So a few weeks ago someone made a very pointed comment about not liking a children’s farm that I like because it’s so ‘yummy mummy’.
Clearly I was being accused of being a ‘yummy mummy’ and not in a good way.
To be honest, I was kind of ‘why would you bother to let me know that you don’t approve of my choices’, but it made me think.
Me a Yummy Mummy? Really? Is it bad if I am?
Here is the Wikipedia description:
Yummy mummy is a slang term used in the United Kingdom to describe young, attractive and wealthy mothers. The term developed in the 2000s, and was often applied to celebrity mothers such as Liz Hurley[1] or Victoria Beckham,[2] who appeared to quickly regain their pre-pregnancy figures after giving birth, and would continue to lead carefree and affluent lifestyles.
The stereotypical yummy mummy was described by Nirpal Dhaliwal in The Times as having an existence “bankrolled by a husband working himself to death in the City, (dressing) in designer outfits… carries the latest must-have bag (and) whose hair and nails are perfectly groomed”.[1] A yummy mummy would have several children and yet remain a “girl-about-town”, dressing fashionably and appearing well-groomed and carefree.[3]
It was reported in 2008 that celebrity yummy mummys were contributing to levels of depression in young mothers, making new mothers feel “saggy, baggy and depressed” about their own bodies.[2
Let’s see …
‘young’ – hardly – I’m 42.
‘attractive’ – ooooh thankyou, I’m not worried about someone calling me that, but suspect you haven’t seen me in the morning.
‘wealthy’ – seriously you don’t know what wealthy is if you think I’m wealthy.
‘regained their pre-pregnancy figures’ – nope got a whole dress size to go for that, and really can’t be bothered to get into a size 10 jean, so it’s not going to happen.
‘bankrolled … husband working to death in london’ – actually it’s the hairy northerners choice to work there, I’d be happy to go back to Bristol and chill out a bit more.
‘designer outfits’ … do New Look, Next and Joe Browns count?
‘must-have bag’ – that would be an Alexa mulberry – nope, not in my wardrobe; but I am a BIG fan of handbags and got a lovely one in Accessorize last weekend to try to reduce my back pain.
‘hair and nails perfectly groomed’ – I’ve got curly hair, so there’s no chance of perfect grooming and my nails are glued on by me, because otherwise I find my real ones too tasty.
‘contributing to levels of depression’ – I would be GUTTED to know I’d made things worse for mums as the WHOLE POINT to what I do is to try and help them enjoy being exactly who they are.
Oh and no mentions of children’s farms with lots of simple indoor and outdoor fun for the kids – hmmmm.
I decided that I am definitely NOT yummy.
I live in St Albans. I’ve met yummy, and I am not dedicated enough to the gym to be yummy. I’d put me down to more ‘middle of the road’; neither yummy or scummy.
Then I had another thought …
I think it’s a really bad thing to give the impression that being a ‘Yummy Mummy’ is a bad thing.
After all, they are looking after their bodies and their health, and although there are bound to be a few selfish shallow women who put material stuff above their kids and husbands needs, I very much doubt that they are in the majority. Plus they might be ‘yummy’, but they are still human, with stresses, worries and feelings. Maybe different from ours, but I know that EVERYONE has problems in their lives.
So those against ‘yummy mummies’ are suggesting that it’s not good to take care of ourselves, eat healthily and do some exercise? Plus that we shouldn’t care what we look like or consider our self-esteem in any way. Aren’t all of us stay at home mums being ‘bank rolled’, in our own way, and why should we be made to feel guilty for it? Is it only right if we drudge away every day and never have a cuppa with a mate?
A lot of the celebs mentioned HAVE to lose the baby weight quickly due to work pressures. We should just count our lucky stars that we aren’t under that pressure. There are few with ridiculous ideas that the express in the media, but just as many who say balanced things. There are hardly any saying ‘you should do what I do and look like I do’; so isn’t it our fault if we are daft enough (oh yes I’ve done it too) to compare ourselves to them and feel bad about ourselves.
What do you think? Am I yummy? Have I made you feel bad about yourself?
Or are you yummy and proud? Scummy and proud? Or middle of the road and proud?
Is it all the fault of yummy mummy’s that we feel bad about ourselves, or do we need to work on our self-esteem?
Great post! I would have to say I am middle of the road myself. I too come from St Albans (well,Redbourn) and I’ve seen varying guises of mummys if you like: yummy mummys, middle of the road mummys and scummy mummys. I don’t think people should be made to feel bad for taking care of their appearance – I think the remark made to you was out of order – surely this person should be judging on the farm itself rather than the ‘yummy mummys’ that frequent it?
xo
Thanks Bex – I agree. I know what she means as there are quite a lot of hunter wellies there, but she’s not seeing the rest of the people. Personally I find it refreshing to have somewhere you can go, take your own food & drink and not be pestered to spend more money once your in! Plus my kids love the animals.
Ooh, a carefree and affluent lifestyle. I like the sound of it but I don’t actually know anyone who’s living it in reality! I’m happy to be classed as a slummy, scummy, crummy, or even a fat-tummy mummy, but yummy I ain’t! Silly expression anyway….:)
Little Dimples told me I had a big tummy last night :o( Looks like that will be my new nickname ‘big tummy mummy’ – damn that peppa pig’s Daddy!
To my husband I’m a yummy mummy (he’s also called me a milf at times but I think that makes me sound much older than my 29 years) though I don’t look or feel like the description of a yummy mummy – I’m just happy being a mummy regardless of how I’m perceived by others.
TBH as I’m nearing on 43, someone saying anything about me is ‘yummy’ is probably a good thing! Glad hubby thinks ur a MILF – that makes life easier ;o)
I just asked my husband if i was a yummy mummy, he laughed! I think it’s safe to say mums are mums, yummy, flumpy, bumpy and all the rest! Now if I could be slim, rich and go for a night out without baby sick on me I’d say that would have been me before the mummy part!
Love the ‘flumpy’ name – I might adopt that as my description of myself from now on!
Oooh I’m a Redbourner too Bex – and I dream of being a Yummy Mummy, however I am about as far removed from getting there as you can get!!! Slummy Mummy, Yes, Yummy Mummy, alas No.
You’re no where near slummy dafty! We should all go out ‘yummy mummy’ spotting one day!
Hmm ‘Yummy Mummy’- does it count if my male colleagues tell me I’ve now got ‘a great rack’.. I mean, it’s because I breastfeed, but still.. that counts right? *clings onto any sign of compliment no matter how degrading*
Lol yep that counts – take every compliment you can take is my motto! I’ve managed to keep the ‘rack’ I got after the kids – here’s hoping it stays as I’ve got quite attached to it!
I would hope I find myself in the “middle of the road” category too. Definitely not Yummy Mummy but definitely not scummy Mummy either. I consistently see scummy Mummy on the school run in her pjyamas and dressing gown…..morning and evening! not a pretty sight.. I definitely do have some standards – I won’t do the school run without at least mascara and a bit of lippy, and I do love my gucci handbag but yummy Mummy is for now a distant aspiration…. Maybe one day I’ll be a yummy Granny……
Blimey – PJ’s to school! Mind you I did go out in my ‘lounge pants’ to a blogging thing one night, but at least I wasn’t wearing my dressing gown.
I like the lippy rule – it works for me too, plus I still have that childish thing of liking the way my voice sounds more when I wear lipstick ;o)
I always take the term as a compliment (of course depends who’s saying it and in what context) but it’s usually girlfriends or people being sweet-you look very yummy to me ( in a good way) x
Thanks lovely – you look yummy to me too ;o)
I don’t think I care for myself the way I should, so I’m probably not “yummy” but I’m happy. I think the fact that we are mummies and are so lucky to share our lives with our children is all that matters.
Wonderful blog! Thank you!
Ahhh, a happy mummy is definitely better than a yummy mummy – well done you xxx
Never seen your blog before – just stumbled across it and can’t wait to have a proper read.
I’ve been pondering this subject this week, having been accused of being a yummy mummy several times recently. I am SO not. Although I had a horrified moment last weekend when my husband and my little boy and I were all walking down the street together and I realised that we were all wearing something from boden. gulp. COLD HAND OF HORROR.
The thing is – yes, I’m a SAHM, yes I’m slim (ISH – emphasise on ISH), yes I’m well spoken. but we’re skint – utterly skint – because I don’t work (well, I freelance – I may as well not work for all that that pays me), we can’t afford to do anything to the house, we live on baked beans on toast for the entire week before payday, I haven’t been to a hairdresser in 7 months and I’m a disgraceful housewife. i am so totally slummy. I must just not appear that way to the outside world.
Lisa that’s the perfect example of people judging a book by it’s cover – I think that’s what happened with me, just because I tend to like to cheer myself up with a bit of lipgloss & sparkly bracelets. Boden – oh how could you lol! I’m not a Boden fan, BUT – it has colour, it has pattern and it’s practical, so I think it’s a great idea for Mums.
Your comment has been running around my head ever since you posted it because of the baked beans. I wish there was something I could do for you? I’m going to have a read of your blog and see if I can come up with any ideas and say hi on twitter. The good thing is that baked beans are good for the kids – lots of fibre, so at least it won’t affect their health and you are doing well not to resort to junk food because many do as it’s cheap.
See I would say you were a yummy Mummy. Not because of the description you posted but because you are attractive, you are happy and you have it together (well you show the world you have). That in my book makes you a yummy mummy! Own the phrase and be your own kind of Yummy Mummy! Oh and I’m not a yummy Mummy, I’m a scrummy Mummy! (with an r!)
Well I think you are especially scRummy after saying I’m ‘attractive’. Love that title ‘ScRummy’ mummy, I think it’s a great alternative name for us all!
Great post, not really sure what kind of mummy I am, one that tries hard to be the best I can for my son. I think your smile makes you a yummy mummy, and yours looks fab x
Ahh what a lovely thing to say! Loved the pictures of you & the little ones across the top of your blogs. As a fellow scarf lover (how many drawers can I fill with scarves?) I think that must make you yummy too ;o)
Apparently I’m definitely not a Yummy Mummy. The leader of the local toddler group has come over to me a couple of times now saying that she had to get away from the yummy mummy clique and talk to someone normal. Wasn’t sure how to take that.
Arrgh Natasha – how irritating ‘your damned if you do and damned if you don’t!’ – I’d ignore it, bet you are yummy in your own way, and it’s the way that your friends like!
I’m sometimes scummy, mostly middle of the road, and rarely yummy 🙂
But I simply had to comment to let you know that family photo is stunning.
Liska x
Ahh thank you lovely Liska – one of my favourite places in the world is on a picnic blanket with the kids!