Things are so much easier now!
AND SO MUCH HARDER!
Philosophically I get that life is just different, children change, our challenges change, things aren’t ‘harder’ or ‘easier’, they are just different.
But I’m surprised how much more difficult it is.
Billie Piper talked about it his week (warning, that’s a link to the Daily Fail). I feel for her, but I do like knowing that ‘even celebs’ have the same problems; is that horrid of me?.
I LOVE seeing the kids together; I’m so glad I chose to have two, and there are times when they keep each other occupied.
There are also times when I need to step in before armageddon erupts.
It’s true that I have vaguely more clue about dealing with children now; hence it’s easier.
But of course being contrary she is so blinking different too; I even have to discipline them differently.
I don’t have as many ‘firsts’ to deal with, and know more about what to expect.
But I still have all CHB’s firsts as he gets older, plus keep my eye on the rerun with LD.
Meanwhile I have two children, so I’m very aware that there is less space for the big hairy northern one to be anything but self-reliant and self-responsible.
And I’m definitely more knackered.
Oh and don’t get me on the naughtiness. It’s not double the naughtiness, its QUADRUPLE!
Little Dimples was BORN with a naughty look in her eye. She encourages Curly Headed Boy to be naughtier, is naughty herself, teaches him new tricks, and then learns things that he picks up from school. OMG!
I’m struggling to work as much. It shouldn’t be any harder to work, as with CHB at school I have nearly the same amount of time. But I’ve had a big reality check over the last month and my plans/deadlines/ideas are all going to have to wait.
I talk to Mums with older kids, who explain that they thought they would be able to go back to work, but actually the amount of emotional support their kids need when at school has made it virtually impossible. So I’m expecting at some point to be less physically knackered and then have to up my mental/emotional game.
I take my hat off to Mums who have more than two; you don’t have enough arms for them or eyes, how the hell do you do it! You are what I would term ‘professional Mums’.
Have you decided to stick to one child? Or did you go for two like me? Or are you one of the ‘brave’ who has a whole handful of kids?
20 thoughts on “Is Having Two Kids Harder Than One?”
I alway find this kind of post interesting having a whole tribe of my own (5). Actually I tend to tell people that it’s not much more trouble than having two, although they can be a bit more noisy.
See @andy you are obviously a professional and natural at it … the rest of us are in awe!
Oooh, im a professional mum! Three is no harder than 2 really, but then 1 drove me to madness hence I have 3. Or something like that…
You are definitely a mad professional @claire!
I have two, and I don’t think it’s necessarily harder than having one, but it’s a heck of a lot more time consuming. With one I still had evenings to myself after the first six months, now my youngest is two-and-a-half and it’s not uncommon for me to still be doing housework at midnight!
Glad to know someone else has the same problem @geekmummy … but seriously housework at midnight? go to bed you numpty!!
I had two close together and the early months were both easy and hard. It’s much much easier now they are both at school. Thankfully Missy Woo is mostly a calming influence and Monkey is the whirlwind in both mind and body. Yes, they fight but they also kep each other amused quite a bit. I do value times when I have a decent time with just one of them.
I do love how they are becoming more independent as they get older (they are 6 and 7).
And school doesn’t make it easy to work! Anyone who thinks it’s easier when they go to school is lying – you have to be places at set times, the days are shorter and there are holidays to contend with! It’s definitely easier when they are at home and you can take them to a nursery, and turn up when you like.
@kate yes you are right, curly headed boy was at nursery a couple of days from 8-6pm and I could pack in loads of clients then – thank goodness I got them sorted and they don’t need me now, otherwise I’d be feeling really guilty!
I think it’s just different, sometimes easier and sometimes harder (I actually have 3 but one is much older).
@corinne yep, very philosophical – nothing is ever really harder is it?
I have two but they are nearly ten years apart. On the upside, this means the teenager can really help with the younger one (babysitting etc) on the downside, there’s nothing that meets both their needs at the same time other than the beach! x
@sarabran that’s a good plan having a baby sitter sorted – but I’m not having another one when I’m 48! The beach is good for everyone isn’t it … love a beach!
I am so glad I have read this, I totally agree with you I bow down to anyone who has more than two as I am having a major meltdown about my two atm! I love them to bits and am glad I had them but oh my somedays I do not know how I cope?!!
I think that you are physically exhausted @Sammie and the good news is that the physical bit does get easier and better as the kids get older …. remember ‘this too shall pass’. Keep in touch honey xx
Great post! Totally agree with you. One thing I’ve heard is that two is more than double as hard as having one, but once you get to three, four and on, it’s only a little bit more work. But the thing that no-one properly warned me about with two is that washing just mushrooms – as you say, it doesn’t double it quadruples!!? But why? I dont’ understand?? I think we’re stopping at two.
I have no idea how the amount of washing can explode, but it does – it’s like some weird universal rule! I think that maybe if I’d had my kids younger I would have had more, but I reckon I’m best of with 2! We were after all only made with 2 arms, there just aren’t enough arms for more kids ;o)
I had two children, now aged 30 and 28 with children of their own. They were the ones who wished I’d had more children, one summer holiday they came in from the garden, huffing and puffing in a great big sulk. I asked what was the matter, the eldest (obviously elected spokesman) replied, well, if you’d have had more of us, we could have played rounders! Yeh, right! We just had the number of children we could afford and house. It’s harder these days as there is more financial pressure, mums have to work and work hard to contribute to household finances and big mortgages. I take my hat off to all of you!
Thank you @Janet, it’s really lovely to hear that from someone who has been through it – so often the fact that it is a bit different (if also the same) isn’t understood.