We all judge something. But it’s different for all of us. Some of us think that we don’t judge, but then aren’t we just judging the judgers?
Have a look below. Am I a match for you? Which bits don’t work and which bits do? Some of the ideas below might be a little controversial if you think them through, or have I naturally attracted readers who agree? I’d love to know.
If I am a match, is it worth letting your friends know about my blog too? I want to make a big difference, but I need your help to be able to do it and get the message out there.
What do I love?
- Dancing; I’m not doing enough right now, but it’s my best form of exercise, gets that whole mind-body-spirit thing going for me. In the meantime, I make do with music generally, as it always picks me up.
- Going for a walk; again something that doesn’t get done as much as I like, but is definitely a quick way for me to settle myself
- Chocolate; well it’s just gotta be done!
- Anything that sparkles!
- I’m half tree-hugger and half computer programmer, so I like a bit of new age, as long as it’s backed up by some science
What do I tend to stand for?
- The mid-road; a balanced approach to life, little and often. I’m not much into extremes
- Being grateful for what we have got. It’s an old idea, but counting our blessings goes a long long way.
- There is always a silver lining, even if it is well hidden, it is worth looking for
- That Mums are the heart of the family, so always look to help to centre them first and help them to grow in confidence by being able to tackle their own problems
- Attempting to not look quite as knackered as I sometimes feel with a young family; weapons of choice are a tinted moisturiser, bit of lip gloss and anything that sparkles.
- That all Mums are doing the best that they can do
- That there are Pros and Cons to everything, so nothing can be completely ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ and there are no ‘mistakes’
- Parenting techniques have their place, but not as a first choice, and hardly ever as a complete solution that fits a family totally.
- Creating strong foundations and getting the basics right; like looking at nutrition before behaviour techniques, or applying something to your own life before passing it on, or taking time out to ‘be’ with your family even if it is just playing snap.
- I’m not into making people more ‘happy’, because its a misunderstanding and not possible. I’ll give you balance, so that you can find the happy and appreciate the sad. Life is always a two-sided coin, dark and light, up and down.
What drives me mad?
- Noisy eaters who don’t close their mouths; sorry, the snob in me can’t bear it.
- The word ‘toilet’, no idea why, it makes me whince, a bit like friends of mine do if we say ‘moist’! Of course Curly Headed boy seems incapable of any other word describing the bathroom!
- Mums having a go at other Mums without any attempt to walk in their shoes for a day, or give them the benefit of the doubt.
- Narrow mindedness and ignorance; in this day an age there is no excuse for not googling stuff or reading a book.
What are my qualifications?
I’m not actually a coach. I call myself a coach because that makes the most sense to people, but my actual qualifications are as a Senior Certified Demartini Method Facilitator (what a mouthful), and I was one of the first senior ones globally. What on earth does that mean you might ask? Well it means that my training was extremely intensive nearly 70 days of 12 hr a day courses (a lot more than most coaches), and I can do the practical more mindset based things that a coach can do, but I can also deal with the painful traumatic stuff that a counsellor can do more quickly. In fact before I started to focus purely on Mums I was specialising in relationships, mental illness, abuse and small businesses (an interesting mixture!). The Demartini Method has been around for over 30yrs, just not as much in the UK, but anyone who watched ‘The Secret’ (a NY Times best seller) will have seen my mentor on there.
I spent 13 years in IT, but soon went part-time after training as a Reiki Master 11yrs ago. I then trained as a type of Kinesiologist, and 8yrs ago discovered the Demartini Method because I was looking for something that would really help my clients and do it quickly. Over my career I’ve taught over 4000 people, done about 1000 hrs with clients, written 10 workshops, created over 6 coaching workbooks, and published a book.
Most importantly of course is the fact that I’m a Mum, with a 5yr old and a 1yr old, as I do think that being a Mum is important when giving advice to Mums. I’ve been with my husband for 22yrs, 16 of which we thought I couldn’t have children, but then suddenly Curly Headed Boy appeared, followed a few years later by Little Dimples.
What do I actually ‘do’
I work part-time, helping Mums enjoy being a Mum and become more contented. I created the ‘Flexible Family Solution’ as a 6 step system that can reliably help Mums tackle any problem or decision that they face, but still adapt to their uniqueness. Steps 1-2 are all about relationships, I describe it by saying ‘Go from Glaring to Caring: Cut out the shouting and bring your family closer for keeps’. Whereas Steps 3-6 are about the stress and overwhelm which I describe by saying ‘Go from Frantic to Fulfilled: Get rid of the stress and overwhelm and enjoy being a Mum’.
Because I have been working for so long I know what people will always need, so to make it more affordable and available I have created online web based programs for Mums, which they can either work through on their own, or more quickly in groups, or with additional intensive 1to1 help.
What would I love to have done by the time I’m old and tired?
Most importantly, I would like to still have a good close relationship with my kids. I’d love tonnes of happy memories about my time spent with them and to know that they love me, even with all my little foibles and that they have always felt loved.
I have been prepping them for 2 grand children each (good to get the idea brewing in them young!), so I get to relive being a Mum from the fun side of being a Grandma.
I would love to know that I had made a difference in the lives of hundreds of thousands of Mums. Sounds a bit Oprah Winfrey, but I can’t help myself. I have LOVED being a Mum, and I just want to share it with people.
Now for the really fluffy bit. I honestly believe that Mums and family’s are the most important aspect to making our world a different place. I’d love to be sitting on my bed, watching re-runs of Greys Anatomy, and documentaries about how suddenly there was a change in this world because a new generation of children were born out of the ‘family revolution’. They appeared to be more sure of themselves, and who they were, and had strong families with Mums who had managed to balance all the modern issues of juggling life and what the world thinks they should be doing. I’m going to have thousands of letters from Mums saying how much they have enjoyed being a Mum and that I helped them to get there. Potentially ‘pie in the sky’ thinking, in which case I will stick to options 1 and 2, but you never know ;o)