I reckon I know ‘How to be a good mother’.
Mind you I don’t reckon I get it right all the time.
But I do think I know what I did when I don’t get it right.
Ironically, I was approached for that Channel 4 program with Sharon Horgan on ‘How to be a good mother’. I was hesitant initially, and then they decided that I didn’t match the bill. I can see why I didn’t match it as none of my ideas would be extreme enough for them, which is what I expected initially. But it’s irritating too as I’m sure I do know how, and so I question whether Sharon (or her producers) really wanted to find out.
How can I be that arrogant you might ask? Dunno, but I am, so heh ho!
This picture holds the key. I look pretty happy and contented don’t I? Little Dimples is too. I’m at a work event, so I’m not just being a Mum at the time either. The key is; I’m being me.
That’s how to be a good mother; be yourself, because that’s who your kids want and that’s who they chose.
Don’t eat placenta’s because someone else told you to, unless it’s something you feel in your heart you want to do. Don’t breast-feed or formula feed unless it’s in your heart. Don’t home school if you’d hate it. Don’t stay at home if you’d go crazy. Don’t do crafts if you and your kids don’t enjoy it. Don’t cook using Annabel Karmel’s cook book if it makes your baby cry because it takes ages and then they aren’t interested. Basically, don’t be a freak who worries about what everyone else is doing, and makes decisions based from the worry/fear of the gut or the logic of the brain.
Follow your heart, that’s where your wisdom is. It’s a kind of balanced, centred place (not a sentimental gushy place). It’s there in us all, but the worry, guilt, fear and ‘grrrrrrrr’ means that we don’t hear it. You can get to it though ….
- Instead look after yourself, so that you are strong, contented, and know yourself.
- Spend enough time with your kids to really know them well too.
- Then you’ll be able to hear your own intuition and balance and juggle your needs AND theirs (not just theirs)
- Stop worrying about how other people do it and how much better their lives or their mothering is, and remember that the grass is never greener.
- Do a bit of research and get a bit of knowledge, but not too much; use discernment about what suits you and suits your kids
- Think about why you are lucky to have your life and appreciate what you have, rather than wasting time on what ifs.
That’s my answer anyway. What do you reckon? Do you really think your kids want someone else as a Mum, or someone trying to be someone else?