At the weekend I was pointed to a blog by a guy called ‘Athol Kay’ about making sure you still get sex as a married man by the Daily Mail; yes I admit it, sometimes I skim the front page of the mail’s website for fun or annoyance. I’m so going to have to blog about this guys site loads, because it was full of all sorts of ‘you must be kidding’, ‘really?’, ‘thats so true’ and ‘seriously no ones going to believe that are they?’. In general though, its a pretty good blog, very much written from a blokes perspective and in that bloke language that they keep hidden from us, if wise.
So it had me thinking? How many blokes were out there this weekend complaining that their wife doesn’t give them sex, who were so involved in the complaining that they didn’t take the opportunity that the Royal Wedding afforded? I bet there were tonnes who wouldn’t know an opportunity if it slapped them in the face.
Let’s run through all the opportunities that there were, especially if they went to one of the hundreds of royal wedding parties …
– Compliments: Tell her how pretty she is when she comes down the stairs in her outfit for the party. Compliments might not get you sex, but they will definitely get a warmer wife. Bear in mind though that they need to be accompanied by the right tone of voice and a fond/amorous look. Plus it’s not the same as telling her she looks hot in her underwear. She knows your a bloke, so that is kind of a given.
Make her feel appreciated:
At the party, unless it’s an out and out lie, tell her how lucky you are to be with her and how pretty/beautifully dressed/gorgeous/’most true compliment you can find’, in comparison to all the other wives there. She needs to know that you appreciate her and know how lucky you are to have her.
Sitting next to her during the ceremony and cuddling up would be bound to give extra bonus points. Plus being in physical contact, kind of makes being in contact later more likely. This doesn’t work from across the room with a drink in hand and all the other blokes making ‘guffaw we’re not very interested in all this girly stuff noises’.
Talking to her:
Reminiscing about your own wedding, feeling nervous on the day, the honey moon, joking light heartedly about the stresses (unless they were so bad they should never ever be mentioned again), will give her that warm romantic feeling.
Athol’s blog recommends a 10 second kiss, and as a big fan of kissing I’m in total agreement with him. Any guy who didn’t make sure he got a kiss in soon after the balcony scene was totally missing a trick.
Looking after the kids:
If your wife was really enjoying the wedding, then keeping an eye on the kids for her is bound to be seen as a big gold star. Plus a harassed, ‘been running around after the kids all day at a party’ kind of wife, is much less likely to fancy you later on.
Buying her something:
Some husbands might have even seen the opportunity to treat their wives to a new dress for the party, or some flowers, or a little something that reminded you of your own wedding.
Any husband who hit all or some of these was then bound to be seen in the light of a romantic royal prince, and be rewarded with a honeymoon night to remember (unless after all that he drank too much beer and passed out on the sofa, or managed to mess it up in some obvious way). Bear in mind you have to translate them to your wife’s language as well, so into what she likes doing or having; but they would be a good start!
So to the guys now hitting their heads and going ‘Doh’; don’t worry, but stop complaining and keep your eyes open as there are bound to be other romantic sure thing options at some point. There’ll be another wedding at some point in the next ten years I’m sure! I’m kidding. The lesson is to look out for opportunities, and to be really caring. Ironically, just as in other things in life, if you don’t really care about your wife and it is all about the ulterior motives, she is going to smell a rat and it won’t work. So the final important thing is that you really care about making her feel good!
I’d love to know from the Mums out there, what do you think? Would any of the above have worked on you?