NHS: Is it Fair That People/Children Without Choice Don’t Get Help?

My head’s disagreeing with itself.

It watched a program about the American situation with horror.  There are children without homes, and not getting anything to eat when they go home from school.  People are living in tent cities or storm drains.  It was like something out of the middle ages.  Of course, unlike us they don’t have the same degree of NHS and Benefits system.

Someone asked an American politician what he would do about a man in a coma without health insurance who would die without medical assistance.  The Politician said ‘but he made the choice not to have health care’.  So they pushed and said ‘So you are going to leave him to die?’, and again the politician said ‘he made a choice’.

I came away for the first time glad that our rate of tax is higher, and much more appreciative of our systems; despite the fact that at times I have wondered why I’m paying for a group of people (NOT all, just some) to do nothing and taking away their responsibility and ‘choice’ for sorting their lives out.

Then I watch a program about the growing problem of obesity in the UK and that the likelihood is that it will bankrupt the NHS.  This makes me think that America must be really struggling with it already.  For a start it infuriates me as no operation is going to educate someone or help them learn the skills they need to motivate themselves to take care of themselves.  Why don’t people understand that you can’t help people to lose weight with diet and exercise only?  Why don’t they realise that mindset and education are the most important things?  So I’m not keen on the operation anyway and am pretty sure that mindset, education and exercise could be covered for less than £50,000 (cost of the gastric band operation).

Then I hear stories about Bailey Sarwa, a 12yr old boy with Neuroblastoma cancer.  During his remission he raised loads of money for charity.  But now it’s back.  There are treatments available for him in America or Germany.  But ‘we’ don’t have the budget for it.  So his parents are desperately trying to raise the money for him.  Doing all the posts for #DoSomethingYummy over the last month has made me find out more about parents with children who have cancer, I can totally see why they are trying to pull out all the stops to save their son.

How can that be right?  He has no choice about being ill.  But the obese, alcoholics and smokers do have a choice.  How can that be fair?

My parents were alcoholics, my mum had lung disease from smoking, I smoked for 10yrs, I was overweight for years, my husband was overweight and technically obese.  I understand the problems involved in having an addiction.

But there is choice; Oh God, now I sound like that cruel American politician.

There’s no doubt that we know that over eating will kill us, infact according to new statistics, being obese is more likely to kill you than smoking or drinking; which is shocking.  There’s tonnes of information all over the media about nutrition, hell even Jamie Oliver tackled it!  So it’s no excuse to not understand the basics of nutrition.  Admittedly mindset isn’t covered much, and even the personal training world doesn’t focus on it much.

Would I have wanted my mum to have no health care for her lung disease?  My Dad died of cancer, which could have been associated with the alcohol.  Would I have wanted him to die at home with no pain relief?  Was I just lucky to learn the things I learnt about nutrition and mindset?  Am I being overly harsh on these people, and not thinking of them as ‘real people’?

Or is it the budget that is wrong?  Our governments (labour and conservative)  spend stupid amounts of money on things that make no common sense.  But the budget can’t be un-ending.  We all have budgets, so we know the truth of that.

Is it all about sacrifices for the ‘greater good’; the idea that sometimes you have to make a tough decision because there is the potential that any money spent on a child with cancer, might be ‘wasted’ because they might still die?  The cost of the treatment is really high, but there aren’t as many sick children as there are obese people.  Children have so much potential to give to this world.  Or am I just blinkered because I’m a mum?

I don’t have any answers.  I’d love to know what you think?

Are you as confused as me?  Or do you know something I don’t that will shed light on all this?

 

If you would like to know more about Neuroblastoma here is the link to ‘Families Against Neuroblastoma‘.

If you would like to donate to Bailey Sarwa’s appeal (every little pound counts), then you can donate here.

 

Brother and sister

#DoSomethingYummy: Can you love two children the same amount?

This post is being written as part of the blog prompt for #DoSomethingYummy  from Typecast which is the campaign for CLIC Sargent Charity for children with cancer.  It hit a note with me because just after Little Dimples was born I had a cancer scare for about 6 months.  The terror that hit me was immense, but there is one thing that I know would feel worse and that would be one of my children falling seriously ill.

Whilst I was writing this post I heard about a little 12yr old boy living near me who is suffering a rare form of cancer.  There is no treatment available in the UK but hope in Germany and the States.  Every little counts, but it’s needed FAST.  Here is his Facebook group and the article in my local paper with more specifics.  While he was in remission, this little boy raised £5000 for charity himself, so I’m hoping that he gets a massive dose of Karmic love back for him.  So far they have raised £21,000, but they need £500,000, so all we need is lots of Mums to give £1 or 100,000 to give £5.  Here is where you donate.

 

Many Mums worry about how they can feel the same about another child after their first.  How could you possibly feel that much love?  For me I felt that my love to Curly Headed Boy got even bigger when I saw how lovely he is with Little Dimples, and how close they are.  My brothers are twenty years older than me, and not close to each other.  So I hadn’t seen that sort of sibling love close up, and it’s really lovely.

I assumed it was obvious to him, but one day I asked my son wether he knew that I loved him as much as my daughter and I nearly cried when he shook his little head.  How could he not know, when I constantly told him I loved him and hugged him?  I was careful to repeatedly remind him afterwards that I love him and that I love him as much as my daughter.  I also remind him when she is naughty, that it was his idea to have another child in the first place!  (He nagged me for a year for a sister; good thing she came out a girl!).

But it is different.  It’s the same amount.  But it’s a different feeling, and they have had different effects on my life.

Curly Headed Boy is my soul mate, its a deep intense love, and he has been a guide to me about who I am and what I want to be in this life.

Little Dimples is my sweetheart, it’s a much lighter love, and she has helped me to get stronger in myself and realise what I love to do in this life.

(Some people might wonder where the big northern hubby might fit into this; he teaches me what I want to have in this life)

It’s a really amazing experience to go from technically barren, to falling pregnant at 36 without trying and then most of all discover that you love being a Mum.  It’s a huge part of why I do what I do as the ‘Mummy whisperer’, because I think I am so, so, so lucky to enjoy it so much.  I love my work, but I love my children more and I hope that I don’t ever have to face the idea of losing them.