How much should we be doing purely for ourselves every day or every week?
Lots, a Little, or somewhere in between?
I had a ‘discussion’ with a mate about it (thank goodness she is a good mate and doesn’t mind it when things get a bit heated). We very much disagreed on the answer.
She was all for Mums really keeping a sense of them self as a separate identity and doing things for themselves. She really disliked the idea that I encourage Mums to look after themselves because it’s good for the children and the family. My argument that once they got used to it, they would then do it for themselves wasn’t good enough she reckoned, because they weren’t doing it explicitly.
I said that that in reality it depends on the age of the kids, because as our hormones settle and the kids get older, we naturally start to separate more and ‘remember’ who we were.
I reckon that you can tell the Mums at the school gate who no longer have babies/toddlers/pre-schoolers, because they noticeably look after themselves more.
Plus, I worry that a Mum desperate to keep hold of ‘who she was’ can develop problems with connecting with her children, because it’s frankly not possible.
We aren’t the same after children.
We aren’t totally different either.
You know how I love to encourage Mums to ‘sparkle‘! But I’m realistic. I just think it’s important that they don’t forget to keep ‘sparkling’ and do a little bit, but the amount of sparkling kind of depends on the age of our kids, our finances and our circumstances i.e. how much support we have to give us time to look after ourselves.
There’s a huge time factor to it; little ones take more time, big ones take as much input, but less time I reckon?
I have created a totally unscientific chart to highlight the difference (notice the quality of drawing – I haven’t skimped a thing on it, apart from money and skill!).
So when we’ve just had a baby its a massive achievement to have a shower every day in the first few months.
Then it’s about going out for a walk and maybe meeting up with other Mums.
Some Mums will be back at work pretty quick, which can be a good bit of ‘time out’ and a chance to start to make ourselves look more presentable, but it’s a lot to fit in ‘me time’ too.
I’m not keen on worrying about weight loss for at least 9 months, or more likely 1-2yrs, but eventually we tend to have a look at what our bodies are doing.
Mind you, I’m finding having two kids much harder, so that is a factor too.
Reality is that ‘we can’t have it all’, in my opinion.
How much are you doing EACH WEEK to look after yourself? Nothing? 30 mins? 1hr? 15 minutes a day?
Are you naturally a ‘yummy mummy‘ so you have it in your mindset to take care of yourself?
Are you making the most of the support you have for baby sitting or getting the chores done?
What do you reckon is the VERY LEAST that you could be doing for yourself every week?
There’s a fab new linky on the Mums and Me site, which I bet you’ll love to read or blog about each week with ideas for having a bit of ‘Me time’. Go and check it out, apart from the fact that they have great taste (they quote me!), I think it’s a lovely simple idea.