Organising with a computer

Five Tips For Working Out How To Change What You Are Doing With Your Life

Radio Verulam's Drive Time With Danny SmithI was over at Radio Verulam with the gorgeous Dapper Danny Smith last month – sorry but I forgot to download the audio, so no dulcet tones this time!

Loads of people have been asking me about making a big life change, so I thought I would give some tips.  It could be any big change job, relationship, house, country, anything.

I’ve made several BIG job changes in my life.  I spent 13yrs working in IT.  When I say ‘IT’, I’m not talking doing a little bit of light computing stuff.  I’m talking proper full on programming and heavy duty stuff.  I was even a ‘software engineer’ at one point – this requires wearing sandals and being REALLY geeky!

But then I started thinking I wanted to do something ‘more important’ with my life and eventually made the crazy decision to give up an extremely well paid job to be a tree hugging hippy and heal people.  When I got more ambitious in the problems I wanted to heal, I moved towards more complicated therapy type techniques.

Suddenly I fell pregnant – as you know this was a big shock at 36, having spent 16 years thinking I was barren.  After Little Dimples I found it harder to work, and wanted to shift my focus to just mums, and so was born ‘The Mummy Whisperer’ and this blog.  Within a year, I was pretty much more of a writer than a therapist and loving it.  (Don’t forget 2nd edition of my book ‘Six steps to a sparkling you’ is out now).

Of course now I’m going into very new waters with the opening of my hairdressing salon and spa in Battlers Green Farm, Radlett in October!  This is not as random as you may think …. so read the hints below to see how I got here …

 

TIP 1 – Nature Never Throws Anything Away

Organising with a computer
Start them young!

So you want to make a change, but don’t know where to start?  Look back.  There are clues in your past.

Look for what you enjoyed, what you were good at, projects you did, qualifications, experiences, adventures.

If you are looking to move, think about all the places you have lived, or visited, or dreamed of.  Where did you feel energised?  Where did you feel calm?  Where did you feel suffocated?

For example, I’m Bristol born and bred, and must admit to missing it sometimes.  When we bought our house in St Albans, the view from my window is very similar to the view of the downs that I had as a child, so it was very comforting.

Draw a big squiggly line and plot all the big events and your ages, and look for patterns and clues.

Think about what you never thought there was enough of, or what you always felt was missing?  That’s probably a clue to a passion of yours.

I was a ‘young carer’, so I was pretty much always going to work as a nurse/healer.  My escape came from books, hence the writing.  With older parents, I was often a bit lonely and watched people for hours from our balcony, hence being fascinated by human behaviour.  My mum was a bit of a witch …. ;o)

Here you can have a bit of a reality check.  Yes, there are people who are suddenly discovered at 25 to have the voice of an angel – but I don’t trust most of those stories!  You actually do have to have an ability in what it is that you would love to do.  So just because you sang a lot as a 3yo, doesn’t mean that you are going to be the next success story on the X-factor.

I’m not a hairdresser (although I clearly see the link between hairdressers and therapists), but our business partner is, and between us we have all the skills needed.

 

TIP 2 – There’s a pattern in your ideas

notebook
I love a notebook

I got this tip from Oprah Winfrey 20yrs ago.

Get a notebook (I like pretty ones!).  Whenever you get an idea you fancy write it in the book, then write all the Pro’s and Con’s – there should be as many pro’s as con’s if you have researched it properly.

Eventually you will see that there is a pattern in the things that you are looking at.

For example, maybe you are always looking at careers that are creative, or something with a bigger challenge?  Perhaps all the houses you look at have big gardens and no neighbours, or do you love the idea of being surrounded by a community?

I chose to become a Reiki Master, because I didn’t want to go back to do a degree, but I wanted something with the potential to keep learning, teach others and work on animals too.  I chose Resonance Repatterning (Kinesiology based therapy) because I needed something stronger when I started to specialise in mental health issues.  Then I chose the Demartini Method because I felt fragmented and needed to bring my scientific side in to help with my tree hugging side.  Now I’m embracing my more feminine, intuitive, creative side.

 

 

Tip 3 – Once you are enroute you can settle down

Family gap year
Travelling the world in a motorhome

It’s horrid being unhappy.  I totally get that.  But DO NOT just jump out of it.  That’s not the way to leave (apart from in extreme circumstances obviously).

Now that you are doing something about it, you know you are enroute, so something will definitely change.

Once you are looking, does it really matter if it takes 1yr, 5yrs or 10yrs?

Normally it is better to work through your issues with a situation, and come to terms with it before leaving.  It means you are less likely to jump out of the frying pan into the fire!

Try not to jump to conclusions.

Just because you learn’t Reiki doesn’t mean you are going to become a healer – it could just be that you are going to use it to de-stress yourself and find something else.  Plus there are all sorts of ways of incorporating your ideas.  For example, I will be able to bring ‘healing’ to thousands of people with the hairdressing salon – I don’t have to actually heal each person personally.  Just because you just bought a sewing machine, doesn’t mean you need to start up a business making stuff.  Just because you write a blog, doesn’t mean you have to make money from it or sell a book.

Remember, some things in life are purely for your enjoyment, not to be turned into a career.

It’s frustrating when you know you are going but you don’t know when it will happen.  But give the universe a chance to help you out, rather than pushing it – I missed out on a very helpful redundancy package because I pushed!

 

Tip 4 – Vision Board

content
content

I’ve been ‘revising’ all the stuff I learnt 13yrs ago and one of the most fun things has been creating a vision board with Melanie at Therap Healing.  These are great for inspiring you with ideas, and then focussing you on getting them.

Basically, I spent a couple of weeks printing off pretty pictures of things and quotes that interested/inspired me.  I knew it was likely to be something to do with my book/work, kids and getting healthier.  So that was where I focussed.

Then it was off to Mel’s.  We did a little meditation to help us connect to our wiser intuitive side (logic will only get you so far).

Then it’s time to stick pictures on our vision board, eat cake, and gossip!  FUN!

Stick the vision board up somewhere for you to keep reminding yourself about.

This helps you to focus on what you want to achieve and can give some really amazing insights – like the fact that somehow or other I would like to have a place by the sea one day.

I remember 8yrs ago doing one of these to help me finish my weight loss off.  I drew a picture of boots (you know how you can’t fit into normal boots when you are over weight) and also a pole, because I really fancied learning to pole dance.  SIX WEEKS LATER a pole dancing class started up at my gym.  Maybe not that spooky, but if I hadn’t put it on my board I might not have had the courage to try it (btw I believe all women should do a 12 week pole dancing class – it’s fabulous for the spirit!).

 

Tip 5 – Cosmic Ordering

Full moon is magic
Full moon is magic

Action is important.  But sometimes worrying about HOW on earth you are going to achieve something, will just get in the way.

When you are clear what it is that you would love, you can literally ‘order’ it from the universe.

There is a great book by Barbara Mohr on Cosmic Ordering, which was made famous by ‘Noel Tidy Beard’ as my friend calls him (Edmonds) in his book ‘Positively happy’.

There are some thoughts which when I have them feel really ‘heavy’, they sort of bounce – I know those ones are automatically ‘ordered’.  But you can make up any method you like to ‘order’ stuff.

You could write a letter to the universe and post it.  Or ask the new moon for it.

No, I don’t think that ordering £1million or a Ferrari will work.  It’s got to be something heart-felt.

 

But remember to enjoy today

Change is stressful.

Not changing is stressful.

Remember, it’s not about where you were, or where you will be, but the fact that it is all one long journey.  Don’t miss today because you are worrying about yesterday or tomorrow.

What’s your favourite tip for making a change in your life?

 

 

 

6 Steps To A Sparkling You

My book is FREE for 5 days only – BUY or UPGRADE

6 Steps To A Sparkling You
6 Steps To A Sparkling You

It’s here, it’s here!!!

The 2nd edition of my book is now available and it will be FREE from
tomorrow Aug 1st to my birthday Aug 5th!

I can’t for the life of me persuade Amazon to let previous buyers download the new version.  So if you have bought it before, GO AND BUY IT AGAIN NOW while it is free!

Tell ALL YOUR FRIENDS as they only have 5 days to get it free.

 

Buy it here (UK – it is in all other countries too)).

Or get more information on it here (there is even a video!).

Or find out why I wrote a 2nd edition here.

Read how to read a kindle book without a kindle here.

(Sorry the paperback version won’t be out for a couple of months).

 

This book is for you if:

You are a little stressed.

Or a lot stressed.

It will keep helping you over and over – just as it did for me when I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia.

 

It’s not another parenting technique book.  This is all about YOU, the mum.

When you feel great you will either know or find the way to deal with your family’s challenges much more easily.

YOU are the key, and YOU deserve to be happy and healthy.

 

UPDATE FOR PREVIOUS BUYERS

HUGE Apologies – Amazon are being complete *insert very rude word*. When I published the 2nd version, they said that I then had to wait 4 weeks for them to review the changes before they emailed everyone to say it had been updated.

Then I asked them to just allow it to be updated automatically and not send the email. No that takes 4 weeks too.  (It must be just a switch – argh!).

So I made the book free in the hope it could be repurchased because I found something on the internet that suggested it could be – but now that won’t work *very sad face*
It will be available in 4 weeks :o(

If you have an urgent requirement for it, then send me a picture of the book on your kindle and I will email you a copy.  mummywhisperer at me dot com.

UPDATE No 2 FOR PREVIOUS BUYERS!

YAY you can now update your old versions.  Go to your amazon account and ‘manage my kindle’ and you will be able to update to edition 2.

Phew!

 

6 Steps To A Sparkling You

More BIG News – The 2nd Edition Of My Book Will Be Available In A Week!

6 Steps To A Sparkling You
6 Steps To A Sparkling You

I’ve got some more great news!

The 2nd Edition of my book ‘6 Steps To A Sparkling You And Enjoying Being A Mum‘ is going to be available in a week!

Anyone who has already bought a copy will automatically get a chance to *upgrade (I love kindle!).

Remember you don’t need a kindle to read it.

It is still only 89p!!!

I AM going to put the price up though, so make the most of it.

 

Who is my book for?

Anything from when you are a mildly stressed mum, to the times when your life feels like it is falling apart.

It’s the kind of book that you can pick up over and over again.

(In fact that’s a hint to anyone who has bought it before – it’s probably time you read it again!).

I’m NO parenting guru.  I’m all about helping you to get stronger so that you can listen to yourself again.

You will get more:

Contentment

Health

Time

Space

Money

Sparkle

 

It worked for me

The book was created after Little Dimples was born.  I went through a tough time, where all the complicated therapies I had learnt really let me down.  I needed something much more basic, that didn’t require analysing my life to pieces.

Instead I found these 6 simple areas where I had the ability to control or change it and reduce the stress load massively.  I was amazed by the difference it made.

Ironically when I fell ill with Fibromyalgia I got to REALLY test my book.  I went back to it and followed my own advice even more deeply.  I improved on everything – my mindset (took much more care of myself), my health (really fine tuned my nutrition), my time management (dumped a pile of stuff), the house (made it work, even without me), finances (the big hairy northern one was made redundant again) and sparkle (I started to take regular time twice a month for ME).

It’s not just me, check out these testimonials.

 

Why 2nd Edition

I’m a bit of a perfectionist, and after all the first book was my first.  I felt it could flow better.  Plus I want it to work for ‘Every Mum’, so it needs to be exceptionally clear.  I didn’t get any complaints, but I wasn’t totally happy with it.

An Agent gave me a big telling off, because she said that she could tell I had stopped pimping my book.  I had totally stopped, as soon as I knew that there would be a 2nd edition, which was daft.  So rather than wait until Sept (the original plan), we are going for it now – and just watch me pimp it!

 

Your Help

Please let people know about my book.

Next time you are talking to a mum who is unhappy, tired, stressed, lethargic, frantic about the house, worried about money and not looking after herself, tell her to get my book.

That way you are helping her, and then helping all the mums that she tells.

I don’t want to slag off parenting techniques, as they have their place.  But let’s get more books out there that helps mums to get stronger on their own, rather than relying on a book!

And when you get a chance, EVERY review on Amazon makes a difference.

Thank you guys!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

*If you are going to upgrade, please be aware that the free chapter on weight loss will be gone.  That’s because I’m writing it up as a book, which will be available in 6 months.  But in the meantime, do not despair!  There is a lot more information on my ‘No Diets Or Bootcamps‘ pages than in the book, so you don’t have to wait.