6 Steps To A Sparkling You

My book is FREE for 5 days only – BUY or UPGRADE

6 Steps To A Sparkling You
6 Steps To A Sparkling You

It’s here, it’s here!!!

The 2nd edition of my book is now available and it will be FREE from
tomorrow Aug 1st to my birthday Aug 5th!

I can’t for the life of me persuade Amazon to let previous buyers download the new version.  So if you have bought it before, GO AND BUY IT AGAIN NOW while it is free!

Tell ALL YOUR FRIENDS as they only have 5 days to get it free.

 

Buy it here (UK – it is in all other countries too)).

Or get more information on it here (there is even a video!).

Or find out why I wrote a 2nd edition here.

Read how to read a kindle book without a kindle here.

(Sorry the paperback version won’t be out for a couple of months).

 

This book is for you if:

You are a little stressed.

Or a lot stressed.

It will keep helping you over and over – just as it did for me when I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia.

 

It’s not another parenting technique book.  This is all about YOU, the mum.

When you feel great you will either know or find the way to deal with your family’s challenges much more easily.

YOU are the key, and YOU deserve to be happy and healthy.

 

UPDATE FOR PREVIOUS BUYERS

HUGE Apologies – Amazon are being complete *insert very rude word*. When I published the 2nd version, they said that I then had to wait 4 weeks for them to review the changes before they emailed everyone to say it had been updated.

Then I asked them to just allow it to be updated automatically and not send the email. No that takes 4 weeks too.  (It must be just a switch – argh!).

So I made the book free in the hope it could be repurchased because I found something on the internet that suggested it could be – but now that won’t work *very sad face*
It will be available in 4 weeks :o(

If you have an urgent requirement for it, then send me a picture of the book on your kindle and I will email you a copy.  mummywhisperer at me dot com.

UPDATE No 2 FOR PREVIOUS BUYERS!

YAY you can now update your old versions.  Go to your amazon account and ‘manage my kindle’ and you will be able to update to edition 2.

Phew!

 

6 Steps To A Sparkling You

More BIG News – The 2nd Edition Of My Book Will Be Available In A Week!

6 Steps To A Sparkling You
6 Steps To A Sparkling You

I’ve got some more great news!

The 2nd Edition of my book ‘6 Steps To A Sparkling You And Enjoying Being A Mum‘ is going to be available in a week!

Anyone who has already bought a copy will automatically get a chance to *upgrade (I love kindle!).

Remember you don’t need a kindle to read it.

It is still only 89p!!!

I AM going to put the price up though, so make the most of it.

 

Who is my book for?

Anything from when you are a mildly stressed mum, to the times when your life feels like it is falling apart.

It’s the kind of book that you can pick up over and over again.

(In fact that’s a hint to anyone who has bought it before – it’s probably time you read it again!).

I’m NO parenting guru.  I’m all about helping you to get stronger so that you can listen to yourself again.

You will get more:

Contentment

Health

Time

Space

Money

Sparkle

 

It worked for me

The book was created after Little Dimples was born.  I went through a tough time, where all the complicated therapies I had learnt really let me down.  I needed something much more basic, that didn’t require analysing my life to pieces.

Instead I found these 6 simple areas where I had the ability to control or change it and reduce the stress load massively.  I was amazed by the difference it made.

Ironically when I fell ill with Fibromyalgia I got to REALLY test my book.  I went back to it and followed my own advice even more deeply.  I improved on everything – my mindset (took much more care of myself), my health (really fine tuned my nutrition), my time management (dumped a pile of stuff), the house (made it work, even without me), finances (the big hairy northern one was made redundant again) and sparkle (I started to take regular time twice a month for ME).

It’s not just me, check out these testimonials.

 

Why 2nd Edition

I’m a bit of a perfectionist, and after all the first book was my first.  I felt it could flow better.  Plus I want it to work for ‘Every Mum’, so it needs to be exceptionally clear.  I didn’t get any complaints, but I wasn’t totally happy with it.

An Agent gave me a big telling off, because she said that she could tell I had stopped pimping my book.  I had totally stopped, as soon as I knew that there would be a 2nd edition, which was daft.  So rather than wait until Sept (the original plan), we are going for it now – and just watch me pimp it!

 

Your Help

Please let people know about my book.

Next time you are talking to a mum who is unhappy, tired, stressed, lethargic, frantic about the house, worried about money and not looking after herself, tell her to get my book.

That way you are helping her, and then helping all the mums that she tells.

I don’t want to slag off parenting techniques, as they have their place.  But let’s get more books out there that helps mums to get stronger on their own, rather than relying on a book!

And when you get a chance, EVERY review on Amazon makes a difference.

Thank you guys!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

*If you are going to upgrade, please be aware that the free chapter on weight loss will be gone.  That’s because I’m writing it up as a book, which will be available in 6 months.  But in the meantime, do not despair!  There is a lot more information on my ‘No Diets Or Bootcamps‘ pages than in the book, so you don’t have to wait.

Great books for mums

Books That Can Help When You Feel Overwhelmed Or Are Depressed

Great books for mums dealing with depressionCan a book help you if you are stressed or overwhelmed or depressed?

Yes, it totally can.  BUT it’s always sensible to mix being self-reliant with a bit of involvement from other people; so reading a great book doesn’t mean that sometimes we might need someone else’s help as well; wether that’s a chat with a mate, or a session with a professional.

There are some amazing books out there based on both solid theory and practical testing, which really work when dealing with emotional or mental health.

There are also some shockingly awful ones, that might sound impressive, but should be avoided with a barge pole.

 

What to avoid

Anything that mentions the word ‘Happy‘ – it’s not possible to be happy all the time, you will drive yourself crazy.

Anything that mentions becoming more ‘Positive‘ – although balancing ‘negative’ thinking with some ‘positive’ is wise, you can’t be positive all the time

Anyone offering world peace – yep, that’s not going to happen either.  Philosophically speaking, true spirituality/religion will match science; and we will always have a duality in this world of ours.

Anyone mentioning the ‘Law of Attraction‘ – at least 90% of these people don’t understand the full law and think that by focussing on what you want you will only attract those positive things into your life.

Anyone suggesting they can quickly or completely fix you and that you’ll never have to do anything about it again – yep, that’s just not the way the world works; they are probably actually very well meaning, but naive.

Books that really helped me

I have a HUGE bookshelf full of books on health, personal development, therapy and spirituality even after several massive culls.  However, a small number of books have been crucial to my life.  I’m listing them in order of reading, rather than priority:

Dr Phil Mcgraw

Life Strategies – He might not suit everyone, but this short, pragmatic, straight talking book was a real help to me a long time ago and I think his ‘rules’ help us ‘romantics’ to get a firmer grip on reality and how life actually is.

Byron Katie

‘Loving What Is’ – Byron created a method called ‘The Work’ which is 4 simple questions and brilliant at dealing with some of the stresses about how people behave in our lives.  I find it particularly useful from a Mum’s perspective and having only read the book (I haven’t had sessions from practitioners of ‘The work’) I can apply what she calls the ‘turn around’ to probably 80% of irritations.

Dr John F Demartini

Many books – this guy is my mentor, and I’ve studied with him for 10yrs now.  He has studied more than anyone else in this field and created a great methodology for resolving stress and trauma.  The most important part of his philosophy is the power of gratitude.  The only problem with his work practically speaking is that if you are a busy mum juggling many things, his books might be a little too complex and challenging to start off with.  They are definitely a good place to end up though.  If you are into what makes people tick, then I would go for ‘The Heart of Love’.  For an introduction into gratitude ‘The Gratitude Effect’ is great.  For a full on introduction to his methodology go for ‘The Breakthrough Experience’ (but expect to find it challenging).

Rhonda Byrne

The Secret – I watched the DVD, which I think is better than the book.  I would add a HUGE health warning to it as it has loads of all the things that I said you should avoid.  However, it was a brilliant pick-me-up at a time when I really needed one, and being a DVD it really gets the message across that there is a lot we can control about how we think about life.

William Whitecloud

The Magicians Way – I love the simplicity of this book and the way that it is woven into a story, which makes it subtle and recommended to re-read.

Julia Cameron

The Artists Way – I’ve only just started doing this, but one aspect that she recommends I’d funnily enough also recommended in my book (she calls it the ‘morning pages’, whereas I had a section about writing our problems down).  It’s a 3 month course you do yourself and is both therapeutic and also great for anyone who wants to improve the creativity in their lives.  Personally I would do it in a group or with a mate and not on your own.  A friend of mine who studied counselling for years said that she got more from this course than everything she had done previously, which is a huge testimonial.

 

Can Depression Really Go Away?

When I say ‘help’, what do I mean?  Do I mean, ‘improve’, ‘change’ or ‘fix’?

I was involved in an interesting talk about this on a Facebook group the other day (which inspired me to at last write this post).  It’s an interesting quandary; to give depression enough importance for it to be tackled and dealt with effectively, without giving it too much power and suggesting that it has to rule our lives forever.  Remember that the stats suggest that 1 in 4 of us will at some point struggle with our emotional and mental health, but there is a huge range a difference in the types.

The difficultly is that the symptoms of depression make it tough for sufferers to have the energy to get help.  Then they have to find enough energy to get the right kind of help.  It does often feel like a lottery as to who does and doesn’t get good help and can be a hard slog.  It can be a lot quicker to get help privately than via the NHS, but it can be a minefield to find a good therapist privately and understand all the different options.

So can depression ever really go away?  Or is that only possible if you have a lighter form of it?

From my experience both personally in my life and having specialised for a many years with helping people with serious mental health issues I would say the answer is neither ‘yes’ or ‘no’.

For some people the depression might be a fleeting thing caused by life events, which once they have received some help, will recede probably never to return.

For others of us who succumb more frequently due to habits in the way that we think and see life, we might have to have considerable help in the beginning, but over the years become more and more capable of managing ourselves and the blips; therefore only having to touch in with external help every now and again.  So it’s more that we learn to make sure we stay above the red line and know the warning signs of trouble coming so can get help more quickly.

For those were it extends to chemical imbalances, it is still possible to get it under control, but practically speaking there is more work to be done, and I’m not sure that standard treatment for mental health will really get people as far as some alternative therapies, which of course have the downside of being private.

So yes, I think at the very least it can be managed and improved, it might even appear to ‘go away’.  But I for me it doesn’t feel as though I could now go off and forget to drink water, eat healthily, exercise, and manage my life and thoughts carefully.  I don’t mind having to do those things as they have other benefits to the quality of my life, but I couldn’t stop.  Maybe in another 10yrs it will be different; I hardly ever remember that I smoked for 10yrs having been ‘clean’ for over 15yrs now.  Perhaps I will gain greater trust in my system to maintain itself as the years go by.

Whatever your particular situation, just remember that you are not alone, there’s nothing to feel guilty for, look after yourself physically as much as you can, get some help and don’t put up with sub-standard help or prejudiced attitudes.

If you have a favourite book that has helped you, I’d love it if you would post it below, or a blog post about books that you enjoyed.

Or if you try any of these books, please do let me know and if you have any questions about them I’m always here.

 

 

Top Tips For Reducing The Stress And Overwhelm

Survive a Mummy Breakdown

Here are my promised 6 Top Tips for beginning to turn your life around and reduce the stress and overwhelm in your life.

When Nick coffer (My Daddy Cooks) asked me to summarise my book of over 100 pages into 6 simple tips on his radio show it made my brain ache.  But this is what I came up with, because without these steps the others in my book wouldn’t have worked.

In last weeks post on surviving my mental health problems I explained how come I know so much about this and why I know that the MOST important thing is to take care of your basic physical and emotional health.

Other things have helped, but this is the first step.

Life is difficult, but before you try to change everyone else and your circumstances, you can make a massive difference by just looking after yourself.

There’s no ‘one’ immediate click of the fingers answer, but this will help to get you back ‘on the right track’ and reduce the stress and discomfort.  From there you can decide how far you want to change things.

So the steps are:

1) Pick your top 3 life priorities and focus on them, reminding yourself every morning what they are.

2) Use them to sort out your To Do list and save you time.

3) Connect them to looking after you health, nutrition and fitness so that you have more energy.

4) With that energy you can then declutter your house and make it flow or work better for you and the family.

5) And know what the priority for potentially limited funds are.

6) Thereby getting some sparkle and self-love back into your life.

I also know that it’s not always easy to do something, without someone helping you.  So I came up with an idea to help you COMMIT to a change of focus and SHARE IDEAS.

Are you up for it?!  Then come here and commit to getting involved.  It won’t be a big thing you have to do, but it will start to make a big difference.

 

Remember, don’t ever feel guilty about being stressed, overwhelmed or having some kind of mental health problem.
Don’t let your past affect your future.
There are tonnes of people out there who have also struggled, just check out these amazing lists of blogs from similar mums:
Once this idea is off the ground, I’ll do some more blogs on the next steps.  But first things first.
Got a question about it?  Ask me anywhere, Facebook or  twitter
Mental Health

Surviving Mental Health for #DoSomethingYummy

Mental Health

This post is being written as part of the blog prompt for #DoSomethingYummy  from Typecast which is the campaign for CLIC Sargent Charity for children with cancer.  I’ve picked the prompt ‘Something I’ve survived‘.  

Yummy Mummy Week is 10th-18th March, so if you haven’t had a chance to add your own post, you still have time. OR just donate a few quid.

I do hope that you will think about donating even a little bit to CLIC when you think about what those children and parents are surviving and dealing with.  This is a great practical charity, that does loads of things to help the families and help them survive the awful stress of a sick child.

 

I’m going to talk about how over my life I ‘survived’ a ‘nervous breakdown’, ‘suicidal tendencies’ and more recently some kind of ‘Identity/Midlife Crisis’ or ‘Mummy Breakdown’.

I’m really nervous of writing this post.  I don’t know why, as the stats show that at least 1 in 4 of us will have some sort of mental illness in our life.  Maybe it’s the fact that I’ve had a few experiences of it that bothers me?  Makes me sound a bit ‘unstable’.  I didn’t even know I was worried about it, until I tried to write about it.  Plus I’ve been very ‘lucky’ with the help around me and knowledge I had, so I think that I feel a little guilty.

The other thing is what on earth to call it?  Because I’ve been in the alternative healing or therapy world for 12 yrs, I never had to go the medical route, so I was never labelled.  I don’t want to upset anyone who has had a label and get it wrong; there are so many different types of problems with mental health.

I’m not sure that it matters what I call it though, does it?  It was definitely something I survived; just.

My first experience was more like a sudden ‘nervous breakdown’, probably on the verge of a full ‘mental breakdown’.  It felt like I was teetering on the edge of a black hole.  I was pulled back from the edge by fellow therapists in a Kinesiology based therapy.  So I just experienced the shut down of my body for about 6 months.

In my second experience I just didn’t want to be in this world any more and grew an unhealthy fascination with trains; i.e. suicide.  (I know that makes no logical sense, and also I should have thought of the train driver; but I wasn’t ‘thinking straight’).  This time I was even luckier, as I was trained in a much deeper form of therapy and my mentor was in the UK.  After 2 very tough hours he got me back to life and able to work through the baggage.

What ’caused’ these two situations you might ask?  Why does someone, as we often see in the media these days, just crack?

I suspect the stresses of the previous 30yrs had taken their toll.

I was very up and down in nature at the time.

My very unhealthy belief in something that was impossible was a huge part of it.

Ironically learning all those therapies can make people less stable for a short while.

Plus I wasn’t taking care of myself well; always pushing too hard.

And I didn’t have a wide spread of interests.

It’s proved to be true that someone who has a wide spread of interests is more likely to survive the vagaries of life, because although one area of life might have the rug pulled from under it, the other areas will be able to keep them stable.  I had given up a well paid job, moved house and lost a lot of my ‘identity’ or ‘personal power’ in the process.  So since then I’ve very carefully watched my beliefs, and got rid of most of my ‘baggage’ and tried to keep a broad range of interests.

But it happened one last time, because I missed on important part of the equation; my basic foundations, which is pretty typical for a Mum.

It kicked in a little a few months after Little Dimples was born, I’d had a health scare and things weren’t going well at home.  I became the most pathetic version of pathetic that you can imagine.  A friend politely described it as ‘losing my mojo’; you know when a mum goes ‘grey’ and starts to disappear.  That’s where I was and I was TERRIFIED; sorry for the capital letters, but it seems such a silly thing to be scared of, and yet it felt like a life or death situation.  I was scared that if I didn’t do something I was going to soon end up a half-dead shell of a Mum, who cooked, cleaned, did all the basics, but that was all.  It could be considered a ‘mid-life crisis’ because I was just over 40.  It wasn’t the fog of depression.  It felt paralysing, so maybe it was some sort of long panic attack or ‘Identity crisis’?  Maybe I’ll call it a ‘Mummy Breakdown’; i.e. something to do with being a Mum, not PND, and not life/coping threatening?

This time no one else seemed available to help me, and I wasn’t in a space to use all the techniques I’ve learnt.  So what to do?  Run away?; I tried that, it didn’t help.  Give up?; However pathetic, there is something a bit bloody minded about me.  At last listen to the cliches and practical stuff I’d been spouting off about about looking after myself and the basics of life; Bingo!

After nearly a year, on the 11/11/2011 I woke up and thought ‘F*** this for a game of laughs’ and started to sort my ‘Sh*t’ out and blogged as I went.

The cliches were surprisingly true:

Change Yourself To Change Your Life

I was stunned by how really simple things could make me feel a thousand times better, within just a few months without changing anyone else or any of my circumstances.  I didn’t even ‘do therapy’ stuff as I would normally have done.

All I did was change me and look after my health.

I sorted myself by focussing on the things that I did have control over, rather than the things that I was missing or had no effect on, and by looking after myself and my body; And so was born my book ‘The Mummy Whisperer’s Six Steps To A Sparkling You And Enjoying Being A Mum’, which maybe should have been called ‘How To Survive A Mummy Breakdown’.  I decided that the things I did have control over where my thoughts, how I managed my time, my nutrition and fitness, how my house was laid out, some of the finances of the house, and getting a bit of sparkle back into my life.

I wouldn’t say that my ‘journey’ is over; I’m half way through finishing writing ‘Losing Weight for busy mums without diets or bootcamps’ and there are a good 3 more books to come after that I suspect.  But I love to write, so maybe that is the ‘silver lining’ from all of this?

In the next couple of days I’m going to write up a simple set of tips to help anyone get started who is feeling stressed or overwhelmed.

If you are currently suffering from a mental illness it will help you too, but it depends on the depth of it as to how much you’ll be able to do without a external help from someone else; I’m not in anyway underestimating how difficult it can be to pull yourself out of it on your own.  Maybe the stars where just aligned well for me that day to give me a kick start?  So I’ve got an idea for that too for how I could give you a little kick start and pick me up, so come back next week to check it out.

Most of all I hope that any Mums who don’t take basic care of themselves will now understand how potentially harmful it can be.  You need healthy food, a bit of exercise and sleep to manage as a Mum.  Running around like a headless chicken, in a house that stresses you out, and not getting your budget under control can lead to so much stress that you will one day not be able to deal with it.

Think of your kids and start to think more about yourself.

I’d really love to know what you think of my post as it’s the most honest I’ve ever been about these three times in my life, so feel free to add lots of comment love!

 

** The picture at the top comes from an amazing australian artist called Craig Martin www.craigmartinillustrations.com


Hope for Mums with PND from a little black bear

I watched an amazing TV program a couple of weeks ago, and have been meaning to post about it for ages.  It was all about black bears in America, so it had big time cute factor.  But then it had the most incredible story about a Mummy bear.

I’m particularly fond of black bears having accidentally ended up on one of those ‘working’ holidays, counting acorns in Shenandoah Virginia for Earth watch (it’s a long story, we were meant to be picking up orangutan poo in Indonesia, but someone got kidnapped and their head chopped off the week before, so they sensibly moved our trip!) .  We saw lots of very unattractive deer (they aren’t like our cute english Bambie look a likes and they smell when you weight them), but hubby got a video of the cutest baby black bears climbing/falling down a tree).

Anyway, back to the TV program; A black bear called Lilly abandoned her cub, the kind of sad animal watching event which we often see, which ends up in sentimental music and them cutting to a sad picture without showing us the poor dead cub.  But this time the people involved couldn’t bear to see the little cub die, <big cheers> so they helped it along a little, so that it tried to survive on it’s own and then held their breaths with little hope of a happy ending.  Suddenly something AMAZING happened.  A couple of months later they found the cub back with it’s Mummy; They were together, playing, hugging and loving each other.  big tear shedding time!

Even more amazingly, the mummy bear had managed to re-lactate.  Now I’ve read about this care of the Breast Mates posts from the lovely Aly at Plus 2.4.  But I’d never heard of an animal doing it.  But there it was, clear as day, feeding the baby bear.  So it shows how even in the animal kingdom a Mum can change it’s mind and go back to breast feeding.

So if you are a Mum with Post Natal Depression, or even just feeling a bit knackered and wanting some time to yourself for a bit, I’m hoping that this little story might give you some relief.  It is possible to get over it and come out the other side, and your child doesn’t have to be damaged by the process.  It’s a ‘normal’ condition that even animals suffer from (i.e. feeling separate from our babies is something that many experience).  And when you overcome it, you can have a great relationship with your baby.  It’s only guilt (which the bears don’t feel like we do), which will get in the way.  Try to enjoy being back, and keep the image of a big black mummy bear rolling in the leaves with it’s baby.

If you are a Mum who has given up breast feeding and is now feeling that it is premature; for a start I don’t believe in mistakes, do don’t beat yourself up, but if you want to learn more, check out the breast mates posts for information on relactating.

The program was called ‘The Bear Family and Me’ on BBC2 with Gordon Buchanan a wildlife cameraman.  It all ended up happily, with the baby bear eventually building up enough fat to be able to go into hibernation just after all the others (it was a little underweight for a while), and with them surviving the hunters; phew!