One of the things that I feel would enormously transform our world today, is if as women, especially Mums, we stood together, allowing and embracing our differences, rather than pulling each other apart. Becoming a Mum has been the one where I most felt the judgement from around me, and most astonishingly much of it came from the Mums. Now, I know that whilst some were judging, others were appreciating, and that is the way of the world. However, I see ahead a potential where Mums learn in their security with each other to hear the wisdom of their own hearts, thus creating a strong foundation for their families to grow from. And here’s why ….
Whatever happens, we will always have different values. Thats the point to life, because nature would see no need for us to all be the same. It’s not wrong to be an attachment parent or a gina ford lover. They are just a matter of choices. The most important thing is that we as Mums pick options that work for us (and our families), rather than forcing ourselves to live the way that we ‘should’ do. There are going to be as many benefits and downsides to all of our strategies, so there really isn’t any need for us to feel better than the next mum.
Plus, if you think that a Mum is disconnected and uncaring because she uses Gina Ford, and it really bothers you, then check out the other areas of your life. You might not be a Gina Ford with your kids, but you are somewhere. Perhaps you are a tough boss, who follows a strict schedule and has clear boundaries with your staff. Or are you sometimes not present with your partner?
If you think that your local friendly attachment parent, is just weird and freaky and will produce a clinging child, then where are you creating the same thing? Do you have friends who are always texting or facebooking you? Do you find that your clients need to be in touch with you all the time and won’t let go?
I have followed attachment parenting, but not because I planned to do so, just because that’s what worked. I so planned on Max being in his cot and own room by 3 months, it’s just not the way we ended up. If however, I was a single Mum, having to go back to a full time job, I would totally have relied on a much more scheduled routine.
So what would I love? I would love to see Mums being true to themselves and what matters to them. And other Mums backing them up. Because we are a powerhouse that is needed in this world, and currently we aren’t doing ourselves any favours. Yes, we don’t currently have much power in society. However, if we change our own perception of ourselves and our value, then society will change the way that it sees us.
I’ve got loads more to say about this!!! Keep in touch.