again pretty please?

Why bother?

Well otherwise you might miss some of the amazing tips I give, or updates on my life which are obviously crucial to your very existence!

If you haven’t read it yet and want to know why you might enjoy it, the main difference is that I don’t pretend to be a ‘parenting guru’ or expert.  I use the stories of my own life to show how by looking after ourselves, our families gain.

There are posts to …

Get you eating healthy, even if you are a rubbish cook like me,  lose weight without diets and bootcamps, exercise and give you more energy.

Get you more contented with more time and space, less money worries and more sparkle.

Plus there is loads on sex, affairs, bullying and so much more.

Oooh and of course there is the Q&A section where you can ask me for help, like an agony aunt column!

And remember, to let me know what you’d like to see more or less of and let your friends know about it.  I’d love to get to double my readership by the end of this year!

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However much we cut back, at some point we do have to buy stuff.

The hairy northerner and I cut our costs drastically when he was made redundant, really only buying the most basic stuff we HAD to buy.

But now he has a short term contract, we’ve started to buy things again.  Obviously, over the months the list of what we NEEDED and would really LIKE to have, had grown a bit.

So how on earth to work out what to buy, what to buy later, and what not to buy?

Here are . . . → Read More: My Five Top Tips On Deciding Whether To Buy Something]]>

However much we cut back, at some point we do have to buy stuff.

The hairy northerner and I cut our costs drastically when he was made redundant, really only buying the most basic stuff we HAD to buy.

But now he has a short term contract, we’ve started to buy things again.  Obviously, over the months the list of what we NEEDED and would really LIKE to have, had grown a bit.

So how on earth to work out what to buy, what to buy later, and what not to buy?

Here are my five top tips for making those financial shopping decisions:

1) Don’t underestimate the little costs

2) How many days do you need to work to pay for it?

3) Will it save you money?

4) What else could you have instead?

5) Does it mean going into debt?

1) It’s only little – but how much do little buys add up to?

It’s only a little cost right?  A coffee, a magazine, a nail varnish, a kindle book, an iPhone app, or one of those little £1 toys for the kids.  The question is though, how often do you buy it?  One of our biggest savings has been the removal of coffee and lunch from the big hairy northerner’s spends.

Whilst I was thinking about this, I was asked to take a look at My Family Club and review their website.  So I was really pleased to find that there was a handy little calculator which will help you with this (and probably give you a minor heart attack when you see the truth of these spends) and show you how much these things probably cost you per month or year.  What I really liked about it was that there was then a link to ‘Savvy Suggestions’, with lots of ideas that you might not have thought of when in the midst of a financial panic about what you could possibly cut out.

2) It’s a bit more – but how many days do you have to work for it?

If you are looking to buy something more expensive like a holiday, car or gadget, it’s worth thinking how many days it took you to work to pay for it in order to see if it’s really worth it for you.?

(I know you might not be working, but don’t take this as a guilty thing that hubby might have to work to pay for it – after all we all deserve payment and you are doing a great job looking after the kids).

You need to work out how much you take home after tax.  You could take your payslip and multiply it by 12 for this.  Or take your salary and multiply it by .2 if you are in the 20% tax band, .4 for 40% and .5 for 50% to get how much tax you pay and then subtract it from your salary.  You may actually take home less than this due to pension payments and National Insurance, but it will give you an estimate.

How many working days – if you work full time there are approximately 260 days (365 – weekends)

Take off 8 bank holidays = 252.

Take off your holidays – lets say you get 20, so you work for 232 days per year.

If you take home £30,000 AFTER tax, then 30000/232 means you are earning £130 per day,

Multiply by 5 and you see you are earning £645 per week

So an iPad is nearly a whole weeks worth, an outfit is probably a days worth, the average family holiday could be a whole months worth or more.  Remember that you have other things that have to be paid each month too.

3) It’s going to save you money?

Recently we have changed both our cars.  The change of mine to a Mini One convertible will actually save us money within 6 months.  The hairy northerner has changed his Honda civic to a Renault estate car, which will save us money within a couple of years.  But most importantly with him now contracting, we have protected ourselves from sudden big bills.  Plus we now have a car that we can try out our new money saving and adventurous idea of going camping.

But when we went looking for a tumble dryer we were more conservative.  A more efficient energy rating machine of type A would have paid for itself over 4 yrs.  BUT most warranties only last 5yrs, so we could have been buying another one by then.  Instead we went for one that was a type B, but with a great decibel rating that is ok in our kitchen.

4) What else could you get for the money?

So many times we realise after we’ve bought something that we would have preferred something else, or we are now in trouble because there is something else that we have to buy.  So  I recommend a glass of wine and sitting down one evening thinking of lots of things that you would love to do or things you would love to have.  After a while you can have a list, so that when a new idea comes up, you can compare it to the list and make sure you aren’t buying the wrong thing.

One of my best mates has just been told off by her bank for spending so much on holidays.  But her family love holidays, so it makes total sense to me that they keep going.  However, I did suggest that maybe whilst they also have a lot to do on their house, they don’t add extra expenses like private education.  It’s about knowing you, what you love and not feeling pressured into buying things that wouldn’t currently give you the value for money.

5) It’s going to require some debt?

Our rules are tough on this, apart from a house, I don’t want to be in debt for more than a season.  A season?  Yep.  Because, so many people I know, end up paying for something for 6-12 months or more, but don’t get that much value from it.  Hardly anything is worth being in debt for more than 3 months for.  So that’s my rule; if it’s going to take more than 3 months to pay for, it’s probably not worth it.

What do you reckon to my tips?  Do you already do something like them, I’d love to know?  Or do you prefer to just buy and panic later!

Don’t forget I have written a pile of tips on saving money and cutting costs which you can check out.

I recommend you check out My family club, not just because they paid for this post and review, but also because I think it’s a great site.  It has tonnes of information explaining lots of financial things that you probably think are really scary; like savings, pensions and mortgages and loads of tips.

The website has a really lovely feel to it.  It’s not overwhelming or dry, and it feels very friendly and helpful.  Best of all was that it really wasn’t difficult for me to find loads of things that I liked and could recommend about them (phew – because I now have some money to use points 1-5 on and decide what to buy!).

MOST importantly they have a competition where you would win an IPAD3 when you register!!!!