Why do we want all our mates to be pregnant too?

A good friend of mine phoned me at the weekend with the surprising news that she may be pregnant.  My immediate response was to get all excited and be so chuffed for her.  I know that I am totally biased about the whole thing and have been crossing all my fingers and toes ever since I heard.  She’s probably wandering around thinking ‘oh my god’, as it wasn’t in her ‘plans for life’ at all, but at the moment I’m excited enough for the two of us!

Then I wondered, how come am I so biased?  I spent 16 yrs, totally at peace with the idea that I couldn’t have children, so I’m sure it’s possible to have a ‘complete’ life without them.  Yes, I’m pretty besotted now, but I do see the downsides:  the lack of sleep, gunk on your clothes, financial requirements, worries, worries and more worries, guilt, a few more worries, baby brain, oh the list goes on.

So many parents do the same thing, and seem to want everyone else to have kids too.  I remember when we moved into our first house on a new estate full of newly married couples there was a general pattern; lots of encouragement to get pregnant like the rest of them, followed by a jokey ‘now your in for it’ response once they had fallen for the idea.  Clearly, it wasn’t to be for me at the time, so we had dogs, and for a while I was definitely looking like I might one day turn into one of those mad old women with tonnes of dogs and cats!

Is it because we want our mates to be in it with us?  Yep, I can see that there might be a bit of that in there.  Perhaps we want to share it.  But it can so often go ‘wrong’ for people, so we might be suggesting that they try it too, and it will go all pear shaped for them.  I suspect that the fact that I so surprisingly fell pregnant and then loved being a Mum is how come I ended up being ‘The Mummy Whisperer’, as my heart goes out to Mums who feel frantic, stressed or distant from their children.

But I look at her life, and I know that she can totally manage all the downsides (mind you the dry clean only stuff might need to be put away for a while), and that she will end up with someone that will love her so completely.  I can help her navigate the dips and turns.  So what’s not to love?

I love the fact that you totally get ‘a clear purpose’ when you have a baby.  I had my suspicions about my friend a long time ago after a conversation about what she was going to do with her life, and there was such a big gap.  I mentioned that this is when many women get pregnant and she asked me if I thought that she might make that sort of decision suddenly out of character.  I totally lied and said ‘No, no, it’s not for you’, in fact with huge suspicions that it might just be perfect for her, but I didn’t want to scare the shit out of her!

Curly headed boy taught me how to BE.  First he forced me to BE, because he wanted to be held permanently for 3 months and breast fed for hours on end.  Then he taught me to enjoy it, and to make sure that there is always a little time in my day where it’s not about the DO, but just about the BE.

Then he taught me so much about people.  I have spent thousands on learning about human behaviour, and although children might be expensive, he was a hell of a lot cheaper.  He nagged me for ages to get pregnant again, which was a really good idea, and so along came Little Dimples.  She has taught me the value of time.  Seriously, I value every 5 minutes now.  I totally know whats at the top of my priority list, which is something that people have to search for in the personal development world for years (they call it ‘Values’).  Everything else has been gradually, and in some cases unceremoniously dumped.

My mate is going to be the best Mummy ever.  She’s gorgeous, independent, successful and clever.  She’s going to be able to teach that little mite all sorts of things about life, people, health, finances, and success.  She’s already got herself sorted financially, so there wont be the stress of working full time with a baby, she’s just got to learn to look after herself a little more.  But if she doesn’t that baby will make her stop and look after herself, so she’s definitely going to learn.  Oooh, I’m all excited again!

Do you get excited about your friends or encourage them to have children too?  Why do you think you do it?

Do You Like My Shiny New Blog?

I’ve been a bit quiet over the last few months, but it’s all going to change!  I’ve been busy learning, creating, learning some more and sorting out my business, thanks to the very helpful advice I got when I posted ‘Help am I deluded‘ back in October.  Basically everyone was in agreement that although my products/services were good, I was a bit tosh at the whole sales and marketing thing.  (BTW, big apologies for not sending out information about the competition winner sooner, who is Rebecca: my ebook is winging it’s way to you now Rebecca!).

I’d basically been watching the X factor auditions and thinking, ‘Oh my goodness, is it possible that the reason I’ve not yet made a profit is because I’m c**p!’.  Some people may have been thinking I was, but they missed their chance to be rid of me ;o)  So off I went and signed up for a bootcamp program on creating and launching products.  Ironically, it was in the same online coaching system that I had just started to use (check it out if you are coach, I really recommend you think about using it, I’ve become an affiliate for it, because I love it), so I have had a taste of what it’s like to be a client of an online coaching program.

It’s been blinking hard work, when the creator  (Nicola Bird) said ‘bootcamp’ she meant it!  Very soon it did become blindingly obvious that my previous ‘launches’ were basically pitiful attempts.  I’d create a lovely workshop, book or service, pop it on my website and send a newsletter about it.  I always got some pick up, but never as much as maybe I thought the products deserved.

I’m using my Mummy Whisperer workshop as the basis of the program that I’ve created as that has been tried and tested over the last three years, but because there is a self-coaching package people can buy, I’ve added tonnes more information to it, and learnt more about videos, audios and lots more techie stuff.  If I say so myself, it’s looking really rather fab, I just have to stop polishing and adding to it sometime soon as otherwise the perfectionist in me will never finish!  I’m also learning about squeeze pages, email lists, teleseminars, joint ventures, oh and the list goes on and on and on.  Like I say, it’s now pretty obvious that I just wasn’t making sure people knew about my stuff.  If you want to see what the beta version looked like, have a look here on my youtube page.

With a baby I couldn’t do it all, so the gorgeous Violet Posy has helped me out with my blog (lucky thing I’d booked her in advance on a bit of a hunch as she gets booked up months in advance).  What do you reckon, isn’t it shiny?  It makes me a little hungry as it reminds me of raspberry ripple.  I’ve updated my main site to match, and am using my lovely new badges and headers everywhere, so I feel extremely posh!  I’m hoping that by having gone the self-hosted route, my blog will start to do better in the different lists etc (you are very welcome to recommend me to people in order to help out this process, pretty please).

Plus I now have a big PLAN!  I’ll be telling you more about it over the coming months, so keep in touch, especially as there is going to be a fab freebie as a present for you in January to kick your years off with a boost.

OOOH while I’m at it, if you subscribe to my blog via RSS, you might want to add this new feed (see the RSS button on the top right hand side).  I have added an automatic mover from my old site, but you wont see my new blogs otherwise.

So I’ve got another couple of weeks on the bootcamp, then more polishing of the program, and putting into practice everything I’ve learnt.  Wish me luck, because I’m hoping that my gorgeous shiny new blog is a sign of success to come in 2011.  But from now on, there will be lots more posts coming from me, as I love blogging and have put it high up on my priority list.  I’m also going to get the hang of the great theme that got installed and probably have a twiddle myself, so anything you would like to see added to the blog, please do let me know.  (Just seen that one of the menus gets cut off when viewing a post, but shows fine on the main page – so will be doing that sooner than expected!).