The other day I was on BBC3 Counties Radio chatting to Iain Lee about wether you are ever to old to be a Mum.
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I’m and ‘older mum’
Living in Hertfordshire means that there are lots of ‘older mums’. Whereas when I fell miraculously pregnant with Curly Headed Boy at 36 I was considered ‘geriatric’ in Peterborough (I wasn’t meant to be able to have kids).
Falling again at 40 with Little Dimples, the difference in my body has been REALLY noticeable. Plus it’s been very tricky since getting Fibromyalgia.
But I’ve often thought I would have been a great ‘young mum’, awful 20’s-early 30’s Mum, and am glad that it happened to be later.
What did everyone else say?
When I asked on twitter and facebook, I was really surprised that the age limit people were talking about was 40. I was expecting them to be saying late 40’s as the upper limit.
Being the child of older parents
My mum was 43 when she had me (my brothers are 20yrs older than me). That’s not a problem in itself, apart from the fact that I was a ‘young carer’ for both my parents from around 5 years old.
Some responsibility and learning about empathy and taking care of people is good. The mistake they made was relying on me totally for things and not getting proper qualified help at times.
My Dad died when I was 20. I didn’t have an adult relationship with him.
My Mum died when I was pregnant with Curly Headed Boy.
They smoked, drank a lot, didn’t keep fit or eat healthily.
They didn’t make sure that someone else was lined up to ‘watch over me’.
There is no one on the worst days or the best days to call. There is no one who cares enough to listen to the boring, repetitive minutae of my life.
I’ve found the lovely Nanny Bets in Tesco’s who is like an adoptive grandparent for the kids (and gives me lovely hugs), and one of my brothers makes a big effort with his new wife.
Most of the time it’s OK. Sometimes it isn’t.
So yes, I do think that it is selfish to have children when you are older, if you don’t try your hardest to be healthy.
Of course, this is why I am ‘ME’. It’s why I’m so passionate about keeping yourself healthy. It’s why I’m so good at my ‘job’ as I learned so young. I wouldn’t change ‘me’, so why would I change this?
What do you think? Do you worry about it?
Or do you think that a woman has the right to have a child whatever age she is?
Even push the boundaries of science and have them when her body has gone into the menopause and she is in her 50’s?