So one of the biggest worries for some Mums is whether their child is doing Ok in comparison to other children around them. Meanwhile, other Mums are full of the fact that they think that their child is better than everyone around them.
But neither of these is possible, and over a number of blogs I hope to show you that all your kids are AS GREAT, but NOT BETTER than each other.
First a story! I was on holiday, and Max (3yrs) was wandering around the dance floor, chatting to the other kids and investigating the snake, spider (uuurgggh), lizard and skunk that the family entertainer had brought in. A lovely Mum next to me turned round and said ‘Oh how lovely, your son is so confident. I look at my little boy who always holds himself back, and worry that he really is a tortured soul’. I looked at this caring, worried mother and said ‘But does your little boy sleep’? ‘Oh yes, I’m really lucky, he has always slept through the night, from a very young little boy’. My answer was ‘Well, Max hasn’t slept through the night in 3yrs, so now which one is the tortured little boy’?
All our kids will be mature, agile, clever, gorgeous etc somewhere. Just not in the same places. But if you add up all the places that they are ‘agile’ i.e. quick and secure in getting around, you will find that your child is as ‘agile’ as the next child. Perhaps more in maths or reading, than on the climbing frame. Or is your child really well behaved when out in social situations, in comparison to the other child who is considered really ‘mature for his age’, but hates a restaurant. Maybe their child is a few cm’s taller, but your child gets seen where ever they go because of their sunny disposition?
It’s wise to see your child clearly, as a lovely creature who has both things that they are brilliant and terrible at. If you worry too much, then you are not seeing both their wonderfulness and you are wasting time and energy. If you are proudly thinking that you child is better at everything, than others, then you will find a big and rather nasty surprise oneday, when you realise you were ignoring and not helping one of their weaker areas.
A child (just like us adults), just wants to be loved as we are. Not despite are ‘bad’ bits, but with them. So love them as they are, and don’t worry about how they compare. Because if you did a fair (and well investigated) comparison, you would see that they are all perfectly imperfect.