So the big northern hubby got made redundant on monday, perfect timing with Curly Headed Boy’s birthday coming up, followed by Christmas and then Little Dimple’s birthday. Poor guy, this is the second time he’s been made redundant, last time it was when Curly Headed Boy was 6 weeks old, just after Christmas. Lovely!
So I thought I might as well start a series about what to do when you get made redundant, so that we can share how we deal with it and hopefully help all the other parents facing the same problem at the moment.
The great thing about my tips is that having experienced this situation before we really know the mistakes that you can make when being made redundant or when your partner is made redundant. This time it’s going to be really different, and hopefully by sharing I can make sure that it’s going to be different for you to. The plan is to save you time, heartache and money, and get you back working, where you would like to be asap.
First, it’s important for you to understand that it’s very easy to take this personally, but in reality if you work in London you are going to be made redundant at least once in your life, probably more, and if you work elsewhere then expect it to happen once. Maybe the a ‘job for life’ is over, but perhaps it will make ‘interesting job lives’ instead?
I’m not going to rant today. But I will say these two things:
- What comes around goes around
- Diversity is the name of the game when it comes to a companies survival and any company that doesn’t get that is stupid
- Wise companies will look at long term costs and find that retraining (skills or personal development) is cheaper than redundancies and hiring costs.
- Options are not always black and white. Sometimes it’s worth discussing with your staff what ideas they have. Maybe they would be willing to work less hours or be more flexible.
There we go, Onwards and Upwards! Here are the initial steps in the first week after the redundancy hits:
Step 1: Wallow
Go on feel rubbish for a bit. It’s important not to suppress it or ignore it. Just limit it to a few glasses of wine/beer and don’t consider actually taking any action against the people concerned. Also don’t accept any offers from people to sort out the people concerned!
Step 2: Put a specific time deadline on how long you are going to wallow.
If you are the partner, I recommend making sure that this is between 1-7 days and no longer. Listen to how they feel and don’t offer solutions until you are really sure. If they are willing to talk, help them to express how scared they are, before you start with the ‘there there, it’s going to be OK’ routine.
Step 3: Start thinking about all the things that didn’t work for you in the past job.
Write them down. (Writing is magic, you MUST write them down). Keep going with the list, as this will help you when deciding what you can or can’t face again in your next job. Plus it will reduce the feeling of upset. Be very specific, so don’t just say ‘the commute’, say ‘being squashed with loads of people, spending xhrs, smelling of london, miserable people’ etc etc.
Step 4: Write down all the things that you haven’t been able to do because you’ve been working:
E.g. exercise, eat healthily, talk to friends, read a book, watch a film, paint the house, tidy your paper work, DIY, write a book, sort out your photos, make something, play with the kids, read to the kids, spend time with your partner. This is the list for you to keep referring back to whenever you are down and to use to make sure that you get up off your butt and make the most of the redundancy. It is quite possible to not make the most of it and have weeks, months or years go by.
Ok, so that should keep you going for a while, more tips next week!
Remember, that if you fancy using this as a way of turning your life around, that my book ‘Six Steps To A Sparkling You’ is out on Amazon and is already a bestseller and ONLY 99p! Currently it is available as a kindle book which you can read on a Computer, phone, iPad or Kindle. But by the end of 2012 it will be in paperback too. It will help you to see life differently, become more contented, have more time, get more energy, sort out your house, manage your money and get more sparkle in your life. Maybe this is the perfect time for you to have a life makeover?
13 thoughts on “Dealing With Being Made Redundant When You Are A Parent”
I was desperately sad when Gary told me that his visit and your blogging for us at TEP coincided with with your hubby coming home saying that he had been made redundant. I too have been redundant but 4 times whilst bringing up a family of 3 daughters. This is an occupational hazard for senior managers like me as I am in the Construction business. The last time was 6 weeks after the company moved me to Tutbury from Clifton in Bedfordshire.
In 1999, I said that was IT! I trained as a management consultant after paying a goodly sum for training. I can’t say it was an unalloyed success for the whole time since, especially lately. I am certainly a more well rounded person in experience terms as I started an exec recruitment business with Sue my wife and another person in 2001 because I was fed up working in London, became an interim manager in 2003 working all over (so much for working near home as a life-style business) and now I do a bit of writing when I am not pushing hard as a member of the Tutbury EcoPower project.
My message to hubby is keep positive, keep trying and don’t think it is a stigma not to be wanted by your last company. Keep training – you never know where this could lead and it certainly helps. It also helps to have a good spouse behind you to keep you on your toes and not become a complete slob!
Best of luck hubby and mummy whisperer (keep whispering in his ear to keep standards up and how good he is)
Wow Thank you Phil, what a lovely comment, I will definitely pass it on the the big hairy northern one xxx
I am a HR Manager and have been meaning to write about this topic for quite some time.