I was over at Radio Verulam with the gorgeous Dapper Danny Smith last month – sorry but I forgot to download the audio, so no dulcet tones this time!
Loads of people have been asking me about making a big life change, so I thought I would give some tips. It could be any big change job, relationship, house, country, anything.
I’ve made several BIG job changes in my life. I spent 13yrs working in IT. When I say ‘IT’, I’m not talking doing a little bit of light computing stuff. I’m talking proper full on programming and heavy duty stuff. I was even a ‘software engineer’ at one point – this requires wearing sandals and being REALLY geeky!
But then I started thinking I wanted to do something ‘more important’ with my life and eventually made the crazy decision to give up an extremely well paid job to be a tree hugging hippy and heal people. When I got more ambitious in the problems I wanted to heal, I moved towards more complicated therapy type techniques.
Suddenly I fell pregnant – as you know this was a big shock at 36, having spent 16 years thinking I was barren. After Little Dimples I found it harder to work, and wanted to shift my focus to just mums, and so was born ‘The Mummy Whisperer’ and this blog. Within a year, I was pretty much more of a writer than a therapist and loving it. (Don’t forget 2nd edition of my book ‘Six steps to a sparkling you’ is out now).
Of course now I’m going into very new waters with the opening of my hairdressing salon and spa in Battlers Green Farm, Radlett in October! This is not as random as you may think …. so read the hints below to see how I got here …
TIP 1 – Nature Never Throws Anything Away
So you want to make a change, but don’t know where to start? Look back. There are clues in your past.
Look for what you enjoyed, what you were good at, projects you did, qualifications, experiences, adventures.
If you are looking to move, think about all the places you have lived, or visited, or dreamed of. Where did you feel energised? Where did you feel calm? Where did you feel suffocated?
For example, I’m Bristol born and bred, and must admit to missing it sometimes. When we bought our house in St Albans, the view from my window is very similar to the view of the downs that I had as a child, so it was very comforting.
Draw a big squiggly line and plot all the big events and your ages, and look for patterns and clues.
Think about what you never thought there was enough of, or what you always felt was missing? That’s probably a clue to a passion of yours.
I was a ‘young carer’, so I was pretty much always going to work as a nurse/healer. My escape came from books, hence the writing. With older parents, I was often a bit lonely and watched people for hours from our balcony, hence being fascinated by human behaviour. My mum was a bit of a witch …. ;o)
Here you can have a bit of a reality check. Yes, there are people who are suddenly discovered at 25 to have the voice of an angel – but I don’t trust most of those stories! You actually do have to have an ability in what it is that you would love to do. So just because you sang a lot as a 3yo, doesn’t mean that you are going to be the next success story on the X-factor.
I’m not a hairdresser (although I clearly see the link between hairdressers and therapists), but our business partner is, and between us we have all the skills needed.
TIP 2 – There’s a pattern in your ideas
I got this tip from Oprah Winfrey 20yrs ago.
Get a notebook (I like pretty ones!). Whenever you get an idea you fancy write it in the book, then write all the Pro’s and Con’s – there should be as many pro’s as con’s if you have researched it properly.
Eventually you will see that there is a pattern in the things that you are looking at.
For example, maybe you are always looking at careers that are creative, or something with a bigger challenge? Perhaps all the houses you look at have big gardens and no neighbours, or do you love the idea of being surrounded by a community?
I chose to become a Reiki Master, because I didn’t want to go back to do a degree, but I wanted something with the potential to keep learning, teach others and work on animals too. I chose Resonance Repatterning (Kinesiology based therapy) because I needed something stronger when I started to specialise in mental health issues. Then I chose the Demartini Method because I felt fragmented and needed to bring my scientific side in to help with my tree hugging side. Now I’m embracing my more feminine, intuitive, creative side.
Tip 3 – Once you are enroute you can settle down
It’s horrid being unhappy. I totally get that. But DO NOT just jump out of it. That’s not the way to leave (apart from in extreme circumstances obviously).
Now that you are doing something about it, you know you are enroute, so something will definitely change.
Once you are looking, does it really matter if it takes 1yr, 5yrs or 10yrs?
Normally it is better to work through your issues with a situation, and come to terms with it before leaving. It means you are less likely to jump out of the frying pan into the fire!
Try not to jump to conclusions.
Just because you learn’t Reiki doesn’t mean you are going to become a healer – it could just be that you are going to use it to de-stress yourself and find something else. Plus there are all sorts of ways of incorporating your ideas. For example, I will be able to bring ‘healing’ to thousands of people with the hairdressing salon – I don’t have to actually heal each person personally. Just because you just bought a sewing machine, doesn’t mean you need to start up a business making stuff. Just because you write a blog, doesn’t mean you have to make money from it or sell a book.
Remember, some things in life are purely for your enjoyment, not to be turned into a career.
It’s frustrating when you know you are going but you don’t know when it will happen. But give the universe a chance to help you out, rather than pushing it – I missed out on a very helpful redundancy package because I pushed!
Tip 4 – Vision Board
I’ve been ‘revising’ all the stuff I learnt 13yrs ago and one of the most fun things has been creating a vision board with Melanie at Therap Healing. These are great for inspiring you with ideas, and then focussing you on getting them.
Basically, I spent a couple of weeks printing off pretty pictures of things and quotes that interested/inspired me. I knew it was likely to be something to do with my book/work, kids and getting healthier. So that was where I focussed.
Then it was off to Mel’s. We did a little meditation to help us connect to our wiser intuitive side (logic will only get you so far).
Then it’s time to stick pictures on our vision board, eat cake, and gossip! FUN!
Stick the vision board up somewhere for you to keep reminding yourself about.
This helps you to focus on what you want to achieve and can give some really amazing insights – like the fact that somehow or other I would like to have a place by the sea one day.
I remember 8yrs ago doing one of these to help me finish my weight loss off. I drew a picture of boots (you know how you can’t fit into normal boots when you are over weight) and also a pole, because I really fancied learning to pole dance. SIX WEEKS LATER a pole dancing class started up at my gym. Maybe not that spooky, but if I hadn’t put it on my board I might not have had the courage to try it (btw I believe all women should do a 12 week pole dancing class – it’s fabulous for the spirit!).
Tip 5 – Cosmic Ordering
Action is important. But sometimes worrying about HOW on earth you are going to achieve something, will just get in the way.
When you are clear what it is that you would love, you can literally ‘order’ it from the universe.
There is a great book by Barbara Mohr on Cosmic Ordering, which was made famous by ‘Noel Tidy Beard’ as my friend calls him (Edmonds) in his book ‘Positively happy’.
There are some thoughts which when I have them feel really ‘heavy’, they sort of bounce – I know those ones are automatically ‘ordered’. But you can make up any method you like to ‘order’ stuff.
You could write a letter to the universe and post it. Or ask the new moon for it.
No, I don’t think that ordering £1million or a Ferrari will work. It’s got to be something heart-felt.
But remember to enjoy today
Change is stressful.
Not changing is stressful.
Remember, it’s not about where you were, or where you will be, but the fact that it is all one long journey. Don’t miss today because you are worrying about yesterday or tomorrow.
What’s your favourite tip for making a change in your life?