Helping Mums Embrace Gentle Living & Easy Journaling

Video Wed: What to do and why not to worry if someone unfriends you on facebook

So there’s a new facebook, and all the pallaver that goes with people adjusting to the new stuff.  Please, before you run around madly worrying about privacy and facebook charging for things, check out this fabulous woman’s page called Mari Smith.  She’ll set you right and I can’t possibly add a comment to all the daft facebook panics going on at the moment!  (She gets lots of comments on her page from people sharing her stuff, so switch it from ‘Everyone most recent’ to just show ‘mari smith’ when you look at her page).

Right, rant over, on with the show!  Apparently there is a new feature where we are going to be able to tell that someone has unfriended us.  It’s not so new is it, because I can tell now that an apparent friend who once worked with me unfriended me, as her name looks different to me when she comments on my friends updates?  (If you are seriously considering unfriending someone, just unsubscribe to their updates, don’t be so obvious as to unfriend them unless they are really horrid; you’ve always been able to do this by having lists and only looking at the lists of people that you like lots).

Well I’m going to tell you why you never need to worry about supposedly losing a friend.  It’s because as one person is leaving your life, there is always someone else on the way in.  Always.  No exceptions.  It might not always be obvious because actually although they de-friended you on friday at 1pm, they were actually gradually going off you for ages.  So in the meantime there has been someone else, or maybe a couple of people who have been gradually getting to know you.  Have a think about it, you do have new friends don’t you?  Plus now with facebook, twitter and all sorts of online communities, it’s really easy to make new connections.  So there will be a new person.

Also, there is a downside to everyone.  Why are you glad that they have unfriended you?  Did you worry everytime they said they had achieved something that you weren’t as good as them?  Were they reminding you of a life that you no longer have?  Were they talking with lots of other people about how fabulous they were, so you automatically were assuming that you aren’t fabulous?  Were they moaning about life lots?  Did they basically take up time in your life, reading their updates, that you will never get back?

Plus they didn’t unfriend you because you are horrid, they did it because you remind them of themselves which irritates them.  There is also the fact that some people get really twitchy on facebook about seeing other people’s lives going well.  I can already hazard a guess at who is remaining my friend but unsubscribing this instant.  It’s impossible for you to appeal to everyone in life, the most you can achieve is 50%.

So next time someone unfriends you on twitter or facebook or even in ‘real life’, just pop this song on really loud, have a dance, stick two fingers up, and then keep your eyes open for new opportunities of friendship surrounding you.

(For my Kindle blog subscribers check out ‘The Human League Don’t you want me’ on Youtube)

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