So, you are stressed, unhappy, discontented, dis-satisfied, miserable, unhappy, overwhelmed, down, depressed; and it’s been a while.
Your body is now rebelling and you are getting problems with your sleep, stomach, memory, exhaustion and aches and pains.
You’ve read all my stuff about what stress is with some hints and tips on what to do.
But you need some outside help from a professional, so where to go?
I’m going to give a brief introduction to some of the therapies that might help. They are all my views, based upon my experiences, so some people may disagree! However, the idea is to have a look and see which ones jump out to you as suiting you.
Available free from NHS if you can wait, or private.
Tends to be pretty cheap e.g. £40 per session.
Face to face.
But takes a long time.
Basically the idea is that you talk about stuff, so that you can dig down to find out ‘why’ you feel the way that you do. It is really useful if you aren’t sure why, and for some people just understanding can shift the problem.
The downside is that for others, they just get stuck deeper in the story of their lives and become more of a victim.
Cognitive Behaviour Therapy
Available free from the NHS if you can wait, or private.
Tends to be pretty cheap e.g. £40 per session.
Face to face or over the phone/skype.
I love CBT, it’s what got me interested in personal development in the first place over 20yrs ago. It helps you to tackle the thoughts that are running around in your head and look at life a different way. The idea is that by behaving differently we will get a different outcome from situations.
I think it is quicker, but maybe less deep and therefore if you don’t understand much about your thought processes/past it will be difficult to use it to get over bigger problems. Plus, behaving differently doesn’t always make people react differently.
Tends to be private and ranges from cheap to very expensive.
Face to face or over the phone/skype.
A coach is more focussed on the present and giving you goals that you can aim for and less about trauma’s from your past.
Be careful and thoroughly check their training and experience, as currently there aren’t any laws about who can and can’t call themselves a coach.
Some people use NLP (neurolinguistic programming) in the coaching, to help you. Simply put they look at how your language affects your mind and therefore your behaviour. I personally find it a little too orientated towards the mind. I prefer a more intuitive approach with a more feeling/heart centered objective. It can feel very manipulative, but it is’t without merit.
Normally private. Starting to get more expensive probably £60 or more.
You MUST get a well trained, well experienced hypnotherapist. But if you get one, this can be a quick method of going into the past and working out what is causing your pain and then dealing with it. Make sure that if they ‘remove’ a negative habit that they replace it with a positive alternative.
EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique)
Private. But can be cheap and you can learn it yourself. Probably £60.
I suspect the usefulness of it depends on the experience and intuition of the practitioner and how comfortable you feel with them.
EFT has been around for a while, but I didn’t become interested until recently. I think that it has settled down now and is a very well established option. The idea is that by discussing our problems whilst tapping on certain meridian points (energy points in the body), it reduces how upset we are about it, then we will be able to see things differently and find a new way of seeing our life or tackling the problem. It can be very light e.g. just looking at a headache, or go deeper into why.
The great thing is that you can learn it yourself and therefore also use it at home for smaller issues. I really recommend Nick Ortner’s book ‘The Tapping Solution’.
Kinesiology Based Therapies
Private. Much more expensive. But much quicker.
I learned a form of kinesiology 10yrs ago (Resonance Repatterning) which is very quick at dealing with people’s problems (I used to specialise in serious mental health issues). The body has a muscular on/off reaction which you can use to check what beliefs and problems you have. It’s great because it bi-passes your opinions and the potential biases of the practitioner, to make sure that you actually get to the ‘real’ truth really quickly. Then a healing technique will be used to ‘shift’ the problem and replace it with a more positive option.
There are several different options, some more structured than others. It can be a bit wacky, but very effective.
Normally private (dieticians might be free). Mid-priced around £60
It’s amazing what physical problems and some emotional ones can be resolved with the help of a nutritionist (better than a dietician in my opinion) or naturopath. The naturopath training is longer and more rigorous, but they are also more likely to suggest bigger changes to your patterns and they can suggestion supplements and herbs to help you out as well.
Never under estimate the power of a simple supplement, mineral, vitamin or herb. In fact if you start to take a few, I would recommend checking in with a professional to make sure that the combination you are taking is OK.
Private. Often after a long initial session, they can help you quickly and you only pay a small amount.
I’m a big fan of homeopathy, but it hasn’t worked well for me so far. You get a little sugar pill that is meant to redress the balance in the body and can help with emotional, mental or physical problems.
Herbalism has helped me a lot and is of course where modern medicine started.
Private. But normally cheap and you can learn it yourself. Probably £60.
Reiki is a lovely form of hands on healing where the practitioner gently touches or hovers their hands just above the body. It can help physical, mental and emotional problems. I became a ‘Reiki Master’ 13 yrs ago – it’s not that clever actually, it basically means ‘teacher’. I LOVE Reiki for it’s simplicity. But be warned, some of the people who do Reiki are mad as a box of frogs (in the nicest way!) and although it has improved, there is no standard teaching, so some people mix in other alternative therapies e.g. crystal healing and all sorts.
Please don’t jump to learn it straight away – take some time out for yourself first. If you do learn it, remember to focus on just yourself and your family first. Don’t run off to heal the world!
There are also other forms of healing. Some people are just ‘natural’ healers, i.e. they are born with or got the ability to give healing to people. Others are ‘spiritual healers’, which means that they believe they get help from other spiritual beings.
Private. Can be cheap if you find someone local, but expensive in salons.
E.g. Massage, Reflexology, Shiatsu Massage, Bowen Technique, Chiropractor, Osteopath
You could easily get a lovely therapist to give you a massage or reflexology session, talk through your worries and get a lovely relaxing treatment at the same time. This is a very viable alternative and helps support the body while you are stressed.
Demartini Method – this was the final therapy that I learned (I’m a senior certified facilitator). It tends to be more expensive, but very transformative and is based upon the healing power of gratitude.
Meta Medicine – a great method for discovering hidden reasons or potential events that had a hand to play in physical illnesses.
The Work of Byron Katie – A very simple method with just 4 questions, that you can also read about and use in your own life. I find that one of the questions reduces about 80% of my stress levels.
My advice is that we ALL need OUTSIDE help from time to time and sometimes our friends and family are not the right people to help us.
However, it would be unwise to ALWAYS rely on outside help as that doesn’t help to improve our self-esteem and sense of independence and self-sufficiency.
When picking someone to work with, they need to be strong enough to challenge you a little, otherwise you won’t be able to break out of your patterns. However, you need to have a good rapport with them and feel very safe and certain of them – that is probably the most important thing.
You are also looking for someone you appears to be pretty sorted, or at least more sorted than you are in the particular area of life that you are struggling with. It’s fine if they have experienced the problem, it’s just that you want them to be past it!
Another ‘rule’ is not to ‘overwork’ yourself. So don’t have a massage in the same week as a therapy session etc. Always leave time for you to adjust after a session.
I hope that this gives you an nice easy introduction to some of the options, therapies and alternative treatments that are available. You are very welcome to tweet/facebook me for more information or if you hear of a therapy I haven’t mentioned.
Have you used any of these?
Did you find them useful?