Review of Extreme Self-Care By Cheryl Richardson

I know how tough it is to decide wether to read a book or not sometimes, so I thought I would review this lovely book for you by Cheryl Richardson.  You may get enough from these points, but if you like it, you might want to consider getting the book and working through each chapter over the next 12 months.

Here is my Facebook live video where I talk about why I decided to read this book and I cover each point in more depth:

Part 1

Part 2

  1. Where are you depriving yourself or over giving?
  2. Tell yourself you love yourself in the mirror 3x per day
  3. Be willing to disappoint people and be honest about what you do or don’t want to do
  4. Add rhythm and routine to your life, so it can flow more.
  5. Where can you let control and ask for help – she recommends a ‘things you can do to support me’ list.
  6. What is an absolute ‘yes’ and ‘no’ – reduce your To do’s by 30%
  7. Are you living or working in a soul nourishing environment
  8. Protect your sensitivity – reduce the noise & news if it affects you
  9. Take stock of your health and any actions that need taking
  10. Stand up for yourself
  11. What passion are you ignoring
  12. What is your first aid pack for when things go wrong?

If you have a question about this, feel free to pop a comment in my Facebook group ‘Step into the flow with the Mummy whisperer‘ and I’ll get back to you as soon as I can.  If you’d like a bit more help with brainstorming the changes you need and challenging your assumptions, then feel free to pop me a message to book a 1to1.

Exhausted Mums

Does it help to know I struggle too?

Exhausted MumsDoes it help you when you are shattered to know that there are days or big periods of time when I struggle too?

Does that make you feel better about it, and normalise it?

Or does it make it seem hopeless?

Practially speaking, the only reason I can write the tips I write, and the whole inspiration behind my book ‘Six Steps To A Sparkling You and Enjoying Being A Mum‘ was the fact that I have experienced the struggles that Mums have.

But I’m not sure that you want to know that I still have bad days? Or that sometimes I literally have to make myself read my own stuff to sort myself out?  Or that this means that there is no ‘permanent fix’ out there?  Is it more helpful to see a constantly positive image like Annabel Karmel gives?

 

So I’m having a ‘bad period’ at the moment.

Looking at the list below, it’s nothing major, it’s more the quantity.  If I write down everything that has happened it makes total sense that I’m knackered, shattered, overwhelmed, and not sure which way to turn.

 

1) Constant side of back, shoulder and jaw pain – improving, but had it for a couple of months, and haven’t been as often to the Osteopath as I needed to go because family life ‘got in the way’ (that old excuse).  So can’t run and get the escape I used to get and it’s affecting what little sleep I get.

2) Unreliable childcare – the lovely Nanny bets was ill, so the big northern one offered to cover my client sessions, then he couldn’t do it either.  I’ve literally stopped booking client sessions until I can be sure of my availability, and I’m frustrated by not having had enough time to publish V2 of my book with a paperback version and get on with my new book.

3) Unreliable cleaner – it was only a couple of hours a week, but it meant that I had 2hrs that I could play with Little Dimples or not do 1/4 of the weekend doing chores.  Don’t know what it is about me and cleaners, but I must have been through nearly 10 in the last 7yrs.

4) The journey to find a nursery – I must have been to every single one locally now, confusingly ranging from £14-£37 per morning.  I was hoping for a cheap option in order to reduce the worry about paying for nursery, but ended up in tears just before the Jubillee after a rubbish settle; they didn’t introduce themselves to Little Dimples and only spoke to her for 5mins.  When I asked how come they thought she would stay with them next time they just looked bemused.  I’ve found a great one, but it’s in the expensive list and I still have the settles to do.

5) I’ve missed my mum; I’ve pretty much sorted my grief i.e. I remember her without pain, but it’s the best times and worst times that I miss having a Mum most.  I’ve also not been chatting to my mates enough on the phone because I used to phone them on the way back from the school run.  Last week I found my Mums favourite cousin had died; he was 88 and I saw him last year and knew I probably wouldn’t see him again; but I’m still very sad about it.

6) Of course I’ve been worried about Curly Headed Boy changing from private to state school, and there have been times when the nerves and excitement meant he’s had a few massive meltdowns.  Little Dimples has not adapted to the new school run at all and I regularly have a screaming child on one of the trips.

7) I got a stomach bug, which left me exhausted and feeling nauseous just before the half-term.

8) I’m finding it weird adjusting to the northern one being a contractor as it means not taking a monthly salary and I worry that we’ll over spend.  Ironically he doesn’t appreciate the fact that I don’t want to spend too much, so it’s not a popular thing to be worried about at home.

9) I just don’t seem to have the time to get all the work, family and to do’s done and it feels like walking through thick mud trying to get anything done.  For example, we’re trying to work out what we need for our first camping trip, but the time it takes is ages (I’m making some Pinterest boards so that if you guys need help I can make it quicker for you).  We’re worried that we picked the wrong tent and went to see another one at the weekend, but the horror of the ugliness of them all literally had me in tears ….. yep that’s the other problem, I’m like a walking waterworks at the moment.  Plus I’m behind on all my health stuff – I need to see a dentist, reckon I need glasses and the old smear test reminder came through the other day.  Just looking at my diary to see where I can fit them in is stressful.

10) Little Dimples dislocated her elbow poor little mite which meant that there’s been very little sleep for a week

 

Oh and I forgot to say that a squirrel bit me! Evil squirrel!

 

So it’s nothing major really.  I’m just whining really, because there’s been good things or are good things to look forward to as well –

1) I have a small group of really great mates, and felt loads better after speaking to one of them last night.

2) I was really chuffed to be nominated as a finalist in the BiBs and the MADs 

3) I’ve been really lucky with treats for me and the kids from my blog, from a wooden trike, to visit to whipsnade, and outfit from Joe Browns for Britmums, an invite to both the Penn Festival and Just So Festival and a weeks holiday in Siblu france.

4) The big hairy northern one’s contract seems to be going well at the moment and there are possibilities that it will be much longer than thought.

5) I really enjoyed being interviewed by Danny Smith over at Radio Verulam and have got an exciting new project coming up with them in the next couple of months.

6) Curly Headed Boy has just taken up Tap and Street Dance, so there will be lots more time for me to get some writing done on my book before the summer holidays.  Plus, although it’s taking a while to settle in with the kids he’s loving the school and it’s making a big difference for him (more about that soon).

7) The nursery I’ve eventually found for Little Dimples looks really good and will take her straight through to school, with great gardens and lots of space.

8) I’ve loved the Jubilee parties, it was all great fun and felt very community orientated.

9) I’ve got a new pillow which has really helped and a new mattress arriving tomorrow.

10) I’m really looking forward to the discussion den I’m helping with about online negativity next week at Britmums live.  Getting together with a pile of bloggers is bound to pick me up.

 

I’ve done all the tips that I wrote up on how to get energy quickly and then got hit by little dimples getting hurt.  So I’ve also cried, as that’s good for us too.  I probably just need some sleep and some sunshine.

It’s just going to be a matter of writing a list following my Dump/Delegate/Do/Delay motto and slowly working my way through all the things and accepting that I can’t click my fingers and make it better tomorrow.

But I’m going to make sure it’s better in time for the summer holidays so that I can have a lovely few weeks with the kids – that gives me 5 weeks to get through the list.

 

 

Commit To Turning Your Life Around and Reducing The Overwhelm

Are you feeling stressed, overwhelmed, or on the brink?

Have you already fallen over the brink into depression or other mental health problems?

I’ve got a plan to get you back on the first step of enjoying being a mum more and turning your life around.  It’s a bit of an experiment, but worth a shot heh?

The idea is to get you to

  1. Work out your Top 3 Priorities
  2. Commit to them
  3. Share them with a group

So that you can get an idea of what other people prioritise in their lives.  It’ll show you how different we are and also give you ideas.

First step is to get you focussed on what you do want, which I call my ‘Life Priorities’.  These are mine ….

Then use that to work out your most important To Do’s.  These are mine …

The reason this works is because then you can use those to have more time, get more energy, make your house more comfortable and save money.  Hence working on things within your control and reducing your stress.  I’ve explained more about it here in my post about the Top 6 Steps to reducing the stress and overwhelm.

So to get involved …

1) Add a comment to this blog post with your email address so that I can invite you to Pinterest if you aren’t already there.

2) Then a comment with your Pinterest username, so that I can add you to the board.

3) I’ve added links to all the posts that will tell you how to

        • Pick your top 3 priorities
        • Use that to pick your top to do’s
        • How I survived my mental health problems
        • This post
        • My top priorities
        • My top to dos
        • A link to my book
        • A link to a video about my book
        • How to read a kindle book without a kindle (they are cheaper books)
        • A BLANK picture of a yellow sticky for you

4) Then you can either add your own pin with your top priorities and top to do’s to show your commitment or use the blank one and add a comment to it

5) Check out what everyone else adds, because it will help you to see how different we are, or maybe fine tune yours

 

Are you on board?  Here’s a blank one ready for you ….. Let’s go!

 

 

Please Buy My Book And Tell The Whole World About It!

I’M AN AUTHOR!!!

The Mummy Whisperer’s Six Steps To A Sparkling You And Enjoying Being A Mum’

I’m not going to be shy about this, I’m going to say ‘PLEASE BUY MY BOOK!’ and ‘PLEASE TELL EVERYONE YOU KNOW ABOUT IT!!!’

Why on earth should you?

Well, because it’s a fab little book packed with a big punch.  I’ve had 35 Mums (and a couple of grans) testing it for months, and ironically it’s made the most difference in their lives than any of my programs, despite being the simplest.  It’s like a ‘pick me up’ in a book.  Simple is beautiful after all!

Plus it’s only 99p!

Yes, you might not have a Kindle, but I bet you have a computer/mobile device/iPhone/Ipad that you can read it on!

<<Click here to find out how to read a Kindle book without a Kindle!>>

Plus, it’s not like the normal book written by a coach to give them credibility.  This is a book in series of books sitting in my head, that I’m going to write in order to help change Mums lives and change the way society views Mums.  It’s about bringing back common sense, listening to a mother’s intuition, the mother being the heart of the family, and Mums being important in this world.  Parenting techniques and guru’s have their place.  But not before the chance to help the Mum feel confident enough in herself to understand her own unique family set up.

But to be successful I need to hit a best sellers list.  That’s the facts.  To do that I need sales.  And Likes.  And Reviews.

Watch this video to get a flavour of the book:

What will you get from it?   

A way to deal with life when you feel stressed and overwhelmed, without having to actually change your kids, partner, work, house or financial situation.  A path back from the grey mundaneness of motherhood.

  • More Contentment
  • More Time
  • More Energy
  • More Space
  • More Money
  • More Sparkle
  • (And a free chapter on how to get healthy, fit and slimmer if you fancy it)

Want more info? See this description (or my side bar).

Here’s what a few of my readers have said about it … <click here for more>

  • Nickie O’Hara: it’s just the thing I could have done with when my kids were a lot younger.
  • Muddling Along Mummy: incredibly I’ve flipped myself out of a bad patch and into a good patch … Simple but effective.
  • Helen Redding: Easy to do and instills a sense of perspective.
Or BUY IT, like and review it on Amazon here.  THANK YOU!!!!
If you’d like more information about the book <click here>
If you’d like to buy it <click here> (UK) or <here> (US) or search for ‘Mummy Whisperer’ on your local Amazon site.
If you’d like to ask me a question please come and join my Facebook page.

Exhaustion Tips: Make the most of the surfacing emotions to work out what the problem is

When we are exhausted it does tend to also mean getting upset, grumpy, overwhelmed and unhappy.  I’m going to suggest that you make the most of it, and really embrace it for a moment for me, rather than get rid of it, or ignore it.

Why?  Because as Mums we often ‘cope’, and hide away all the things that we are not happy about.  But when we are exhausted they all come to the surface in a big messy pile.  In a way these emotions are not real, because it is due to our perspective being upside down when we are shattered.  But, it can also give brilliant insights about what is troubling us deep down and what might need a little look at.

So if you are feeling overwhelmed and exhausted, stop repressing it, and first off, have a jolly good cry (crying can be really therapeutic and unhealthy if repressed).

Then, find a way to get an hour to yourself: bribe a teenager, ask a neighbour, find a relative, use cbeebies, or sit down one evening when they are all in bed and turn off the TV.  Grab a cuppa, and then start to write …

How are you feeling?  Both physically and emotionally?  What’s upsetting you?  Who’s upsetting you?  There is probably a difference between the circumstances that got you to this tired place, and the people/kids/events that are upsetting you, so take note of both sides of the equation.

Get it all out and onto paper.  Atleast it doesn’t have to keep running around in your head now, because it knows you’ve noticed it.

I got a chance to do this at the weekend.  I realised that I was upset because I was judging myself harshly as a rubbish Mum (I still think this, because I haven’t dealt with it yet, but at least I know whats underneath it all, and something that we all often feel).  Plus I was upset with Curly Headed Boy, but it’s not such a big deal, it’s just that with him now 5 1/2 and nearly finishing his first primary school year, we need to make some adjustments in the rules and boundaries at home.  Plus, a pile of things that I had put in place to keep my energy levels up had all spectacularly failed in a few weeks, so there are actually some obvious things to sort out.

When you know what emotions, or physical issues or general life problems are at the core of how you are feeling you can start to make a plan …. which I’m going to blog about next week, so come back then!  Don’t worry, I’ll get around to how to deal with the more problematic emotional/mental stuff too.

If you find my weekly tips on how to deal with exhaustion useful, please let your friends know, and sign up for my RSS feed or my facebook fan page so that you don’t miss any. Plus, if you sign up for my email newsletter you will get a free life health questionnaire to give you some clues as to where your life is out of whack.