Brother and sister

#DoSomethingYummy: Can you love two children the same amount?

This post is being written as part of the blog prompt for #DoSomethingYummy  from Typecast which is the campaign for CLIC Sargent Charity for children with cancer.  It hit a note with me because just after Little Dimples was born I had a cancer scare for about 6 months.  The terror that hit me was immense, but there is one thing that I know would feel worse and that would be one of my children falling seriously ill.

Whilst I was writing this post I heard about a little 12yr old boy living near me who is suffering a rare form of cancer.  There is no treatment available in the UK but hope in Germany and the States.  Every little counts, but it’s needed FAST.  Here is his Facebook group and the article in my local paper with more specifics.  While he was in remission, this little boy raised £5000 for charity himself, so I’m hoping that he gets a massive dose of Karmic love back for him.  So far they have raised £21,000, but they need £500,000, so all we need is lots of Mums to give £1 or 100,000 to give £5.  Here is where you donate.

 

Many Mums worry about how they can feel the same about another child after their first.  How could you possibly feel that much love?  For me I felt that my love to Curly Headed Boy got even bigger when I saw how lovely he is with Little Dimples, and how close they are.  My brothers are twenty years older than me, and not close to each other.  So I hadn’t seen that sort of sibling love close up, and it’s really lovely.

I assumed it was obvious to him, but one day I asked my son wether he knew that I loved him as much as my daughter and I nearly cried when he shook his little head.  How could he not know, when I constantly told him I loved him and hugged him?  I was careful to repeatedly remind him afterwards that I love him and that I love him as much as my daughter.  I also remind him when she is naughty, that it was his idea to have another child in the first place!  (He nagged me for a year for a sister; good thing she came out a girl!).

But it is different.  It’s the same amount.  But it’s a different feeling, and they have had different effects on my life.

Curly Headed Boy is my soul mate, its a deep intense love, and he has been a guide to me about who I am and what I want to be in this life.

Little Dimples is my sweetheart, it’s a much lighter love, and she has helped me to get stronger in myself and realise what I love to do in this life.

(Some people might wonder where the big northern hubby might fit into this; he teaches me what I want to have in this life)

It’s a really amazing experience to go from technically barren, to falling pregnant at 36 without trying and then most of all discover that you love being a Mum.  It’s a huge part of why I do what I do as the ‘Mummy whisperer’, because I think I am so, so, so lucky to enjoy it so much.  I love my work, but I love my children more and I hope that I don’t ever have to face the idea of losing them.