Life is getting tricky at the moment. Since the big hairy northern hubby got made redundant, all I keep getting is messages about how it’s happening to loads of people. Then there are the awful stories about mainly men who freak out and kill themselves or their whole family just because they have gone down the financial pan.
So I’m going to get on my soap box for a bit, because there is no harm in making sure that you are strong enough just incase things go wrong. It’s like buying insurance and putting it in a drawer just incase you need it. In this case the insurance is all about taking care of yourself, getting stronger and enjoying your life as it is. That way you have the strong foundations to handle whatever life throws at you, and if life doesn’t throw anything at you, then you gained anyway.
I was where some of you are. I was trying to make life work, be a great mum, work, be a wife, and keep all the juggling going. But life started to get really hard for me when Little Dimples was born (the reasons really don’t matter, it’s just life), and for a year I got worse and worse, eventually ending up quite pathetic, very weak and terribly shocked at how I’d managed to get there. I wouldn’t really call it depressed, because I was able to pull myself out of it, but it wasn’t a contented place either, despite Little Dimples.
On January 11th of 2011 I woke up one morning and thought ‘F*ck this for a game of laughs’ and started turning it around. On November 11th of 2011 I published my book about it and it hit the best sellers list straight away; which is slightly freaky!
This time I did it the ‘right way’. Because I’m a ‘coach’ type person I’d often go straight to problem solving, therapy or personal development types of stuff. But I was in too bad a state to do that. So I started at the beginning with the basics. I blogged as I went, not always sharing how tough life was, but giving the odd hint here and there (you can see the blogs under the ‘sparkling you’ tab). Gradually I realised what I’d always ‘known to be true’, but I really ‘got it’ at last. A mum needs her foundations to be strong. They are the foundations upon which she will stand and hold up her family in times of trouble. They will help her support her hubby when he struggles. Most importantly they will keep her going. In many ways there is no point in doing the ‘clever stuff’ if the foundations aren’t in place, because everything will just come tumbling down. Frankly, thank God I did it, because otherwise the last couple of months would have been really crap; whereas instead they’ve just been challenging and I can see the possibilities in them.
So what are these foundations?
- Simple ways of keeping mentally focussed on what we wants in our life and what we are grateful for, so that we can feel more contented and less worried about what is lacking. Things that don’t take any extra time per day, and are practical to fit into a busy Mum’s life and help us to work out what our big priority is going to be.
- Sorting out our time with Dump, Delegate, Do and Delay according to what our priority is and making sure that there is time for other sides of life. It is so important to keep the rest of our life going, not just as mums, because that is our safety net when the shit hits the fan. You won’t believe the help I’ve been getting from the Mummy Blogging community over the last couple of weeks, to try and get my blog to pay more and take the pressure off.
- Getting Healthier and Fitter, because the body does an awful lot to keep us emotionally stable and give us stamina to keep going in the toughest times. My running girls are great, come rain or shine, someone is daft enough to come out with me!
- Organise the house so that there is space to breath in by de-cluttering and organising it, otherwise for many it can be a constant source of discomfort all day long. There is often so little time in the day, but there are ways of saving time and effort when the house flows well for the family.
- Sort out the financial mgmt so that it’s clear how the money is and will be spent. It’s not about blame, it’s about being sure what the situation is so that you can adapt if need be. I’m sure that you can imagine how important it is for us as a family now to know how we can cut costs quickly and easily, and we can only do that because we had a clear budget.
- Then add a serious amount of sparkle!
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