Do You Choose To Not Inconvenience Your Family?

I’ve made a massive shift recently and am now listening to myself a lot more.  I’ve decided that talking to myself might be a sign of madness, however as it works when I recommend things to my clients, it would probably work for me too!  So big in the Mummy Whisperer manifesto is for Mums to think about themselves FIRST (you know how they tell you to put the mask on yourself first to make sure that you survive and can help your kids).  But we can be sneaky things and hide where we aren’t looking after ourselves.

Now the first reason I overcame a habit of ‘not wanting to inconvenience the family’ was because of a sneaky and very clever trick by the people over at Blog Camp UK.  They got us to ‘pre-register’ for the London Mummy Bloggers Conference.  What a fab thing, because I didn’t think about all about the logistics and whether I could do it, I just thought it ‘sounded like a nice idea’.  When the invite came, I suddenly realised that I had no excuse not to go.  After all, it was just a day in London.  My lovely irish granny could come with me so that I could feed Little Dimples at lunch time, and they could have an adventure.  Meanwhile, Curly Headed Boy loved the idea of going to school with a gorgeous Mum who lives on the way to the train station (I’m going to miss you next year K, because you are fab, but also because he loves you!), and having a play date with his mate who lives round the corner (thank you so much C!).  I had a wonderful day, learnt tonnes, got the little grey brain cells going, gossiped a touch, and got very inspired about my blog and work.

So if you are thinking about one of the other blog camp UK days, do what I did; register and then work it out later!

This had an amazing effect on me.  My background is in something called the Demartini Method, and we have to regularly keep our continuing professional development up to keep our certification (I’m one of the only senior certified people globally; which is probably means I’m a bit of a teachers pet because I like doing exams/certification processes).  So normally I have to go to the states for to attend the advanced certification course, but as it happened the normal certification course was in the UK for the first time ever, a couple of days after blog camp.  I’d discounted it because of the expense, because it was 5 days, and because Little Dimples was so young and it would be difficult for the family.  Suddenly, I looked at it with new eyes.  By going now, I could save us a tonne of money, plus give us probably another 2 yrs before we had to go to the states again for it.  Plus due to my experience I managed to negotiate to only go for 3 days and pay a much smaller refresher fee.  So it was all change!

We all went in on the Saturday, and the kids had lots of fun with Big Hairy Northern Hubby and my lovely Irish granny.  Sunday and monday were a more chilled affair with the boys staying at home, and the Mums from school helping me out again (The gorgeous K, and this time E taking him to gymnastics in the very exciting car already full of 4 other kids).  I had a thoroughly lovely time; I got to meet a couple of old friends, lots of new people, and remind myself a little more about who I am underneath the Mummy outer shell.  Plus ironically, going for the ‘normal’ course, rather than the advanced one reminded my why I love doing what I do so much, and where I came from.  If I’d gone to the states my ego would have thoroughly gotten in the way and I would have gone in the advanced room, not the main room (there is only an advanced room in the states, not other countries), and missed out on this reminder of where it all started..

The only thing I didn’t quite manage is to explain the change of behaviour to the Big Hairy Northern hubby, who maybe needed a bit more explanation about how come I suddenly thought attending the course was a good idea.  It’s not that he wasn’t up for me doing it, but it seemed to confuse him a bit.  I think that sometimes we unreasonably think that the men will keep up with us when we change our plans and understand it as well as another woman might.  So next time I will remember to translate it better.

Meanwhile, the whole ‘inconvenience’ thing?  Well, yes, we were a bit knackered for a bit, but we got over it.  Curly Headed boy loved the adventure and time on his own with Daddy on the Sunday, plus has more confidence being with out Mummy (although I did get lots of cuddles on the Tuesday).  Little Dimples is now much happier on the trains, having disliked them on the first morning, and my lovely little irish granny has seen a pile of things in London that she had never seen before.

So I can really recommend inconveniencing your family once in a while; go on, what would do you good that you haven’t even considered doing?  We even experienced a package being exploded and a bomb threat with equanimity.  Which is weird, because there seems to be very little in the press about the amount of these going on in London at the moment?  But thats a whole other story.

3 comments

  1. What a great article. It sounds like you are very centered. DeMartini techniques are quite amazing. I am familiar with some of the techniques so I know you can work miracles when using them. How neat to have a network of support that you can call on, good for you. That might be a great subject for another article since so many of us don’t know how to put a support network for Mummy together. Sorry to hear about the bomb threats in London, bummer. Glad all turned out okay.

    1. Thank you Janis! Yes, I am particularly lucky with these Mums, and it’s ironic because I was very nervous or scared when I first met the incredibly yummy Mums at the nursery and now school; it’s a good example of why it’s worth keeping an open mind about other people and their views of you. My gorgeous irish granny I found with an advert in my local Co-op; I can’t recommend enough finding a local granny to help out if you don’t have family yourself!

      1. This is brilliant Lisa, you really know what works for you. Now the difficult question: have you told the hubby? ;o) You’ve given me an idea for another post!

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