Crying. Sometimes there are tears of joy, sometimes tears of happiness, and even inspired tears of gratitude to life. The most annoying are angry tears; I remember getting infuriated with myself when I worked in Oracle (big american IT firm), because when I was at my angriest I would cry. Then there are sad tears. I’m not a great crier, but sometimes it’s just got to be done.
I was talking to a Mum the other day about her grief over her father’s death. She mentioned that she hadn’t cried yet, and I recommended a really sad film to get it going; I remember mine being brought on by Terminator 2 when the bad robot who was now good and a father role model dies. People around me thought I was weird and couldn’t understand how come I’d suddenly got upset. But it was a catalyst to help let them out. You see, tears might not always help a situation, but they are part of a process, and they are better out than in.
So if you ever need to cry, do so. Then when you need to pull yourself together, blow your nose, and take some deep breaths in through you nose. The nose has a link to the part of the brain that calms us down, so it has a much more effective result than breathing through your mouth. Remember Mums, we are female, and that’s where our strength comes from, not from trying to be ‘professional’ or ‘male’ or ‘strong’. Our strength is different from a man’s and that’s what will get us through the tears.
Don’t lose the power of the tears though. Listen to them too, and write down what the thoughts are that are making you cry. Writing is magical, it takes pressure off the brain and helps us to start to tackle things. Fears and worries are not as bad when faced. They can still ‘feel’ bad, but they won’t feel quite as bad. Then you can turn to a pragmatic friend to help you to look at your fears and make a plan of action.
I know we are ‘british’ and are therefore not meant to cry, but seriously, ignore that, and if you ever need to go for it, and remember there is a big virtual hug enroute from me.